8 Simple Hacks So You Don't Overeat During the Holidays

Rich, delicious food is inevitable at most gatherings this time of year, but overeating at every meal doesn’t have to be. You heard that right. You can—and should!—enjoy that slice of pie, glass of eggnog, or whatever it is you look forward to. But enjoying your favorites doesn’t mean that you have to gain the 1.3 pounds that the average American piles on between Thanksgiving and the new year.

The key is not overdoing it. Which, believe it or not, is easier than you think. Next time you’re gearing up for a holiday gathering, put these simple tricks to work. They’ll help you focus on eating the right amount for you instead of rolling home with a way-too-full belly.

1. Sneak in a workout before the party.

Yes, you’ll offset some of the extra calories you’re about to eat in the form of butter and starch. But there’s more to it than that. Though it seems counterintuitive, exercise might actually help to make people less hungry. When researchers had subjects sweat it out for a 15-minute interval workout and then told them they could eat as much pizza as they wanted, they ate about 100 calories less compared to subjects who spent the pre-meal period just resting.

There’s a psychological element at play too. “More than likely, if you’re exercising, you have a goal in mind,” says Sarah Pflugradt, RD. As a result, you might be more motivated to make healthier choices to avoid undoing that hard work.

2. Guzzle a big glass of water.

It takes up space in your stomach, so there’s literally less room for food. And it really works: When subjects in one British study drank 16 ounces of water 30 minutes before mealtime, they reported feeling fuller than those who skipped the H2O. (They lost more weight over the course of the 12-week study too.) Bonus: Staying hydrated will help combat the dreaded holiday bloat that can come from loading up on sugary, salty fare.

3. Promise yourself a reward.

This is one instance when mind games can really pay off. Decide on a healthy eating goal ahead of time—like having either mashed potatoes or stuffing or trying just one dessert. Then promise yourself a non-food reward if you stick with it. Spa, anyone?

It sounds deceptively easy, but it’s effective. Subjects who were promised money before a meal if they didn’t overeat were strongly motivated to choose a half-portion plate instead of a full portion one, found one University of Chicago study. And—here’s the clincher—they still didn’t overeat later on after getting their money.

4. Think small plates and big forks.

If you have the option to serve yourself on a salad plate instead of a dinner plate, do it. Less space means you’ll automatically pile on less food—as much as 45 percent less, according to some findings. And less food means less of a chance to come away from your meal feeling stuffed.

While you’re at it, grab a big fork or spoon. Weirdly, using a larger utensil can actually help you keep your portions in check, found one University of Utah study. Psychologically, small utensils don’t seem to do as good a job at satisfying hunger while we eat, so you might be tempted to go back for more.

5. Hold off on alcohol until after you eat.

Ever chowed down on pizza or cake after you had too much to drink? Us too. Alcohol lowers your inhibition (ooh, I’ll have two peppermint cupcakes!), especially when you drink on an empty stomach. What’s more, emerging research suggests that it also blocks chemical signals in the brain that regulate fullness—making it hard to know when you’ve had enough. So it’s no surprise that booze-fueled junk food binges are a thing.

To avoid Drunk Overeating Syndrome (not actually a real medical thing, but it sure feels like it), just wait to have a drink until you’ve had something to eat. Food will slow the absorption of alcohol, so you’ll be able to think clearer and remind yourself that, no, having an entire plate of cheese is not a good idea.

6. Sit next to the health nut.

You’ve probably heard about the studies that show people are more likely to go all out on junk if those around them are indulging. (Everyone’s getting fries—I might as well get them too!) But the opposite can be just as true. Research shows that our eating choices are strongly affected by those around us—for better or for worse.

So take advantage of your ability to be easily influenced and find someone who will steer you toward healthier choices. Get in the buffet line next to your veggie-loving cousin or sit next to that aunt who always leaves a few bites on her plate. Chances are, you’ll mirror their behavior without even realizing it.

7. Have a pause-before-seconds rule.

No one says you can’t fill up your plate a second time if you really want to. But instead of doing it right away, wait at least 20 minutes. It takes about that long for partially digested food to reach the small intestine and trigger the release of hormones that signal feelings of fullness, experts say. If you still want more after taking a break, go ahead and help yourself. But by that time, you just might find that you’re satisfied after all.

8. Stop food pushers with positivity.

Even if you’ve managed to make smart food choices, it’s tough to avoid those well-meaning folks who want you to keep eating more, and more, and more. So next time Grandma insists that you take a third scoop of creamed spinach, turn her down by telling her how great you feel right now.

“If you say ‘I can’t’ or ‘Gosh, I’m so fat,’ you’re bound to get pushback,” says Georgie Fear, RD. But if you tell them that you’re at the perfect level of fullness and are feeling really good? “That’s hard to argue with. What can they say—no, I want you to feel worse?”

Bottom line: Don’t be afraid to enjoy your food this holiday season, but keep these small, simple tips in mind because they can really add up to big differences in the long run (i.e., come January 1 when you want to start your resolutions on the right foot).



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What Does Magnesium Really Do for You?

Magnesium always seems to pop up on the list of supplements nutritionists recommend, and for good reason: Around 60 percent of all Americans are not getting their recommended daily intake, and that can cause some pretty major problems.

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But what is magnesium, and why does it matter so much?

As you may remember from your high school chemistry class but probably don’t, magnesium is an element (atomic number 12!) and it helps regulate a lot of the biochemical reactions in your body, including stuff like nerve and muscle function, blood pressure regulation, and protein synthesis. "Magnesium is a foundational micronutrient for hormone pathways and neurotransmitter regulation," says Taz Bhatia, M.D. Basically, it’s a critical part of the cocktail of minerals that makes your body tick.

What happens when you don’t have enough?

The more scientists delve into the role magnesium plays in different organs, the more crucial we’re realizing this mineral is, especially when it comes to preventing disease. Low magnesium levels have been associated with everything from hypertension to asthma to osteoporosis. And I can vouch for the fact that when I was pregnant, magnesium helped me with a host of problems. Constipation, for instance, cleared right up—and yeah, there’s good evidence that magnesium will take care of that too.

Beyond pregnancy, magnesium helped me at a crucial point in my life: A few years back, I fell down some stairs and ended up with a concussion that triggered migraines for months afterward. At my doctor’s suggestion, I took an increased dose of magnesium daily to help reduce the frequency of those migraines, and I was amazed to find that it helped. This didn’t work just for me out of wishful thinking, either—studies have demonstrated that low levels of magnesium can be associated with migraines.

Why you might be prone to a deficiency (and what to do about it)

So how do you know if you aren’t getting enough of this super-critical mineral? The unfortunate thing about a magnesium deficiency is that it isn’t usually detectable through blood tests because only 1 percent of your body’s magnesium is stored in your blood serum (the rest hangs out in your bones and soft tissues). That means you might not realize how depleted your magnesium levels are, even if your doctor orders a blood test.

But if you experience frequent gastrointestinal problems, drink a lot of coffee or alcohol, or suffer from anxiety, you may be especially prone to a deficiency, says Tara Campbell, ND, NAH. (Which sounds like most of us, TBH.)

The good news is that magnesium is available in a lot of good-for-you foods. "Magnesium-rich foods—including leafy greens, nuts (especially almonds) and dark chocolate are great ways to boost your levels," Bhatia says.

But if filling your diet with nuts and fish isn't doable (we don't judge), you can always go the supplement route. Just be careful which form you take. Many people make the mistake of grabbing whatever magnesium they find at the health food store without checking the label. But some are more easily absorbed in the gut (magnesium lactate, citrate, chloride, and aspartate) than others (magnesium oxide and sulfate).

However, magnesium citrate, which is often used in those powdered nighttime drink supplement meant to relax you, can cause gastrointestinal distress for some folks, Campbell says.

"Supplementing a small dose of magnesium, perhaps 200 mg, in a chelated form, is a good starting step," Bhatia explains. "Patients are often surprised when magnesium supplementation magically seems to 'cure' an ongoing sleep disorder, PMS, or constipation. A small, inexpensive dose can have a profound effect."

As with everything else related to medicine, it’s cool to learn about stuff and become your own best patient advocate, but definitely check in with your doctor before deciding you need to make a bulk purchase—or even go down too many Google rabbit holes.

Glynis Ratcliffe used to be an opera singer, but after her daughter begged her to stop singing and be quiet for the millionth time, she decided to use her inside voice and write instead. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.



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Marriage Counseling Made My Relationship Worse (but We're Working on It)

When I married my husband, I expected challenges, and as a psych major, I even anticipated some of them. But six months into our marriage, my husband and I were considering divorce, and it just didn't seem normal. We decided to take what seemed like the only reasonable next step: marriage counseling. Little did we know that rather than saving our marriage, counseling would nearly end it. Of course, our experience is unique to us, and not reflective of counseling as a whole. But let’s start the story at the beginning—all the way back to eighth grade.

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That’s when I first fell in love with the boy who would eventually become my husband. He had the cutest face (and dimples!), but what drew me to him most was a melancholy expression he always wore. In hindsight, this sadness was indicative of the struggles we would have to overcome, but at the time, I just felt it meant that he needed me, and oh, how I wanted to be needed.

My first love only lasted a month. We both moved on with our young lives, but reconnected when we were in college; I was determined to avoid any interaction with him, but he persistently asked if I would video chat with him. One day, I was bored at my dad’s house, and he convinced me to Skype with him. Somehow during that conversation, he charmed my phone number out of me. He wasn’t a sad, silent little middle schooler anymore, either. He was more direct, less reserved, and at least ten times as fine. At first, I was shocked by just how clearly he expressed he wanted to be with me.

I wasn’t prepared for this change to be significant enough to make me fall in love with him, but it was. Within a few months, we were inseparable. We would video chat for 14 hours straight, go to sleep together on video chat, wake up, and continue the conversation the next day.

By the time I graduated, he was serving in the armed forces, and we knew that what we had was more than just puppy love. Less than a month later, I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, we got engaged, and quickly decided to elope. It was romantic and exciting, but most of all, it was terrifying.

We went to marriage counselor No. 1

Several fights and threats of annulment later, we made the decision to attend counseling at our local church. But when we told the marriage counselor about our situation, she concluded that the issue straining our marriage was us sharing living space with relatives and not having a place of our own. Her recommendation: We should stay at the local homeless shelter in order to have our own space. This advice did not exactly sound helpful to us.

So we tried out counselor No. 2

So we found a new counselor, which was great until he informed us that we were beyond his skill level. Being told by a marriage counselor—a chaplain, at that—that your marriage appears to be unsalvageable felt like a slap in the face. I began to lose all hope that things would ever get better, even as we made the decision to see the next counselor.

Then we tried No. 3

The third counselor on our list was pretty nice, and he tried his best to give us equal time to express our concerns. But unfortunately, the style of every counselor isn’t a fit for every couple. Following his advice communication style ended up causing extra conflict for us. At the time, our biggest issue was which room would be the baby’s nursery; I was five months pregnant and furious that I wasn’t getting my desired room for our kid. We fought a lot, so much that I packed my car with all of my belongings and was fully prepared to make the 12-hour drive home back to my hometown.

My husband and I are both stubborn people, and it’s hard for either of us to admit defeat. One of the goals we set in counseling was to work on communicating our frustrations to each other in a non-antagonizing way. However, I found that for us, addressing issues in counseling could reopen wounds that we’d already healed.

Since sessions were often one or even two weeks apart, bringing up topics we’d already resolved was really frustrating. We’d arrive at counseling feeling like we’d made progress toward communicating differences and leave angry and resentful. Our counselor did not believe in letting us agree to disagree, so after our sessions, we’d both be upset for a few days.

And finally, the disastrous No. 4

In the beginning, the sessions with this counselor felt great to me. Finally, I thought, I’d found someone who understood my struggles. But it soon became clear that she sided an uncomfortable amount of the time with me. While that felt great at first, I didn't yet understand that my temporary joy was coming at the expense of my husband’s victimization. After our first counseling session with her, my husband was so affected that he went to bed without dinner. Session after session, I watched as she actively antagonized him, telling him he would soon lose his wife, and that he reminded her of her ex-husband. Clearly, she was overidentifying with me and losing her professionalism.

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Sadly, it took four sessions with her and a large conflict between this counselor and my husband before I admitted that it was time for us to stop seeing her. In our last meeting, I met her alone to end the relationship and finally stood up for my husband.

And at that moment, after five counselors, I decided that maybe counseling just wasn't for us.

So we went on our own way.

Instead of talking to more professionals, we decided to talk to each other. I began to notice the love in his intentional actions… like the very fact that despite having a negative history with therapists of any kind, my husband went to four different counselors with me. I tried to pick up more on little things, like when he brings me my favorite chocolate bar without my asking, and big things, like still being willing to give me a hug 10 minutes after a huge fight. He tries his best to love me the way I want to be loved, even when it's not easy for him—and that means the world to me.

That first year left an imprint, but I’m aiming to change it through positive intentions. I learned to seek change in myself before seeking it in him. Previously, my anxiety would cause me to spend hours wondering if the counselors were right about our incompatibility. Those moments made me pull away more, which made it more difficult for us to connect. But now, I’ve learned to stop thinking so far ahead. Instead of letting a bad day allow me to panic and contemplate divorce, I do my best to see each day a just that: one day. We still have our ups and downs, but I’ve learned to see each “tomorrow” as a reset button, and seeing him try so hard motivates me to give it all I have.

Our relationship is far from perfect, but I know it’s better than it was, and that’s because we learned to better consider each other feelings. I’ve noticed that he tries hard to check in before making decisions and gives me ample notice of plans with friends. We’re trying to prioritize spending time together; we’re not always successful, but the intention matters. Surprisingly, a lot of the improvement came from realizing he can’t be everything to me. He doesn’t have to be my best friend; I have friends for that. I’ve invested more time in doing things I enjoy, and that means less time to be critical of us.

Counseling just wasn’t for us; whether it was because the counselors we saw were especially bad, or that counseling wouldn’t work for us generally, I don’t know. But we found that we were treated with cookie-cutter routines for cookie-cutter marriages, and that didn’t work for our unique relationship, which has its own set of struggles. In the end, we've learned that no one knows us (and how to work on our relationship) better than we do and that just because things are hard doesn't mean they’ll always be that way.

A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez is a diversity content specialist who produces materials relating to mental and physical health, sociology, and parenting. Her work can be seen on several national platforms. Check her out on Facebook and Twitter.

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