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Even though we see plenty of people getting hot and heavy on our favorite TV shows, sex remains somewhat of a taboo topic that's best kept to hushed, private conversations. So it's no wonder that feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment can carry over to the bedroom. How do you stymie them and get excited about getting it on? This video from Stuff Mom Never Told You has three suggestions for taking that first step toward a happy, healthy sex life.
OK, so we definitely don’t show up at the gym sporting perfectly coiffed hair and winged eyeliner, but we can totally relate to the inner monologue ("Man, I hate cardio") and jamming out to a workout playlist. Let’s just say it’s worth sticking around to the end—Tay even says the video is based on real events.
We already work out with “Crazy in Love” and “Flawless” on full blast, so the logical next step is rocking apparel from Ivy Park, Beyoncé’s new activewear line. The singer follows the celebrity athleisure path blazed by Kate Hudson with Fabletics and Carrie Underwood with CALIA. But Beyoncé isn’t one to jump on the bandwagon just because something is trendy. In this two-minute ad, Beyoncé talks about how running in Houston's Parkwood Park as a child gave her time to reflect on what was really important to her. She says those workouts also prepared her for future challenges, from performing in front of sell-out crowds to giving birth to her daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, who the clothing line is named after.
It's hard to know exactly what makes some memes spread like wildfire (damn, Daniel!) while others flicker out unceremoniously. Most of the ones that gain traction poke fun at real people (see: ermahgerd girl or bad luck Brian) without much concern for their feelings.
Case in point: The LAD Bible shared side-by-side photos of actor Wentworth Miller, best known for his role on Fox’s Prison Break, with the caption: “When you break out of prison and find out about McDonald’s monopoly… ”
In response, Miller published a moving open letter about how he had turned to food to help cope with depression and suicidal thoughts. Here's a quick snippet:
"In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could look forward to. Count on to get me through. There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of Top Chef. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be. And I put on weight. Big f--king deal."
The LAD Bible has since apologized, but it's still worth checking out Miller's full post.
Ever notice how the droplets that appear on your forehead as you nervously await a big presentation smell worse than when you sweat through your shirt during a grueling workout? According to this video from Stuff Mom Never Told You, sweat is produced two ways, and one really reeks. Exercise sweat is mostly made up of water and, as a result, gives off very little odor. In contrast, anxiety sweat contains both water and proteins. These proteins react with bacteria on the skin to produce that BO smell we all love to hate.
You go, grandma! Watch 78-year-old Shirley Webb deadlift 225 pounds three times like it's no big deal. (Now we want to know how much she squats!) The craziest thing is Webb just started lifting weights two years ago after some prodding from her granddaughter. She told The Today Show: "At the time, I couldn't walk up the stairs unless I held on to the handrail, and if I got on the floor, I couldn't get up without a chair. Now I can come right up off the floor. The harder I work out, the better I feel."
The hard work has paid off. Webb now holds the Illinois state record for deadlifting in her age group. And next time someone asks us who we want to be when we grow up, we have our answer.
Peanut butter and jelly. Lois Lane and Superman. Breakfast and Nike. Did you raise your eyebrows at that last one? Hear us out. Nike’s newest sneaker is inspired by another classic pairing: chicken and waffles. With a waffle-like texture and the illusion of syrup dripping on the iconic swoosh, these kicks are something we’d totally rock at brunch—hell, we’re getting hungry just looking at them. (Fun fact: The soles of the first pair of Nike shoes were made using a waffle iron as a mold—crazy, we know.) The sneakers will be available in April, so we’ll be salivating until then.
Some days are so nuts that squeezing in a workout doesn’t seem possible, never mind slowing down enough to practice yoga. But here’s the good news: Everyone has 20 minutes.
In this video from Grokker, yoga instructor Laura Burkhart takes you through an intermediate vinyasa practice. This balanced flow series is energetic and fluid—the perfect combination for when you feel crazed and crunched for time. You’ll take a few minutes to connect to your breath then work through a dynamic sequence of lunges, twists, warrior poses, and chaturangas. The quick transitions will give you the energy you need to take on the rest of your day.
All you need is a yoga mat (though you can use a yoga block and strap if you have them on hand). Squeeze this in first thing in the morning, on your lunch break, or during your favorite TV show. Making time for yourself—even just 20 minutes—will make a huge difference. Simply press play and follow along.
Looking for more short and effective at-home workouts? Grokker has thousands of routines, so you’ll never get bored. Bonus: For a limited time, Greatist readers get 40 percent off Grokker Premium (just $9 per month) and their first 14 days free. Sign up now!
Precisely three years ago, I was fired from my job. Sorry, "laid off." No, I was right the first time. I was fired.
I was brought into a conference room with the shades drawn and told that the company no longer needed my services—that my position was being eliminated and my tenure expired that day. I cried: In my memory, I softly wept, but in reality, I wailed. Two people sat uncomfortably as tears sputtered down my face, and my head drooped as I tried to process what was happening.
It's over.
After I escaped the airless room, I fled to my desk, head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the office. I willed myself to be invisible long enough to gather my bag, my pride, and make it to street level. In the lobby, I ran into my first friend at the company, rammed my head into his shoulder, shook and sobbed, as he wrapped his arms around my slumped body. After a few beats, I felt his grip loosen, and I knew it was time to go.
The sharp March air slammed my face as I exited the building, taking one more glance at the place. And then much to my surprise, I felt… relieved.
I'm free.
I learned a lot of things from this job—about how great humans can be, how hideous humans can be, my professional strengths and weaknesses. But above all, this job showed me what I'd always known in my heart to be true: I was meant to write. And on the flip side, not meant to be doing what I was doing.
It also taught me about the meaning of freedom. An implication of the word "freedom" is that you're making a conscious decision. You're choosing your own adventure, and no one else's opinions or actions have any influence. But that's actually just one definition. The thing you realize after being thrown out on your as* is that sometimes you need freedom to be created for you. Did I hate my job? You bet. Was I going to leave before I found another job? Not a chance. Along with one month's severance, I was given the invaluable gift of doing whatever the hell I wanted.
But freedom is also scary.
When you consider being free, you picture zip-lining in Costa Rica or taking a gourmet pastry class. Professional freedom is a completely different beast. The sheer volume of choice, of websites to peruse and people to connect with on LinkedIn and degrees you wish you'd gotten, is overwhelming at best and soul-crushing at worst. It's enough to make you exclusively kickbox, read novels, and travel for a few months until you even feel ready to even explore a new professional frontier. Not that I'd know anything about that.
For a good while there, I was scared sh*tless. I couldn't believe I had the audacity to think someone would pay me actual minted money to string words together and tell stories. Journalism school felt like another lifetime. And in many ways, it was. This was journalism 2.0, Marisa's career 2.0, Life 2.0.
Now the job I was fired from precisely three years ago today feels like another lifetime. In the hours after I slipped out of the office for good and dragged my limp body back to my apartment, a co-worker emailed me to say how sad she was about my departure. She also told me I was "so talented and kind and capable." I like to think she was right about that, even if my true ambition had not yet been revealed.
Another great thing about freedom is that it allows you to see who you really are. The pretty parts, the ugly parts. When you have no job to rush to each morning, you have the time to look at yourself long and hard in the mirror, sit with your thoughts for hours on end, and let another force within you do the driving for a while.
Once my body surrendered the memory of what was, it began to imagine what could be. Just as you can never predict when you'll be forced into freedom, you never quite know when you'll be forced out of it. And when you give up freedom for a dream, I've learned, you no longer feel like a captive.
This article originally appeared on Medium and was republished with the author's permission. The views expressed herein are hers. Marisa Kabas is a staff writer at The Daily Dot. Follow her on Twitter.
You might think it’s totally innocent to sneak a second scoop of salsa or queso onto the same chip, but double-dipping actually sends a significant amount of bacteria on a one-way ride from your mouth to the bowl. This video from New York magazine shows just how much bacteria you leave behind in three common dips and highlights the health risks associated with the habit. The takeaway: Spare your friends and family from secondhand spit and save it for solo snacking.
The concept that carbs are evil can be put to bed with one statement:
All vegetables and fruits are carbohydrates.
So it should come as no surprise that any diet attempting to completely purge carbohydrates—or anyone suggesting all carbs are evil—needs to take a step back, cut out the dogma, and take a hard look at reality and personal preference.
Few popular diets ever suggest you eat more carbs. Why is it they get such a bad reputation? There's a huge gap between understanding foods that have healthy qualities (think micronutrients like vitamins and minerals) and foods that play a part in weight loss. While foods are digested differently, almost any food can be part of a weight-loss plan.
It's why we've seen esteemed scientists eat a diet primarily of Twinkies to prove how dropping pounds can be turned into a mathematical equation.
That's not an invitation to begin an all-snack-food diet. Instead, it's context to finding the balance between eating foods you enjoy—like rice or potatoes—instead of having to follow a bland, frustrating diet that you inevitably abandon out of frustration and extreme hangriness. [Hangry (noun): that feeling of hungry that drives you to extreme levels of anger and/or becoming whiny.]
So let's stop with the nonsense. Not all carbs are bad. At the same time, certain types of carbs can make it harder for you to look and feel the way you want, especially when you factor in your exercise behaviors.
The biggest carbohydrate threat is to those with the "my body hates carbs" gene. These people appear allergic to carbs because, well, they are. Gluten sensitivity, food allergies, and inflammation make foods such as grains and bread a common enemy.
Even if you don't suffer from any of those problems, you might find that when you eat more carbs, you feel bloated and fat—especially when those carbs come from sugar, candy, or lots of processed crap. (Think of foods that are manufactured and don't have the best nutritional profile… instant mac and cheese, anyone?)
At the same time, the overreaction to carbs is oftentimes a by-product of a poorly designed diet.
Here's what happens to most dieters:
Step 1: They "determine" carbs are bad.
Step 2: They remove all carbs.
Step 3: Weight loss occurs within the first one-to-two weeks. Sometimes quite a bit. But fat loss is not a rapid process. (Although it can be for people with lots to lose, like 50 to 100 pounds.) So what's happening? Your body is dropping water weight because carbs hold water (but not necessarily in a bad way).
Step 4: Hunger and frustration builds, focus drops, and energy levels suffer. Eventually, you return to eating carbs after a period (usually about two weeks) of withdrawal. What happens? You might feel bloated, sick, and even see the scale dramatically shift.
The process plays out repeatedly, so let's pump the breaks and solve the carb-sensitivity issue. When you reintroduce carbs after a no-carb period, many things happen in your body. At the most basic level, you're replenishing your depleted carb stores and gaining back the water weight. The end result is thinking, "See, carbs are bad!" Which inevitably begins an ongoing struggle of figuring out what you can eat without being miserable.
What does it all mean? A dogmatic, black-and-white approach to carbs is hurting your understanding of what you can and can't eat.
How many carbs you can eat and what you can tolerate is based on your body. It's not a sexy answer, but it's the truth.
You can't assume that high-carb diets are bad just as you can't assume that high-protein or high-fat diets are bad. Different types of diets work for different types of people. Part of it is how your body responds and another aspect is less physiological and more psychological. The physiological nature is oftentimes controlled by insulin, which, at the most basic level, is a storage hormone.
In general, the less body fat you carry, the better your insulin sensitivity, which means you can eat more carbs. (Your body doesn't react as aggressively to larger amounts of carbohydrates, often viewed as surging blood sugar.) While insulin is important for weight loss and overall health, it's not a black-and-white situation.
You can't assume that high-carb diets are bad just as you can't assume that high-protein or high-fat diets are bad. Different types of diets work for different types of people.
If you are more insulin resistant, it doesn't mean you can't lose weight, but it does have a big impact on the type of diet you should follow. If you're more insulin sensitive (typically lower body fat), your body will respond better to a higher-carbohydrate diet. If you're less sensitive (more resistant), then it can often feel like more carbs will go straight to your gut or your as*. And most of the time, it's not just in your head.
Unfortunately, determining insulin levels isn't an easy process and requires blood work, but you can see how your body reacts to higher-carb meals. The simplest test (although far from perfect) is consuming carbs in a post-workout period. Do you feel great or do you feel miserable and more bloated? If it's the latter, either your insulin sensitivity isn't great or you just ate too much.
A more balanced (and successful) approach is to select a diet and then measure fat loss every two-to-four weeks (but not more frequently). Remember: Fat loss isn't magic. If you think your insulin sensitivity is good, then you can start with about 50 percent of your diet from carbohydrates. If you're not confident and worried you're resistant—or know you have a lot of weight to lose—begin with about 20 to 30 percent of your calories from carbs.
The Paleo diet works for many people, but it's not magic. Rather, removing carbs often means you're eating fewer calories per day and focusing on a diet that consists of animal proteins, vegetables, and fruits. That's definitely a recipe for success but not what is required to drop pounds. Not to mention, if you eat unlimited amounts of anything (even if it's natural), you will gain weight.
The bigger issue with a no-carb approach is if it doesn't consider the foods you love. Removing certain foods is one way to structure an eating plan. But if complete withdrawal pushes aggressively against personal preference, you're setting yourself up for failure. Research has even shown that having dessert can help with weight loss. Case in point: Put a pasta lover on a Paleo diet and prepare for pain.
We want a flashy one-size-fits-all solution, but I've seen enough different diets work for different types of people to know that a broad generalization is not the solution. It's actually the foundation of the problem. So we need to stop with the scare tactics and suggestions that might create imbalanced diets and do more harm than good.
There are many things in life we can't explain with science. Or many things that science has yet to prove. (Or may never prove due to lack of funding, lack of interest, or just crappy studies. Hey, it happens.)
However, when science does uncover some truths, it's important they're not ignored. In the case of carbs, insisting that "all carbs are bad" isn't a fair conclusion that can be applied to everyone. (Side note: If you're trying to build muscle, removing all carbs is potentially going to make the process harder too.)
"The idea that carbs are the enemy is a common appeal to emotion and popular folklore, rather than the full range of scientific evidence," says Alan Aragon, M.S., a nutritionist in Westlake Village, CA.
The best example is this meta-analysis that compared the effects of low-carbohydrate diets and low-fat diets.
Here's what the researchers found:
1. Low-fat diets were slightly more effective at lowering total cholesterol and LDL.
2. Low-carb diets were more effective at increasing HDL and decreasing triglycerides
3. Neither diet was more effective than the other at reducing body weight, waist girth, blood pressure, glucose, and insulin levels.
This overall lack of differential effects led the authors to conclude that both low-carb and low-fat diets are viable options for reducing weight and improving metabolic risk factors, Aragon says. One of the strengths of this analysis was its large sample size: It included 23 trials from multiple countries and a total of 2,788 participants. Meaning this isn't one small snippet of truth.
What's more, the cuisines of some of the healthiest populations in the world consist of diets that have heavy carbohydrate components.
The best examples are the Blue Zones, known as "longevity hotspots that have the longest life expectancies and the lowest rates of chronic and degenerative diseases," Aragon says. The main energy sources for all of these Blue Zones are carbohydrates. Need more evidence? The top 10 countries in the world with the lowest obesity rates all consume a carb-dominant diet.
So where does that leave you? Are you supposed to assume that a high-carb diet only makes Americans fat? No, but we can use that to better understand and guide our eating habits.
Let's face it: We can't discount that low-carb diets have been found to be a very healthy way of eating. There's plenty of research that indicates lower-carb diets do everything from helping with weight loss to building bodies designed to fight off disease. In fact, unless trying to build muscle, I typically follow a lower-carb approach. (Notice I said "lower-carb" instead of "no-carb," because lower can mean 100 to 200 grams per day.) The more important message—and the one that will influence how you eat—is developing an understanding that while carbs are not all bad, they're not all good either.
"Saying carbs are OK does not mean you should shovel in bucket-loads of refined flour foods and chase them down with gallons of soda," Aragon says. Instead, be smart about where the majority of your carbs come from. It's always best to create a diet that's filled with whole and minimally refined foods. Eat more healthy foods (proteins, vegetables, fruits) and less of the stuff you know tastes good but has limited nutritional value (candy, soda, sugar-loaded foods, and boatloads of pasta).
Finding the right diet for you can take some work, but it's important to remember that it can include carbs. A healthy diet can even include some of the carbs you might not consider healthy—whether bread, grains, and rice, or some sugary dessert every now and then.
The main point is to make the majority of your diet, say 80 to 90 percent, come from the good stuff, and keep the minority to the bad. (Or avoid it altogether, if that's your preference or you know that a small taste might open the gateways to a binging episode.)
Some people will thrive on more carbs, while others will suffer. Your best bet is to play around with food options that are both healthy and work for you. This is the "sustainability diet," and while it's not really a diet (or all that exciting), it is the best approach to dietary success.
Take it from one of the best nutritionists in the world: "Your carb intake should be individualized according to your personal preference, tolerance, and athletic and aesthetic goals," Aragon says. Experiment and be patient. Find the right balance for your body and let that become the truth when it comes to your dietary stance on carbs and the message we need to spread.
This post originally appeared on Born Fitness and was reposted with the author's permission. The views expressed herein are his. Adam Bornstein is the author of Man 2.0: Engineering the Alpha. To work with him on online fitness and diet programs, you can apply for his coaching program.
We know packing lunch is good for our health and our bank account. But if you grab any old plastic container, you risk spills—and smells. And while mason jars are portable and adorable, they aren't roomy enough for our appetites.
Wean Green's bowls, on the other hand, can hold a heaping serving of pasta or a large salad. Plus, they come with snap-on lids that are airtight and leakproof. The colorful containers are made from eco-friendly tempered glass, so they're durable and won’t break when dropped (trust us, we can be pretty clumsy). The bowls are also BPA free, which means you can heat up leftovers in the microwave without worrying about transferring potentially harmful chemicals to your food.
The 24-ounce one is our fave for soups, stews, or salads, but you've got options. Sizes range from tiny containers for salad dressing or yogurt to bigger cubes that'll fit a full meal. Bonus: They do double duty as storage for odds and ends around the house, such as jewelry, makeup, tech cords, or office supplies.
I was 14 years old, navigating the murky waters of adolescent insecurity. I was walking into school one morning, lost in my thoughts about the boy I liked and the girls whose good side I hoped I would still be on that day. (Remember those fickle years?)
Then I glimpsed down at my feet and gasped: Holy sh*t! I was wearing mismatched shoes. It was too late to go home and change. What was I going to do?
I could tell everyone and bring attention to it first, making a joke of it. Or maybe I could try and make it a fashion statement. (Yeah, right!)
But I made an alternative decision. The shoes were similar enough (or so I told myself), so I wouldn't say anything at all. Nervously, I decided to treat it like a little experiment. If anyone happened to notice, I'd act surprised.
How often do little mess-ups like this happen to you? You forget a friend’s birthday. Or forget to invite a friend to your birthday celebration. You have a blemish that you think consumes your entire face. You slip up in a presentation and freeze for a second. Your boss asks a question, and you don’t know the answer. You gain a couple of pounds on vacation and think everyone can tell. Your manicure chips right before walking into a job interview.
This list can go on and on.
But here’s the thing: People are way too obsessed with their own lives—their appearance, performance, the number of freakin’ likes on their Instagram posts—to take stock of or judge what you are doing.
Many people spend years living in fear of how others perceive them when the truth is, other people simply don’t care.
Everybody is busy starring in his or her own movie. They are not scrutinizing your role as an extra. And sadly, many people spend years living in fear of how others perceive them when the truth is, other people simply don’t care. Cue: huge exhale!
This is also one of the deepest joys of moving into my 30s. My thoughts have shifted from, “Hmm, does that person like me?” to “Hmm, do I like myself?” or “Hmm, do I even like that person?”
The fact is, despite small blunders (which can feel like massive errors in our overactive minds), you can still choose to be an empowered human or disempowered victim. And the world will respond accordingly.
Still sweating the small stuff? Here’s my number one rule to keep in mind: Ask yourself, “Will I care about—or even remember—this in six months' time?”
If something is worrying you right now, stop and think: It’s April. Will today's concern matter in October?
Will I care about—or even remember—this in six months' time?
My guess: hell no! (And trust me, 99 percent of what we worry about is absolute nonsense.) It will be a blip in your memory you probably won't be able to recall, even if pressed. Test this theory: Can you remember what you were worrying about six months ago on this exact date?
My guess again: absolutely not. And if not, why worry now?
The best part is that asking yourself this question reframes what matters most in your life: your work. Your health. Your financial responsibilities. Your closest relationships. These things count. Invest in them rather than worry about what someone said, if you said the wrong thing, or why someone didn’t text you back.
Also remember: Most minor slip-ups (which are the vast majority of mistakes) can benefit us by teaching us something. There is no such thing as a life without mistakes, so take something useful from each mishap if you can.
If you messed up a presentation, spend 10 more minutes prepping next time. Anticipate your boss’s needs in advance of the next meeting. Go for clear polish before your next interview. Keep your shoes in order in your closet!
And hey—if you don’t, that’s OK too.
Life is not about avoiding mistakes. It’s about learning to let go of the stress and BS we feed ourselves about our worth when life does not go 100 percent according to plan.
And if you find yourself truly sweating what other people say, do, or feel, keep in mind this universal truth: It’s not you—it’s them.
When we relax, stay true to ourselves, and yes, maybe even make mistakes (shudder), only then can the best version of ourselves begin to surface. You’ll be lighter and more carefree. You’ll live from the heart, from the inside out. As David Foster Wallace puts it, “You’ll worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.”
Oh, and in case you were wondering: Nobody noticed my wonky shoes that morning. I felt like the world gave me a little wink and a nudge forward that day, letting me in on this universal secret. And it’s too important a secret to keep in the (shoe) closet!
Susie Moore is Greatist’s life coach columnist and a confidence coach in New York City. Sign up for her free weekly wellness tips on her website and check back every Tuesday for her latest column!
If you've ever been in a workout class and felt lost as the instructor shouts, "Burpee! Plank! Kettlebell swing!"—we understand. While those moves may not look all that difficult, each requires a little extra attention and know-how. That's where we come in. Below are step-by-step guides on how to perform 8 classic exercises with perfect form, so you know where to feel it and what muscles you'll be strengthening.
Most obituaries are purposely vague, relying on phrases like “she lived a long life” or “he died suddenly.” Eleni Pinnow didn’t mince words when writing her sister’s obit: “Aletha Meyer Pinnow, 31, of Duluth, formerly of Oswego and Chicago, IL, died from depression and suicide on February 20, 2016.”
As Pinnow explained in a follow-up essay in The Washington Post, she chose to be radically honest about her sister’s struggle in hopes of helping others dealing with depression. Here’s a taste of Pinnow’s eloquent essay (though it’s really worth checking out the whole thing):
My sister’s depression fed on her desire to keep it secret and hidden from everyone. I could not save my sister. I could not reach my sister through her depression. Aletha slipped from my grasp, and I cannot bring her back. I can only urge others to distrust the voice of depression. I can plead for people to seek help and treatment. I can talk about depression and invite others to the conversation. I can tell everyone that will listen that depression lies. I can tell the truth.
If you follow Khloé Kardashian on Instagram, you've probably seen her rocking some sweet workout clothes. Where does she keep them all? In her fitness closet, of course. We know it sounds ridiculous—and it is—but that didn’t stop us from pressing play to get the full tour. And we totally get it when she says that walking by a closet filled with dozens of kicks and color-coordinated clothes gives her serious workout motivation. Lucky for you, there are also plenty of free ways to convince yourself to break a sweat. These noncheesy mantras are a good start.
