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Belly Fat Burning Myths
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7 Ways to Explore Your Sexual Compatibility in a New Relationship
While it's tempting to try too hard to impress your partner during the intoxicating "getting to know you" stage—literally, early-stage romantic love looks a lot like addiction—that's not a great long-term strategy. You want to be your most authentic self so you can get an accurate gauge as to how well you actually fit together. After all, who you actually are is what's really going to matter once the love-drug loses its potency.
Though it can feel vulnerable and potentially awkward to discuss your deepest desires with someone new in your life, it's worth it a hundred times over because that's how you determine what mutually gets you off—not to mention, how you build a foundation of intimacy.
To help you get the conversation started in your new (or gently used) relationship, I consulted three experts for their hot tips and best practices. Here's what they said:
1. Just talk about it.
"Communication is extremely important in a new relationship, especially when it comes to sex," says sex researcher and neuroscientist Debra H Soh, Ph.D. "Be upfront about what you like when it comes to your sexual preferences and particularly how often you prefer to have sex."
Of course, that's easier said than done. Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast (you're gonna wanna queue up a few episodes immediately if you've never listened to it before), admits that talking about sex is only slightly less comfortable than talking about than money—depending who you ask. However, it's best to bite the bullet right away because "the earlier you talk about it, the sooner you'll be having more satisfying sex."
2. Keep it lighthearted and curious.
Morse highly recommends having these exploratory sex convos outside the bedroom in a neutral environment, like a casual Sunday brunch or on a road trip. "It's important to stay away from the blame-and-shame conversation," she says. "Think: less critical, more curious. Asking questions, without judgment, and listening, will make your sex talk way more effective."
3. Make a list.
Make a sexual bucket list with the top 3-5 things you want to explore in the bedroom, then choose the fantasies you genuinely want to try with your partner. Swap lists and see where you match up fantasy-wise, and also where you'd be down for some sexual experimentation.
4. Sext it out.
Certified sexologist Anka Radakovich suggests conducting this exercise via text message if that feels more comfortable. "Who knows, you may surprise each other and find out you both like sex in public, or whatever," she says."Just don't make fun of the other person if they say they like something you think is weird—like sucking toes."
5. Play a game.
It's hard to argue with Morse when she says, "Who doesn't love a good board game? Especially one where the goal is to explore your fantasies and lay your kinky cards on the table."
The board game she's talking about: Sex Marks the Spot by Creative Conceptions. This game encourages partners to reveal their kinky sides more comfortably. It's a playful and effective way to find out sooner rather than later if you're both on the same playing field. It also includes sexy suggestions and adventures—and the winner gets to have their fantasy come true! (Obviously, consent is key in these scenarios.)
6. Keep an open mind.
Remember that talking it out isn't the enemy of eroticism. "Take people who are into hardcore BDSM who do the most extreme stuff," Radakovich says. "They discuss everything beforehand. They don't do surprise anal penetration and expect the other person to be into it. They practically choreograph every sexual act they are about to do before they do it."
7. Don't throw in the towel if it's not a perfect fit.
So what if your compatibility is a little off?
"I urge new couples to accept that sexual compatibility isn't a guarantee," Morse says. "In fact, it's inevitable that great sex will always take consistent, honest communication."
Which brings us full circle. "The best way to handle it is to start talking about sex as soon as you start having it," Morse says. "Understand that sexual desires will shift in all stages of a relationship, not just in the beginning."
Morse brings it on home with what is perhaps the most crucial, overarching piece of relationship advice of all, both in and out of the bedroom. "Communication is a lubrication—couples who talk about sex have more satisfying and happy sex."
Courtney Kocak is a Los Angeles-based writer and host of the sex and love podcast Reality Bytes. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @courtneykocak.
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Staying Healthy and Fit
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What Does Vitamin C Serum Really Do for Your Skin?
There are many skin care ingredients that do amazing things for your face, but they usually target only one or two problems at once. So if, for instance—not that I'm speaking from experience—you're an ex-smoker with hyperpigmentation and acne-prone skin who doesn't want to use a million products and spend a million dollars, you have some tough choices to make.
Vitamin C serums have been touted as cure-all products that beauty bloggers love to claim can help almost all common skin concerns—including sun damage, fine lines, acne scars, and under-eye bags. But to find out if a Vitamin C serum really is the magic potion everyone's claiming, we turned to the experts.
What do Vitamin C serums do—and how?
Vitamin C is a potent antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals, which are generated by our bodies when exposed to certain conditions, including pollution and UV rays. A balance between free radicals and antioxidants is important—if the free radicals inundate the body and prevent its ability to regulate them, oxidative stress can occur. Free radicals can negatively impact DNA, lipids, and proteins; cause a variety of diseases; damage our cells and disrupt the skin's ability to repair itself; and slow down collagen production.
Applying antioxidants like vitamin C can help your body cope with this stress… so what are the resulting benefits?
Anti-Aging Benefits
"Serums with vitamin C also stimulate collagen production, which slows as we age," says Debra Jaliman, M.D., a board-certified dermatologist and author of the book Skin Rules: Trade Secrets from a Top New York Dermatologist. Collagen is a structural protein that holds cells together, strengthens skin, and gives it elasticity—all of which are important for a healthy, toned complexion. By boosting our skin's ability to make collagen, a Vitamin C serum helps soften existing fine lines and wrinkles—while preventing new ones from forming.
Fight Against Hyperpigmentation
"Vitamin C serums fight hyperpigmentation by inhibiting the tyrosinase enzyme and preventing melanin production," says Rhonda Q. Klein, M.D., a board-certified dermatologist. The process brightens dark spots without lightening skin tone overall.
Help With Acne and Acne Scarring
Vitamin C is anti-inflammatory, and a vitamin C serum can both help clear up acne and reduce the redness associated with it—as well as improve skin texture. "Due to the pro-collagen and pro-elastin effects of vitamin C, acne scars may also be reduced," Klein says. If you have acne, make sure to exfoliate before applying the serum for better penetration.
Protection Against Sun Damage
A vitamin C serum may be able to reverse some of the damage your sunbathing days have wreaked on your skin and may even protect you from UV rays. But while a Vitamin C serum is many things, a sunscreen it is not, so please don't throw away your SPF. However, using a vitamin C serum can diminish the harm of UV rays, so it's a great component of your daily UV-fighting routine.
Can you layer a vitamin C serum with other skin care products?
"Dermatologists love layering products!" Klein says. "I generally advise going from lowest to highest pH, like using either an alpha or beta hydroxy acid cleanser in the morning followed by the vitamin C serum."
A vitamin C serum will not lose its potency if applied in an incorrect order, but applying lowest to highest pH when layering skin products will increase absorption—and therefore efficacy, according to Klein. Feel free to add peptides, hyaluronic acids, and B5 after the Vitamin C serum. One exception is products with niacinamide. "Niacinamide turns into niacin when mixed with Vitamin C," cautions Jaliman. Niacin, although not harmful, can cause short-term skin redness and tingling in people with sensitive skin.
What should you look for in a vitamin C serum?
"Getting a high level of vitamin C to boost collagen—without bringing on redness and irritation—is the key to vitamin C products," Klein says. Her recommendation is to use a serum that has between 15 and 30 percent vitamin C. "Vitamin C should be one of the first ingredients listed on the label," Jaliman adds.
Vitamin C is unstable and will degrade over time, losing its efficacy. Interacting with heat, light, and air speeds up the process, which is why you should look for serums in opaque, airtight bottles.
There are many different derivatives of vitamin C, including ascorbic acid, magnesium ascorbyl phosphate, and sodium ascorbyl phosphate—so if one derivative is too irritating, you can always try another. L-ascorbic acid is one popular form of vitamin C, and although it's more unstable than other forms of vitamin C, it's also less irritating. Look for vitamin C serums that contain ferulic acid, which helps stabilize the vitamin and creates an ideal pH level.
How do I pick the best vitamin C serum?
Vitamin C serums often contain other skin-saving ingredients—if you have dry or lackluster skin, look for a serum that contains hyaluronic acid, which is incredibly moisturizing. Both Klein and Jaliman rave about the Mad Hippie Vitamin C Serum. In addition to hyaluronic acid, the Mad Hippie formula contains ferulic acid (which, as we mentioned, can make Vitamin C more stable) and vitamin E, which has been shown to increase vitamin C's photoprotective effects.
Another favorite with both doctors and seemingly every beauty blogger out there is the SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic. As the name suggests, the SkinCeuticals formula also contains ferulic acid and Vitamin E.
Klein is also a fan of the Obagi Professional-C serum. The Obagi serum comes in 3 strengths, 10, 15, or 20 percent, so you can build up your tolerance to a higher percentage of vitamin C. For those looking for even more potency, Revision Vitamin C Lotion 30% has the highest concentration of Vitamin C available.
Masha Vapnitchnaia is a travel and lifestyle writer and researcher. She has been traveling her whole life, taking her first flight at the age of four and taking 100 more since. Follow her pilgrimages at unlikelypilgrim.com
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Weird Stuff About Being a New Mom That Friends Are Too Nice to Tell You
New motherhood should be full of photo-perfect moments and sheer emotional bliss. Or at least that’s the emotional core of every movie in which a woman pops out a baby while wearing full hair and makeup. Those are accurate, right?
For mortals, however, there are some hard truths about life post-baby that your friends are probably too nice to tell you, so... buckle up.
Mommy brain is real, and it’s not going away.
But it will get better; I almost never put my keys in the freezer anymore. The thing is, once you’re a mom, you’re always going to be at least partly in parent mode, and that requires some of your brain power at all times.
Your body has changed, and some of those changes are here to stay.
People will tell you that you can "get your body back." What they really mean is that you will get a body back. It may even mostly resemble the one you used to have. But your body has done some amazing things in the name of creating new life—and the new shoe size/bra size/ribcage expansion/hair loss/hair texture reversals are part of the cost of doing business. See also: Shar-Pei belly.
You will have sex again, but it won't be the same.
It might even be better than it was pre-kids (when you can find the time and energy). But it, too, will be different. For a while, you might be swollen or sore. After that, you might just be exhausted. You might also feel pressured to get with the program and start up again stat, lest you risk your relationship. I’m here to tell you that probably the best way to guarantee no sex is to pressure yourself to feel sexy. Give yourself space and permission to ease back into it.
Expectations of personal time, space—really, personal anything—need to be managed.
You know all those clichés about new moms never having time to take a shower, brush their teeth, or change their clothes? They exist for a reason. While the initial hygiene-compromised panic mode will largely calm down, the concept of alone time is probably as outdated as your old lingerie. You will often find that you can’t seem to finish any activity—even peeing—without being interrupted. This doesn’t ever really change, although as your kids get older, you can be more insistent about carving out demand-free time (and locking the door when needed).
There will be garments in your life you had never envisioned.
Before I had my first kid, I had no idea that maxi pads could be that large. Nor was I aware of the existence of stretchy, disposable mesh panties... but after giving birth, I was profoundly grateful for their invention. And a PSA here: Go to a real, legit underclothes store and get yourself measured for a couple of new bras, at least once you’re done breastfeeding. This will help.
Your body might feel… off.
If you have a scar, it may itch or twinge mysteriously as it heals. And then it may continue to do so long after it’s already healed up. I’m at nearly nine years since my last kid was born, and I’ll let you know if this ever stops. Some of my friends have told me that they’ve also experienced stretching or "out of place" sensations vaginally. It helps a lot to talk about this stuff with others—if you’re shy, find a friend who lives in another time zone so you don’t have to do it in person.
Your tastes might weirdly change.
Perfumes you used to love might not smell great on your skin anymore, or you could discover that your favorite deodorant no longer works. Tastes that you previously enjoyed may have become associated with morning sickness or other ailments; it took me about four years to get over the profound and sudden revulsion toward blue cheese that I developed during my first pregnancy. You may also be carrying around your new child’s DNA—and there’s even evidence that the cells you got from your mother might be duking it out with the baby’s! Crazy, yes.
Unexpected external stuff can shift too.
Your social circle may shift post-baby. Yes, women without kids can certainly be friends with women who have kids. But you might find that it takes more effort. Parenting is likely to consume a lot of your focus, and other moms are likely to be more tolerant of this. On the other hand, you may also come to realize that all you and your mom friends talk about is parenting and that you’d do anything to have a conversation that doesn’t involve words like "poop," "sleep schedule," or "sippy." So, while it could be rough going for a while, preserving non-mom friendships can help retain a sense of perspective.
It might seem like the world will never be the same—and it won’t. But the new normal eventually becomes exactly that: normal. And you’ll have just about enough time to adjust before the next stage hits... and you get to recalibrate all over again.
Madeleine Deliee recently wrote about the new Doctor Who, visiting the Anne Frank House, dystopic Young Adult literature, and Wonder Woman’s alcoholism. She likes to keep 'em guessing and occasionally tweets @MMDeliee.
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Some Real Talk About Breastfeeding and What to Expect
Isn't it funny how, when you have a kid, everyone tells you all about breastfeeding while simultaneously telling you nothing about breastfeeding?
When I was pregnant a few years ago, I was absolutely determined to be a total supermom: You know, that mythical parenting persona that only exists in social media. In hopes of being the real deal, I read my ass off about parenting and breastfeeding and started going to La Leche League meetings at like six months pregnant. While I did learn a lot, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the total breastfeeding panic that ensued.
Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed breastfeeding. It was great for us, and I advocate for other mothers who want to do the same. But that didn't make the process any less difficult, and there are definitely potential setbacks and problems. Let me tell you a secret: It’s possible to love and hate breastfeeding at the same time. (Kinda like motherhood in general… it's the best worst thing.)
1. Your relationship with your nipples totally changes, and it’s weird.
The weirdest part of breastfeeding, in my case, was the nipple transition. You know: How one day your nipples are your favorite erogenous zone and the next they’re an all-you-can-eat buffet for a little human. No one prepares you for the awkwardness of telling your brain that it's not your husband touching your boobs anymore. Why don't we talk about this stuff?
2. Latching sucks (yeah, pun intended).
Likely one of the first challenges you will experience on your journey is the fight to latch. For me, that battle lasted over a month. I think it's because the entire process is kinda freaking awkward, especially for first-timers. I mean, you’re trying to force your nipple into a baby's mouth and doing your best to support their big wobbly head. Imagine if a stranger you’d just met and didn’t understand tried to shove their nipple in your mouth. I don’t know about you, but I’d resist too! For some, the first latch is a breeze, but if you struggle, don’t get discouraged. We got more than a year and a half of success after that first difficult month.
3. It'll probably hurt sooner or later.
While it wasn’t an issue in my journey, I hear lots of moms deal with biting from time to time. Some moms have nipple pain in the beginning; typically, early stage pain is caused by a bad latch. So if you find yourself in that predicament, there's totally help for this.
4. Your wardrobe is going to go through a lot.
After you successfully trick your kid into eating, the rest might be a breeze. A slight lip tie wasn't enough to slow our flow, but the next challenge was there before we knew what hit us: shirt wetting. To be fair, I was warned about that one. I even bought nursing pads in anticipation. But let's be real, as a new mom getting used to the roller-coaster of parenting, you don’t always do what you know you should. I didn't have time to think about no stinking breast pads. I would come to regret that.
The letdown sensation is one of the weirdest parts of breastfeeding. There you are, minding your own business, and suddenly, you get this bizarre boob tingle. And then... oh sh*t. Of course, had you used the nursing pads you'd purchased and left at home, you wouldn’t have to pace through public places like you’d won the world’s weirdest wet t-shirt contest.
Sadly, no matter how many times I experienced this sensation, it was not enough for me to proactively use the nursing pads. I paid for that decision with my dignity, over and over again. I wet all kinds of clothes in all sorts of places. Learn from my mistakes and be prepared.
5. Your breasts are totally going to change (and it’s OK to be really sad about it).
For me, the worst part of breastfeeding was when it was over. Before pregnancy, I was a small C cup. But by 20 weeks, my boobs were huge, and all of the struggles seemed worth it. The fun new size even stuck around for the first few months of breastfeeding.
But alas, once my milk regulated, my beautiful new grapefruits shrank. And worse, as the months passed, they transformed into something I can only describe as bags of sand. I was sad all the time. Everyone around me thought I was mourning the end of breastfeeding. Nah. I was just mourning the loss of great boobs.
6. It can be so hard to juggle with your work schedule.
If this sounds like A LOT to deal with if you’re employed, you’re right. I was lucky to delay working until we had the milk thing under control, but many of my friends juggled breastfeeding and working.
If you find yourself bringing home the breastmilk and the bacon, you’re gonna have to do some pre-planning. Your pump will be your best friend and your worst nightmare. A friend of mine coped by pumping at work and between meals, which was hard but worth it for her.
Breasting is a weird mix of beautiful and horrific moments. It doesn’t make you a better mom than those who choose to bottle feed, but it does give you an amazing motherhood experience. I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to breastfeed my son. I hope it’s great for you too.
A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez is a diversity content specialist who produces materials relating to mental and physical health, sociology, and parenting. Her work can be seen on several national platforms. Check her out on Facebook and Twitter.from Greatist RSS https://ift.tt/2ruIbgk
Giving Up Breastfeeding Made Me a Better Mom. Here's Why
I expected that pregnancy would change my body. I was prepared to give up alcohol, sushi, and high heels. I didn’t expect that I'd have to change my antidepressant. It felt like such a part of my daily existence, it never occurred to me that it would be another sacrifice to The Baby—until my doctor lowered the boom. I would have to drop the drug I’d taken for the past three years, the one that finally, finally worked to relieve the persistent depression I’d wrestled with intermittently throughout my life.
It was much worse than giving up sushi.
Wellbutrin, my obstetrician explained—seeming far less concerned about this than I felt was appropriate—was not tested during pregnancy. I’d have to go with something that had a longer track record. It was time to become reacquainted with my old nemesis, Prozac. The one that nullified the depression but also steamrollered absolutely everything else in its wake and left me feeling blank.
Along with all the other changes taking place—the zinging hormones, the growing awareness that I was going to be legitimately responsible for the growth and wellness of another human being—the reintroduction of Prozac felt like replacing a finely honed blade with a chainsaw.
This is where I’m supposed to say that then the baby was born and none of that mattered, that I was so ecstatic over my new motherhood that my depression was vanquished, and the entirety of my son’s infancy was draped in gauzy, rosy joy. But that would be a bold-faced lie. My belly was still distended—I looked pregnant for months after delivery—but now it also sported a row of super-hot staples. My son had no interest in sleeping… and then there was the nursing.
Nursing came surprisingly easy for me; we got going without too much frustration and, while it felt like I was constantly feeding my kid, I was OK. I reassured myself that this was one part of being a mother that I was handling just fine. Of course, there was even less sleep, and my nipples cracked and bled.
But then I received the news that the great Wellbutrin ban wasn’t over—not even close. Apparently, it also hadn’t been proven safe while nursing, so I had to continue fending off the depression demons with a chainsaw. A chainsaw that I can only assume was made by Fisher Price.
So I conceded to pumping and bottle-feeding. Sleep was at such a premium already, there was no way I was going to sacrifice it entirely. I pumped so my husband could do some of the dark early morning feedings. Sometimes I still hear my very own version of Clarice Starling’s lambs—the monotonous drone of the pump that provided the background noise: waaaaah-wah, waaaaah-wah, the perfect counterpoint to the numbing Prozac. And still, I worried: Even though it had been battle-tested on lots of other moms and babies, what if I was somehow hurting my son? But I kept taking it. I knew that it was better than not.
People have so many helpful suggestions when you have a baby: how to get them to sleep, how to stop teething pain... they also want to offer lots (and lots) of well-intentioned ideas about breastfeeding. How long to nurse, how often, the best position, public or private, what to eat and what to avoid, whether it’s necessary to "pump and dump," on and on and on.
I had to care for myself first, securing the oxygen firmly over my nose and mouth, so that I could keep going until the world leveled out again.
There were the people who continually asked me how long I planned to keep going, like I was going to get merit badges for length of service.
There was the person (not a mother herself—in fact, she was a nun) who vehemently informed me just how important breastfeeding was for the baby—the longer, the better—and how damaging it would be to cut this short.
There was the person who talked about the evils of formula. And the one who said that babies wouldn’t bond without nursing.
I was poorly medicated, sleep-deprived, scarred outside and in, and ready to say that something had to give. At this point, I realized that if I kept going the way I had been, I couldn't be the mother I needed to be. The chainsaw medication, the pump that makes me feel like a cow, everyone telling me I’m not doing it right... screw it. The milk train doesn’t stop here anymore, I decided.
So I went back on the meds that helped to take away just the depression, rather than the world. Everything seemed a little brighter and more manageable. I breathed a guilty sigh of relief.
And you know what? My son is fine, despite his truncated access to my boob. Actually, both my kids are: I went through the same routine with my second son, but the second time—as with so many aspects of parenting—I had a better idea of what to expect. Not the least of which was that I would need to care for myself first, securing the oxygen firmly over my nose and mouth, so that I could keep going until the world leveled out again and I was able to land.
Madeleine Deliee recently wrote about the new Doctor Who, visiting the Anne Frank House, dystopic Young Adult literature, and Wonder Woman’s alcoholism. She likes to keep 'em guessing and occasionally tweets @MMDeliee.
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If Your Insomnia Makes You Feel Panicky, You're Not Alone
There are few situations quite as frustrating as going through your whole day in a state of exhaustion, only to find yourself completely wide awake at bedtime—a state of affairs that gets only worse when trying to fall asleep also makes you anxious.
Anyone who has struggled to drift off knows that when you're staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., the thoughts that pop into your head tend to be anything but rosy. You might start off considering something as innocuous as your to-do list for the next day, but even this can quickly spiral into concerns about your wildest fears, embarrassing memories that no one else possibly cares about or remembers, and terrifying hypotheticals.
Your brain doesn't care that you're safe in your bedroom under your coziest blanket—it's busy hanging out in crisis mode over random worries in your waking life.
What's insomnia panic really like—and how normal is it?
"Generally what we see is the person attempting to go to sleep, then they begin to ruminate about what they have to do tomorrow, or what they didn't get done today," says Ginger Poag, MSW, LCSW, licensed therapist at Brentwood Wellness Counseling in Nashville, Tennessee.
"This can lead to the frantic thoughts, increased heart rate, and difficulty breathing. It's a vicious cycle—because of the rumination they don't sleep, and the lack of sleep makes everything feel worse, and then the person becomes anxious and fearful that they will not sleep another night, and then the cycle starts all over again."
Sound familiar? That lack of sleep can increase your susceptibility to anxiety, which just makes you that much more likely to struggle with the same symptoms again the next night.
According to the Sleep Health Foundation, about one in three people have at least some form of insomnia, which is defined as a regular difficulty in falling or staying asleep. Panic symptoms, like a racing heart and difficulty breathing, are a separate issue—but it's not uncommon for them to show up alongside insomnia. Panic and anxiety can be terrifying, but they're treatable, and understanding where they come from is a good first step.
Why is this even happening?
If you've got more responsibilities than you can count, you're more likely to experience panic symptoms as you attempt to juggle it all. Women are particularly susceptible.
"I often see panic issues in clients who are very strong and prone to placing a lot on their shoulders," says Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D., L.P., a licensed psychologist and assistant director of the Center for Discovery. "In a sense, they are asking their minds and bodies to hold an incredible amount—without an opportunity to release it."
According to Latimer, this phenomenon is why panic and anxiety often show up when our guard is down—like when we're trying to fall asleep. "Before clients understand that, they often get scared because it seems so counterintuitive to feel panic in times of relaxation," Latimer says. "However, knowing that we can predict the panic in itself gives it less power and makes it easier to control in a healthy way."
When panic and insomnia show up together, it can be tough to define the relationship between the two. Sometimes, anxiety is part of the cause of your insomnia. Other times, anxiety and panic show up as a result of the insomnia-induced exhaustion you're feeling.
So what can you do about it?
Seeing a medical professional is an important step in feeling better, but there are also some practices you can try at home in tandem, like developing mindfulness habits.
"Panic is often based in the shame and blame of the past or worries of the future," Latimer says. "Basically, anywhere but the present moment. Simple mindfulness practices, which focus a person on the here-and-now, are incredibly effective at reducing anxiety symptoms."
Practice letting your thoughts just be, rather than engaging with them. "I suggest not fighting the thoughts, but focusing on your breathing to help center yourself," says Robert Goldman, a New York-based psychiatrist. "Fill your belly with air, hold it for two seconds, then exhale. This is called diaphragmatic breathing and has been proven to reduce anxiety and relax you at the same time."
Also try to practice good sleep hygiene. You've heard this advice a million times before, but that's because it can really make a difference: Avoid looking at glowing screens before bed, exercise earlier in the day rather than later, and keep work assignments out of the bedroom.
Another easy trick is to keep a notebook and pen next to your bed to capture late-night thoughts. "I teach my patients to write down their thoughts or concerns as they present in their minds," says S. Frances Robbins, MSN, PMHNP, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and author of The Complete Insomniac's Workbook to Restorative Sleep. "Having a place to dump their thoughts allows their brains to rest. The notepad will be there in the morning and can be reviewed then."
So the good news is that these symptoms aren't a life sentence—you can feel better with proper care. "Insomnia and anxiety are treatable; they are not a character flaw or a problem that can be ignored," Robbins says.
When you work with a doctor or therapist, you can get to the root of the issues and find a treatment method that works for you—and you'll get started on a path toward the good night's sleep you deserve.
Claire Hannum is an NYC-based writer, editor, and traveler.
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Neuroplasticity: How to Improve It?
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3 Easy Ways to Feel Like You Have More Time
People often blame their lack of commitment to their health on how busy they are.
We're all busy. But when we give up on our health, we do so because we're feeling overwhelmed, not because we're busy. Instead of letting "my life is so crazy right now" be your default, how about reframing it: "I have too much going on to feel my best as often as possible."
How you feel impacts every aspect of life. When you realize the power of taking care of yourself, you're at a significant advantage—and you'll find that it's easier to handle everything else. Whenever someone tells me they're overwhelmed and stressed, I always encourage them to double down on foundational things like eating well, exercising, and sleeping. After all, health is the ultimate productivity tool—it's much harder to be efficient without a healthy mind and body.
Too often, we give up what we're most in control of—like eating, exercise, and sleep—when we're stressed. But that only perpetuates our feelings of powerlessness.
If you focus on your health when you're stressed out, you'll snap back to feeling more in control and less overwhelmed. But sadly, guess what happens when I check in with clients who quit my weight-loss program too soon because they had so much going on and life was "crazy?" (When is life ever not crazy?) They still feel out of control and overwhelmed.
Here are some simple ways to avoid that feeling—and to actually accomplish what we want while staying healthy.
1. Allow yourself to win the day.
Personally, I used to put a lot of pressure on myself in school. I felt like I could always be doing more, and I was always happiest after an exam because I finally felt like I could relax for a bit. It's why I couldn't wait to get into the working world so that when I was done with work for the day, I was done with work for the day.
But that's not really how it works now, right? Living in a hyperconnected world is like being in school 24/7. We can always be doing more—and that feeling can drive you crazy. If you give into it, you'll always feel overwhelmed.
Here's what I've been doing for many years to combat this issue. (It's helped a lot of other people, as well.) I allow myself to win the day. What does that mean? People beat themselves up for not doing more for their business, their side hustle, their health. But this focus on perfection often stops them from doing anything at all.
"Winning the day" simply means that I get done what I set out to do. I can rest easy and without guilt. How many times have you really relaxed while thinking about all of the things you "should" be doing? You can't. It's an awful feeling.
2. Pick 3-5 things you want to get done.
My solution is simple: Every night, I write down the 3-5 things I plan to get done for the next day. If I get those things done, I'll feel accomplished. I'll be able to rest easy. It's important to give ourselves the ability to feel accomplished for the day, instead of guilty for all that we didn't do.
The ultimate productivity tool is health.
"But I have so much to do," you might say. "Three-to-five things a day just isn't enough." The interesting thing is that the people who say this usually aren't accomplishing anything meaningful because—you guessed it—they're so overwhelmed.
I'm talking about three-to-five things that matter or move the needle on something that does.
The reality is: There are a billion things we can do every day. We're never going to get to the bottom of our to-do list in work—or life—ever. But you still have to relax and take care of yourself, or you won't accomplish any of them.
3. Write it down.
One good tactic to simplify your life and declutter your mind: Write everything down. I believe that our mind is designed to think of new things, not the same things over and over. If a task needs to get done, or I think of something important, I immediately write it down—otherwise, it takes up precious mental energy.
Pinterest founder Ben Silbermann recently gave this advice to entrepreneurs:
"Working all the time at the expense of your health is not a good strategy because if you're actually going to go after something for a long time as an entrepreneur, having your health intact turns out to be really important. And a lot of the folks who have burned out did so not because they ran out of money. They burned out because they became really unhealthy."
It turns out that focusing on your health will not only help your business and work—Silbermann's advice doesn't only apply to entrepreneurs—but can also help you feel less overwhelmed in life generally. When we're stressed and overwhelmed, it's harder to take care of ourselves.
Everything impacts everything. When we're feeling good, it's easier to be healthy. When we're healthy, it's easier to feel good.
Adam Gilbert is the founder of MyBodyTutor.com, an online program that solves the lack of consistency faced by chronic dieters. Sign up for his free mini-course on weight loss, and follow Adam on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
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Yes, Organic Eye Makeup Can Be Bright and Beautiful—Here Are Our Top Picks
When you picture a face made up with organic, eco-friendly, cruelty-free cosmetics, you may imagine "no-makeup" makeup in colors about as exciting as a bowl of oatmeal. When it comes to cosmetics, it often feels like we're tasked with choosing between makeup that's good for us and makeup that comes in fun, trendy colors—and the myth that organic makeup has to be bland is especially strong when it comes to eyeshadows.
But there are plenty of beauty brands out there making bright eye makeup using organic, eco-friendly, formulas that aren't tested on animals. Here's a complete guide to finding the best organic makeup for bright eyes.
Prime Time
To make sure your eye makeup looks as great on your lids as it does in the package, it's important to start with a primer, says eco makeup artist Sally Biondo. Eye primers are usually sold in gel-like formulas and are slightly tackier than face primers. They ensure eye makeup goes on smooth, stays bright, and lasts all day.
"Using a primer on your eyes and face really does make a difference with longevity and keeping the pigment true to its natural color," Biondo says.
But when choosing a shadow primer, it's important to look for formulas without parabens, which are sometimes used as preservatives in cosmetics, and could possibly be toxic.
Biondo has a couple of go-to brands for eye makeup primers that keep eye makeup brighter longer. "My top two favorites are Mattifying Primer by Mineral Fusion for the face and Jane Iredale Smooth Affair Primer for eyes," she says. "I'm in love with Sheer Champagne!"
These primers are gluten-, paraben-, and cruelty-free, as well as vegan, so you can feel as confident about the safety of your primer as you do about your long-lasting eye looks.
Line Up—Organically
A smoky eye is the little black dress of eye makeup—it makes any look feel more dressed-up and adds drama to otherwise simple makeup looks.
To get a naturally smoky eye, Biondo loves Hynt Beauty Forte High Definition Eyeliner. "It instantly gives you an enhanced look, it's extremely long-lasting, and a thin line on the top of your lash line will open up the eyes," Biondo says.
And if you're looking for a liner with a little more pop but still want an organic, vegan, and cruelty-free option, Inika makes bold colors like green, purple, and blue eyeliner that create incredibly dramatic looks.
Go Bold
If you're a makeup tutorial addict, you've probably watched dozens of videos showing you how to best rock a bright, bold eye. Unfortunately, it can be hard to re-create those looks with highly pigmented, rich eye color that's also organic.
One brand that delivers highly pigmented, Instagram-worthy eye looks using naturally occurring ingredients is 100% Pure. The brand is fruit pigmented and relies on natural ingredients to ensure its makeup is as pure as it is pretty.
Another brand that offers eyeshadow in bright, quirky shades that takes its color cues from nature: Ecco Bella. The shadows are gluten-free and vegan, and Ecco Bella also has bold colors for bright eyes, like Celestial, a sunny yellow, or Smoky Mauve for a sultry look.
Bright shadows can work with any eye color, says Fawn Monique, whose work has appeared on the runways at New York Fashion Week.
"If you want your eye color to pop, use a complementary color, such as orange or copper, with blue eyes. Or if you have flecks of gold in your eyes, purple or violet will enhance that," Monique says.
Guilt-Free Glitter
It's a real bummer that glitter is terrible for the environment. Most glitter is made up of little bitty pieces of plastic that often end up in oceans, poisoning our aquatic friends. Luckily, there are some eco-friendly glitters out there that can keep you sparkling without the guilt.
"I love the bio glitter from Universal Soul because it doesn't harm our waters and is plant-based," Monique says. The brand makes biodegradable glitter derived from eucalyptus trees in fun, bright colors in a variety of textures, from fine to chunky.
Shine On
Shimmery shadows often rely on mica, a mineral dust, to bring the glitter. But mica is also the stuff that makes cement glitter, and workers exposed to mica for long periods of time have reported respiratory problems. And while you're probably not snorting your eyeshadow, it might not be great to smear potentially harmful ingredients onto your eyes.
Another concerning ingredient sometimes found in eyeshadow is titanium dioxide, which is a fine white powder often used in cosmetics for it opaque brightness. Some studies have found titanium dioxide to be toxic in lab animals, and although titanium dioxide hasn't been proven to penetrate healthy skin when applied topically, many beauty lovers are reconsidering how widely used it is in products.
Omiana is an organic cosmetics brand that creates naturally bright eyeshadows without mica or titanium dioxide but still has fun colors, like richly pigmented purple and bright blue shadow—and its shimmery bronzers can also double as brow or inner corner highlighters.
Get Thicker Lashes
Mascara is probably the most important element for an eye that pops. However, the ingredients that have kept mascara long-lasting and deeply pigmented have traditionally included parabens.
But there are many brands working to create organic mascaras that keep you looking bright-eyed and awake. One of Biondo's favorites is Rejuva Minerals Mega Lash Mascara.
"It coats the lash line so beautifully, and this product will open up your eyes instantly," she says. Rejuva is also organic, gluten-free, and vegan, darkening lashes without using parabens as preservatives.
It takes a little bit of work to stay stylish using only organic beauty products since it's often difficult to find them walking down the aisle of the corner drugstore. However, it's totally possible (and worth it) to achieve bright, fun eyeshadow looks while still staying eco- and animal-friendly.
Emily Alford lives in Brooklyn, NY, and writes about beauty, food, and TV. Sometimes all at once. Follow her on Twitter @AlfordAlice.
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Effective Ways To Lose Weight With Fat Burning Foods
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