A Simple Charcuterie Board That Will Impress Guests Without Stressing You Out

This article is sponsored by Daisy Cottage Cheese.

The easiest way to be a rockstar host? Put out a killer charcuterie plate. It's the perfect party food: It can be prepped ahead of time, is easily customizable, and looks super 'grammable.

But with so many ingredients to choose from, putting one together can get overwhelming. That's why we tapped Heartbeet Kitchen's Amanda Paa. She's a pro at serving up insanely delicious, healthy recipes, and this charcuterie board she created for us is one we're going to make over and over and over again.



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7 Summer Grilling Recipes That Get Extra Creative

Is Running Outside Really Better Than Miles on the Treadmill?

It's a debate that's been going on for years: Is it better to run on the treadmill or stick to the great outdoors? While there are some people who will defend one side over the other with cult-like loyalty, most runners have finally realized that both indoor and outdoor exercise are critical to a well-rounded routine.

"It's like asking which fruit is better for you," says Rebecca Kennedy, a master instructor at Peloton Tread. "They all have their own unique benefits!"

That's why the real question isn't what's better overall but what could work best for you right now? Your goals can differ, and your running should too. So rather than choosing one over the other, it's better to know the benefits and drawbacks to both forms, then opt for the running style that's the perfect fit for you right here, right now. Here's what you need to know when choosing where to log those miles.

Why the Treadmill Rocks

It's lower impact.

Runners tend to have lower stride lengths and higher stride rates on a treadmill compared to running outside, and research from the journal Sports Health found that can translate to less impact on weight-bearing joints (ankles, knees, hips). But that study was conducted in 2014—now, slat-belt treadmills are on the scene (in both Woodway machines and the new Peloton Tread), and those provide even more cushion.

EDITOR'S PICK

Also, as a side note, the whole "running is bad for your knees" argument is ready to be put to rest: A recent study in Arthritis Care & Research analyzed more than 2,500 people's exercise habits throughout their lifetime and found that those who reported running on a regular basis were less likely to report frequent knee pain or have symptoms of osteoarthritis compared to non-runners.

You'll probably burn more calories.

There are a lot of factors that determine whether you'll burn more calories indoor or out—what type of run you're doing and for how long, for starters. But, on average, Siik says it's likely that you'll torch more on the tread. "Because many people are now interval training on a treadmill, there's a much higher level of focus and workload, and they are seeing a much bigger calorie burn," he says.

That said, if a high-calorie burn is your main goal, outdoor runs shouldn't be completely dismissed. Wind and resistance can force you to work harder, and your body burns extra calories to regulate body temperature when you're out in hot or cold weather. "Outdoor running also forces your legs to create turnover and use the ground as resistance, which is harder than tackling miles on a moving belt," Kennedy says. The trick is to make sure these variables don't impact your pace. "If you slow down because of them, then the tread wins."

It's efficient and effective.

If you don't have a ton of time to sweat, the tread wins. Not only is it easy—simply hop on and press start—it's also completely under your control. Plus, you don't have to think about all the changing variables that outdoor running can present, like getting stuck at crosswalk after crosswalk.

There's zero concern about weather.

When you hit the trails, road, or track, weather is something you always have to think about and prepare for.

"In the summer, you need to run outdoors when it's not as hot and the sun isn't directly overhead. And in the winter, it's best to get out there when the sun is out," Kennedy says. All of that goes away on the treadmill—hello, flexibility!

By the way, if it is crappy outside, you're not more of a "badass" runner by forcing yourself to stay outside. "There's always good weather indoors!" says Kennedy.

There's less risk of injury.

Yes, you could fly off the back of the treadmill, but that's why the little red safety clip is there (yep, you really should use it). And, well, no such clip exists when you run outdoors, where the odds of getting hurt go up, says David Siik, program and content director of Precision Running at Equinox. "Outdoors pose the risk of getting hit by a car, rolling an ankle on uneven ground, even causing sun damage (people often forget this can be an issue)," he explains.

Something else to consider is how safe you feel while running alone. "If you need to do your workouts before the sun comes up or after it sets, and you don't feel comfortable running outside, the tread is the best pivot," notes Kennedy.

There's easy access to help.

If you run at a gym, there are constantly trainers, first-aid kits, and staff members on hand in case something goes awry. Plus, there's quick access to water (that you don't have to carry), which isn't always feasible for outdoor runners.

Why the Outdoors Are Amazing

You can still go low impact.

Yes, treadmills have less impact than most surfaces found outdoors, but that doesn't mean you can't have a low-impact run outside. Light-colored concrete is the hardest to run on, Siik says, so avoid that whenever possible. "If you can, opt for a dirt trail, short grass, the beach, or your local high school track to reduce impact," he explains. "Even blacktop is softer than sidewalk concrete, especially when the sun warms the tars and oils and creates a softer surface."

It can support better bone growth.

The softer surface of a treadmill produces less impact on bones and connective tissue, but that also means you won't stimulate quite as much bone growth. Over time, a lack of bone growth could result in injury due to bone loss, which is what happens when old bone is broken down faster than new bone is made.

That said, running on a treadmill doesn't mean all of these things are going to happen. Exercise helps stimulate new bone growth regardless, but the outdoors may have a slight edge in this category thanks to harder surfaces.

And your butt can get stronger.

Siik suggests that unless you're on a self-powered treadmill, you're probably not recruiting your hamstring muscles as much as you would outdoors. That's because the ground is already moving underneath you, and every time your foot lands in front of you, the treadmill belt brings it back—an action that your hammies and glutes are usually in charge of. When you're outside, those muscles don't get a break—meaning you'll build that booty faster.

EDITOR'S PICK

... as will your lateral movement.

Runners are notorious for having weak lateral muscles because running predominantly requires you to move in one direction—forward. That's even more prevalent in treadmill-only runners, as there's never any change in direction. But if you head outside, Siik says you'll naturally work in sideways movement when you turn and move around unexpected objects. Another benefit: Lateral movement improves coordination skills and helps build stability around the ankles and feet, adds Siik.

You'll reap more mental benefits.

You can't breathe in fresh air, feel a gentle breeze blow through your hair, or bask in the sun warming your skin when you run on the treadmill, but being in nature can contribute to a better state of mind. Research from the University of Exeter found that when people hit the open road, they experience a greater energy boost, along with a drop in tension, anger, and depression—compared to an indoor run.

You learn to adapt.

"Outdoor running conditions the body to make unexpected physical changes, like stepping over a curb, turning a hard left, or maneuvering around people," Siik says. "These things are important to keep a strong and stable body."

Kennedy says that if you're training for a race, outdoor running also prepares you—both mentally and physically—for elements that are out of your control. Constantly changing terrain and weather can have a big impact on your mental game come race day, but if you prepare for them with outdoor training runs, they're less likely to throw you off when it counts.

Samantha Lefave is a freelance writer who is living, eating, and sweating her way around the world. You can find her Instagramming her favorite destinations, squeezing a Friends quote into every conversation she can or—when there's downtime—eating peanut butter straight from the jar.



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Learn to Talk Dirty Without Wanting to Die

While talking dirty seems to come easily to some people, for the rest of us, it can feel (extremely) awkward and unnatural—especially when we first get started. As with any other sexual situation, nobody should do something if it makes them feel genuinely uncomfortable, but if you're simply curious but nervous, here are some excellent ways to ease into a whole new form of conversation.

Start Slowly...

"These things take practice!" says sexual health advocate, director, and adult film performer Jessica Drake. "Moans are great, followed by things like, 'Yesssss… and 'right there,' or 'lower!' Drake says what works best here is to use phrases and terminology that are part of your normal vocabulary—just emphasize their sexiness.

"Describe something your partner is doing in that moment," she says. "For instance, 'I love it when you ________' and 'Your ______ is so ______!' It's like adult Mad Libs!"

It can also be fun to use all the dirty words that pop into your mind when you fantasize. "If there was ever a time for the F-word, it's now," Drake says. "Even if you breathe it softly in your lover's ear, it can have a big impact."

... Even Quietly

Building from a slow burn also applies to tone of voice, which is so important when talking dirty. "Nobody wants to be screamed at by a drill sergeant when you're getting down to business (unless you're into that sort of thing!)" says Miss Fox UK, who works professionally talking dirty on the iWantPhone.com platform. "Try talking really slowly and sensually, whispering naughty words into your partner's ear, and accentuating words like 'hard,' 'wet,' and 'lips.' That will really get your partner going!" she says.

EDITOR'S PICK

Or Go Solo to Start

"You need to get used to saying the words, feeling them roll off your tongue, hearing them come out of your mouth," says Laurel House, dating coach and resident sexpert for My First Blush. "One way to get into this is to dirty-talk to yourself out loud when you masturbate. Get comfortable with it. Then start slowly dropping in a statement or asking a question in the dirty-talk style while having sex," she says. Don't pressure yourself too much—you don't need to go full throttle and talk throughout your entire sex session, after all.

Remember That Nobody's Recording This

"Find absolute solace in the fact that nobody will ever hear you utter these words again," says fetish model and adult performer Allie Eve Knox. "So no matter how bad you are at this, nobody is going to play back that one time you described that very dirty experience."

Let Them Take the Lead

If you're really uncomfortable exchanging dirty talk with your partner, then ease into it by mirroring their tone. Simple commentary like, "Mmmm that's making me so hot/hard/wet," can keep things spicy and moving along well. "Shorter is better—especially as you expand your comfort zone," says Antonia Hall, M.A., psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. If you ask complicated questions that force your partner to have to stop and think, it could actually break the flow and mood.

"If you want some inspiration, try reading erotica," she says. "Or if you're feeling especially brave, read it to your partner as foreplay and let things unfold from there."

Eye Contact, Eye Contact, Eye Contact

"If you want to know if what you're saying is having its desired effect, don't be afraid to look your partner dead in the eye as you speak those seductive words," Fox says. "But make sure you're not looking like a deer in headlights—be relaxed and confident with what you say."

Ask for What You Want

If there's something you've been dreaming about, put it into words and ask for what you've been craving. "This can amp up the action in the form of requests," Drake says, suggesting options like, "Spank me!" (if you're into that) "Bend me over and _____," or "Do you want to ______ my _______?"

There's nothing off-limits as long as it's true to who you and your partner are. "I think to be able to talk dirty in bed starts with you being comfortable in your own skin," says adult star Daizha Morgann. Be vocal—and genuine.

"Do not, under any circumstances, put on an elaborate fake act—your partner will sense it and question their ability to really make you feel good," Morgann says. You don't need to play any role when hitting the sheets. Be you—just a more amplified, fearless-with-your-words version of yourself. If you're normally the kind of person who says "darn it," when you stub your toe, don't feel pressure to be over-the-top vulgar in bed.

Don't Overthink It

Don't think too much—just go with the flow and say what's on your mind. "Tell your partner how much they are turning you on, how good that thrusting is feeling, how hot their body is, and how naughty they are making you feel," Morgann says.

"The biggest sex rant I hear from both my male and female followers is about the dreaded 'silent sex.' Sex should be a time to really let loose—physically and mentally! Start slow when gearing up for dirty talk, with moaning and playful small talk, and you'll really get to know a side of yourself that has been dying to come out."

Expand the Scene

Talking dirty isn't just for the bedroom. What better way to get your partner all amped up than to send a few dirty text messages during the day? The classics are classic for a reason, Fox says. "Telling them what you'll be wearing and what you want to do to them when you get home never fails to have its desired effect," she says. Just make sure you're messaging the right person before you hit send!

Build Your Way Up

Dirty talk is most successful when you create imagery so vivid that your fantasies feel real and in the moment. Details and description can help you get there. "Overly describe every single step you would take, from eyeing them across the room, to undressing your partner, to the sexy things you want to be doing to them tonight," Knox says. Describe all five senses you want to experience: what their body smells like, tastes like, etc. And then, just let go.

To up your game even further, Drake suggests watching an adult movie together and providing commentary while you do—then ask your partner if you'd like it if you perform the acts you're watching on them.

Most Importantly: Don't Stress

The whole point of dirty talk is to have fun. "Sex is fun, awkward, hot, messy, funny, and everything in-between. If you say the wrong words or talking too dirty just feels cheesy to you, laugh it off and keep going," Drake says.

Aly Walansky is a New York-based lifestyles writer. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @alywalansky.



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How to Become a Peak Performer All Throughout the Day

Do you feel stressed out, unable to focus on chores at home or projects at work? Do you feel lethargic without energy? Fear not - you can easily turn that around. This article gives you several viewpoints so that you can actually transform yourself to be a peak performer all throughout the day tirelessly. Look inside to find out.

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Weight Loss Versus Weight Gain

In the last few weeks my sudden heart attack sent me into the cardiology ward of the local hospital. Although thinking my body was generally healthy and because I do not take in sugar or salt I was somewhat amazed at the food served in the ward. Much of what I had excluded from my diet was presented to me on the tray for lunch and dinner over the course of the first day.

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What You've Always Wanted to Know About Supplements

Not a day goes by when I don’t see an article claiming some new supplement will change my life. Take this for better sleep! Try that for less anxiety! This is definitely missing from your morning routine. This little pill fixed that crazy-famous celebrity’s super-relatable problem. Trade in everything and try this single supplement superhero!

Is your head spinning yet? Mine is. And my pantry is overflowing with so many tinctures, powders, and cure-all pills that I could honestly open my own holistic pharmacy. From digestive aids to stress reducers to sleep inducers to who the heck knows what that is or what it’s for, there’s no shortage of supplements that can supposedly help with, well, everything.

While it’s important to get to know supplements and what they’re really good for (PSA: don’t believe everything you read), there’s another burning question that’s always on my mind: What’s the best way to take supplements in the first place?

Sure, popping pills is fast and convenient. And yes, mixing powders with smoothies certainly helps mask less than desirable flavors (cough cough, ashwagandha). But does the way I’m ingesting them really make a difference?

What Are Supplements?

For those who have yet to go buck wild adding every vitamin, mineral, adaptogen, protein powder, and magic elixir to your Amazon cart, supplements are products aimed at enhancing (also known as supplementing) your diet. From herbs to amino acids to enzymes to everything in-between, they come in various forms, like capsules, tablets, powders, and even energy bars.

Still not ringing a bell?

It’s likely someone recommended vitamin C or echinacea last time you had a cold, or suggested probiotics when you complained about your out-of-whack gut. Ever taken vitamin D when you were SAD? Or fish oil for that healthy heart? What about adding protein powder to your post-workout smoothie? Yep, all supplements.

Should I Be Taking Them?

In 2004, one in 10 adults reported taking herbal supplements. As of 2016, 71 percent of adults in the U.S.—more than 170 million!—reported taking dietary supplements. As people become increasingly interested in optimal health, curiosity about all-natural remedies, healing diets, and other holistic measures has piqued.

And while the best way to fuel your body is with a healthy diet, supplements can be a great way to give yourself a boost. (Read: Supplements should be complementary to a healthy lifestyle, not used as band-aids for not-so-healthy ones.) But the best way to figure out what you need isn’t surfing the internet.

"I recommend two things," says Josh Axe, D.N.M., C.N.S., D.C., and founder of Ancient Nutrition and DrAxe.com. "One, be an advocate for your own health. Do your research on any concerns or conditions you may have so that you understand what may help most."

OK, maybe surfing the internet isn't such a bad idea. Just make sure any "facts" you find are actually that—and that they're backed by science.

"Second, I recommend working with a like-minded medical practitioner," he says. "Your chosen professional should be able to understand the effectiveness and interactions of any supplements you may be (or want to start) taking, and will be able to examine your medical history, symptoms, and any relevant tests to custom-design a supplement program for you, should they suggest you could benefit from it."

That said, consultations and tests don’t come cheap. So if you’re looking to keep things simple, Dr. Axe says that he's seen positive results when people take the following supplement staples. But as always, check with your doctor first before filling your shopping cart:

Where Do I Buy Them?

If you’ve ever wandered down the aisles of health foods stores in search of a supplement, you know how overwhelming it can be. Tinctures, tablets, powders, capsules… all with varying doses, sold by countless brands, with prices all over the board, and mixed into so many combos that you end up cross-eyed. I often leave with several bottles and jars and more confused (and broke) than ever.

And it's not just me. Even health professionals find picking the right supplement tricky.

“This is one of the hardest things to tackle," says Tara Coleman, a clinical nutritionist who started her career as a chemist in the biopharmaceutical industry. "Supplement companies are regulated as food rather than drugs so they don’t follow the same rigorous testing and verification that our pharmaceuticals do."

Case in point: A review done by Vox in 2016 showed that more than 850 dietary supplements contained illegal and/or hidden ingredients. Gulp. These included banned drugs, pharmaceuticals like anti-depressants, and other chemicals that have never been tested on humans. Double gulp.

While I’m not convinced we should abandon supplements entirely, I am convinced that buying them from a reputable company is the best way to ensure supplement safety—and effectiveness.

"Products that are available at reputable retail locations (Whole Foods, for example) will often go through a rigorous compliance review," Dr. Axe says. "Products with outside certifications (like USDA certified organic) would also go through more testing. I like to give Whole Foods as a baseline because its standards for manufactured supplements are even stricter than the FDA’s."

As for online shopping... not so much.

"I would be concerned about products available only online (either through the company's own website or a marketplace reseller, such as Amazon) or late-night infomercial products," Dr. Axe adds. "These tend to have the most issues with quality, compliance, and adulteration."

Another pro tip: Look for third-party verification, which is a stamp of approval from a company with expertise in quality assessment that is not associated with the manufacturer. Good ones to look for include United States Pharmacopeia (USP), NSF International, and Consumer Lab.

"Companies that choose to put themselves through additional testing to prove the quality or potency do so at their own expense," Coleman says. "Typically this is a sign of integrity and transparency and speaks highly of the company."

As for the way we take them, that’s a little simpler—and less scary. (Phew.)

The Best Way to Take Supplements

I love adding powders to smoothies and lattes, will occasionally (and begrudgingly) down a tincture, and have been known to swallow up to 10 pills at once (don't worry, just herbal). My choices have mostly been based on flavor and convenience and less so because I thought the way I consumed them actually mattered.

Does it?

“As a rule of thumb, the order of bioavailability (meaning your body can actually use it) typically goes liquid or tincture, powder, and then capsules,” Coleman says.

But there doesn't seem to be a huge—or scientifically proven—difference.

"Many sources claim that a liquid-based supplement is the most ideal for absorption, but that type of assumption has yet to be proven," Dr. Axe says. "Typically, how you take a supplement depends on how much your body may need or be able to use. For example, a protein powder scoop would typically have to be divided into 30+ capsules for you to get the same amount in one serving."

Protein powder capsules? Maybe not such a great way to give your body what it needs. But for something like ashwagandha, which is often consumed in small servings (typically no more than a teaspoon) and doesn't have the best taste, capsules are just fine. And considering many supplements require prolonged use to see the benefits, bioavailability may not actually be so important—depending on your needs.

As with most health-related things, it’s also about you assessing your own lifestyle and needs. Not everyone can stomach the bitter taste of tinctures, and similarly, not everyone wants to (or can) swallow numerous pills. In fact, some may not even be able to stomach pills.

"The downside to capsules is that there is a small percentage of people that may not react well to the material that the capsule is made from," Coleman says.

And while the material of supplement capsules—and our ability to digest them—is widely contested, it's something to watch out for (says someone who actually showed signs of inflammation in their stomach, which their gastroenterologist guessed was from all those supplements).

So yes, there are a few things to consider, but really it comes down to—surprise, surprise—you. And once you've picked your poison (slash method of choice), here are few supplemental tips to keep in mind:

  • To help break up clumps—which is a common frustration when using powders—use a blender, milk frother, or shaker bottle (like a Blender Bottle). They're easy, fast, and (almost) lump-free.
  • Mix tinctures with eight ounces of water or a splash of juice to help subdue the flavor. That said, if you’re a 'rip off the band-aid' kind of person, there’s no harm in going straight down the hatch, Coleman says.
  • If you're worried about the material capsules are made from, sprinkle the contents into liquid and drink them instead. (Though Dr. Axe says that modern supplement capsules are more easily digestible and break down within seconds.)
  • With some supplements, what you take them with actually matters. Fat-soluble vitamins, for example, need fat present to be fully absorbed. Vitamin C also helps iron absorb, so they should be taken together. Calcium, on the other hand, can compete with iron, so calcium supplements should be taken a few hours after an iron-rich meal.
  • Additionally, some supplements can negatively interact with medication, making them less effective, and in some cases, even dangerous.
  • Have I mentioned that consulting a health professional is really helpful?

The Takeaway

Unfortunately, supplements simply aren’t that simple. To get the most out of them, you need to understand what they can actually do and how to best integrate them into your life. And because each supplement is different, as is each individual taking it, it's best to get guidance from a health professional as opposed to trusting the internet.

But I know that's easier said than done. So when it comes to supplements, make sure to buy the good stuff—from the brands that make it well—and make sure to thoroughly investigate before popping any pills or sipping any super drinks.



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10 Useful Running Tips for Effective Weight Loss

Running is a great exercise for the mind and body. It is a great way to improve fitness and give your mood a boost. As simple as running can be, as beneficial it is to the body and mind, especially for weight loss, there is a correct way of doing it (that means there are also wrong ways of doing it, wow). The purpose of this article however is to help you understand some important thing you need to know and do for you to do it right.

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15 Whole30 Meal-Prep Recipes to Make Those First Few Weeks a Little Less Scary

Semi-Permanent & Permanent Make-Up Can Save You Time & Effort

Sometimes time is short and we need to look our best quickly, and with the least amount of effort. What could be better than transforming your face, so that you can just wake up in the morning, and leave the house with your makeup already on.

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When Meditation Can Actually Be Dangerous

After my husband ended our marriage over the telephone, I signed up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. I'd been told that practicing this type of meditation, called vipassana, would result in limitless love, compassion, and goodwill. I wanted those things so desperately, I was willing to lie to get in.

Ten days of meditating for nine hours a day without distraction is an objectively grueling journey. But I'd tried therapy, yoga, and sex already, and my heart was still broken. So I didn't mention my past—and besides, I didn't think my history applied.

Years before, I had abused alcohol and drugs, but by the time I signed up for the retreat, I hadn't touched either in a decade. I had tried Paxil and therapy in the years since, but I hadn't experienced anything like what I went through when I was using. Nonetheless, I vowed to be vigilant: If I stopped sleeping well or experienced racing thoughts, I'd leave. It never occurred to me that the practice itself might cause problems.

EDITOR'S PICK

Vipassana meditation focuses on observing bodily sensations without commenting on them. The idea is that when we remove the inner monologue, we can see how our perception of reality, at its most basic level, is a crafted story. But the process of dissolving the personal narrative can be destabilizing and has been known to hurt people as well as help them.

Meditation has a history of problems.

Last year, researchers at Brown University released a study showing that meditators often report feelings of fear, anxiety, panic, and paranoia. This isn't news to experienced meditation teachers, who will readily acknowledge that meditation students often experience bad effects, and say that they are to be expected.

Brown isn't the first to publish research that delves into the potentially problematic nature of meditation. The Buddha Pill: Can Meditation Change You? cites an older study, which suggests that 63 percent of participants in meditation retreats have suffered at least one negative consequence, such as anxiety, confusion, and disorientation.

Of course, there are challenges associated with these kinds of studies, including the self-reported nature of the results, the relatively small number of studies themselves, and external factors, such as the fact that people drawn to contemplative practice are often already in crisis.

But the fact remains that for some, the consequences of intensive meditation can be dire. In June 2018, some 10 weeks after attending a 10-day silent meditation retreat, 25-year-old Megan Vogt killed herself by jumping from a bridge in Pennsylvania near her Maryland home. In the note she left behind, Vogt wrote, "I remember what I did at the retreat. I finally got that memory. I can't live with me."

While the kind of meditation-induced psychosis that Vogt experienced is rare, her story felt familiar. I also had managed to complete my 10-day retreat. And like Megan, the real trouble cropped up afterward as I experienced regular thoughts of suicide, from the more idle what-if-I-just-dropped-into-the-train-tracks to more plan-based thoughts, like where-would-I-find-pills-that-would-really-do-the-job type.

I didn't tell anyone, believing that if I kept meditating, I'd eventually figure out what was wrong with me. Meanwhile, my practice kept me so morbidly fixated on my flaws that I kept finding more.

But there are some very enticing upsides too.

As the Brown study reveals, after fear and panic, "positive affect" is the next most commonly reported sensation meditators experience. And this was true for me too: After the retreat, I had more energy and often felt that I was better able to cope with stressful situations. But my life still wasn't where I wanted it to be; I needed to do something different and remained convinced that I could figure out what was blocking my ability to live life to the fullest through this same form of meditation.

My pratice kept me so morbidly fixated on my flaws that I kept finding more.

So two years after my initial retreat, I went back for another, hoping that a second meditation retreat would simply amplify the positive outcomes I'd experienced. Instead, I just ended up flipping through the same reels of intel about the end of my marriage. Finally, by the end of my second session, I wrote, "I don't hate myself enough to do this to myself."

The world of meditation needs to be better prepared to handle mental health challenges.

Megan Vogt's application for the meditation retreat included the fact that she suffered from anxiety and was on medication, and she even got a doctor's approval to participate. But the organizers of her retreat were aware that Vogt's condition was deteriorating and still didn't send her home.

While devastating, this isn't necessarily surprising news to those who have done retreats. The centers aren't run by trained clinicians but by volunteers who rarely have medical backgrounds. And they've been known to make other horrific mistakes. For instance, Annie Gurton, HG.Dip.P., says she was once barred outright from leaving a vipassana retreat. She calls the organizers "dictatorial" and says that while she was mentally stable at the time, "someone frailer or who had serious mental issues might have found it repressive and abusive. If they were paranoid, it would have fed into those thoughts."

Pain is part of the process.

Despite the prevailing narrative, the truth is that comfort is not the objective of meditation.

"It's natural for meditation, especially mindfulness practice, to arouse anxiety in some people, and this can be a valuable part of a healing process," says Tara Brach, a clinical psychologist and author of Radical Acceptance.

In other words, transformation can be messy. Unlike a trip to the hairdresser, where you take your seat and—with zero effort on your part—are made new, shedding one's metaphorical skin is hard work, a kind of work that isn't always appropriate for people who are handling mental health concerns—at least not the way it's often presented.

"This doesn't only happen to people who are doing intensive retreats," says Willoughby Britton, one of the researchers from Brown. But she doesn't blame the meditators, especially those with a history of trauma. "This is fueling a kind of discrimination that could prevent certain groups from having access to these practices. 'They did it wrong' is just another way of victim-blaming."

We need to stop hyping meditation as a cure-all.

As the juggernaut of wellness rolls forward, the emphasis on the feel-good benefits of meditation has reached ludicrous proportions. Meditation has become so mainstream that Oprah and Deepak Chopra offer a 21-day class, and it's touted as a cure for everything from sleep deprivation to heart disease. I've seen numerous classes advertising that you can "create the life you want through meditation."

The most important thing to realize is that meditation-related anxiety is real and can have devastating consequences.

The idea that meditation can be consumed for your health like a bowl of steamed kale isn't just objectionable, it's damaging. In my experience, not only do different people need different styles of contemplative practice, individual needs vary and can change over time.

More forms of meditation should be offered as positive alternatives.

"Just like finding the right exercise for someone who is physically challenged, it's possible to find a style of meditation practice that serves someone with symptoms of trauma," Brach says.

For years, I'd labored under the assumption that if meditation wasn't making me more successful in life, love, and work, then obviously there was something wrong with me. It was sheer luck that I stumbled onto alternative practices that softened my experience.

One method I've found useful: taking short moments, which is exactly what it sounds like—you just close your eyes for a moment or two to plug into your internal reality. I've found this to be not only freeing, but effective, and it's similar to other types of meditation practice, including visualization (where you draw something in your mind's eye) and chanting (where you repeat a phrase).

I began incorporating these techniques and more. These days, I've learned the value in changing up my practice rather than feeling miserable. If the main thing I feel when I sit down to meditate is anxiety, I'll go in a different direction. I'll focus on breathing exercises, I might take a mindful walk, or I might listen to a guided meditation (Tara Brach's website offers several).

There is no style of meditation that's guaranteed to resolve specific trauma, so if you're experiencing difficulty, it's important to find a teacher you trust to guide you—even if it means moving onto another form of practice.

The most important thing to realize is that meditation-related anxiety is real and can have devastating consequences. The challenges don't mean there's something wrong with you or that you need to "push through." The concept that life is suffering is unrelated to self-induced misery—especially if you want to get to the joy that can come with regular practice.

Lisa L. Kirchner is the author of Hello American Lady Creature: What I Learned as a Woman in Qatar. She is currently at work on The Joyseeker: Chasing Salvation in India, the story of the decade she spent looking for answers to the wrong question. More at lisalkirchner.com or on social @lisakirchner.



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I'm a Millennial Who Moved Back Home—and I Don't See It As a Failure

Thirty used to seem so old. When we were in our early 20s, my friends and I used to fantasize about owning our own homes, having kids, being at the top of our chosen professions... we thought we'd have conquered life by 30.

But reality doesn't work that way.

I'm now 32, and I feel like I have absolutely nothing figured out yet. I don't own my own home. I'm not married. I don't have kids—cats are enough for me, for the record. I'm not even close to where I want to be career-wise. And that's OK. But it hasn't been easy to internalize that.

EDITOR'S PICK

I was 12 or 13 when the term "millennial" began to be tossed around in the media, and with it, a set of expectations, academic demands, and the promise of a much brighter future than the Baby Boomers'. We'd inherited the earth, they told us. They just forgot to mention that it had gotten kind of... barren.

I lost my job in early July of last year. August came and went, and I had to answer some big questions. After "Where is my next rent check going to come from?" the most important was "What do I even want in life?"

I tried to figure it out, but of course, that's a big, loaded question—and unsurprisingly, I didn't get struck by a revelation about my life's purpose all at once. Instead, one night I realized that I needed a clean break—from the city, my roommates, maybe even myself. That's when I made the choice to move back home.

My future was hazy, and I knew moving home could be the opportunity I needed to replenish myself, give myself time to breathe, and pick up the pieces. I'm from a small, almost-secluded West Virginia town, nestled away in the Appalachian ridge—but there's so much culture embedded in this area's history. From the professional theater to countless art galleries, a Carnegie Hall, a dance troupe, a classically styled movie theater, and a local arts paper, the world was my oyster. This fresh chapter could open up new things for me... if I let it.

Unsurprisingly, I didn't get struck by a revalation about my life's purpose all at once.

My mother absolutely loved that I was moving back. We've always had a pretty strained relationship, and it had taken her a number of years to come to understand my career choices and that I had moved away. When I was younger, I didn't want to be tied down, suffocated—as I imagined it—by a small-town way of living. When I visited, my mom would just shake her head, give me a hug, and send me on my way.

But in retrospect, I was seeing my hometown and our relationship through the perspective I had at 18, and I've lived a whole life since then. I didn't have to perceive it the same way. Thirty-two-year-old me said, "Jason, just breathe. It'll be alright. Let this turmoil inspire you."

Of course, easier said than done, right? Of course, I risked falling back into old patterns, old relationships, and old ways of thinking. When I moved back home with my mom, I was bombarded with the usual string of questions from well-meaning family friends and extended family members: Why aren't you married yet? When are you going to settle down? Why don't you get a real job? Are you really moving again?

This line of questioning can be crushing, especially when it feels like your life is already in shambles. At times, I began to think that maybe I should pack it in, feel bad about myself, abandon ambition. I usually give snide answers to mask the stress these questions cause me.

But there have been so many upsides to moving back home. I've learned that wherever you may be in life and whatever dreams you might possess, bottoming out can give you some much-needed perspective. I finally came to realize moving home at 32 isn't failure. I have since regrouped, found more work in my field (phew!), moved into a new apartment, adopted two adorable kittens (number of cats in my life: three), and felt more alive than I have in some time.

Moving home isn't the end. Instead, it can be an opportunity to do all of the following:

1. Catch your breath financially.

Rent can be downright outrageous. It's hit a high that we haven't seen since the 1980s. Prices have risen 18 percent over the past five years, with the median rental rate reaching $864 by early 2017.

By not having to pay rent, a tremendous weight has lifted off my shoulders—I've actually been able to stash away a bit of cash. When I do get back on my feet again, I'll have a safety net, something I didn't have before. In an age when student debt is mounting and millennials are being blamed for the downfall of the economy, taking a breather at home could mean you can save up a bit—while you rediscover your passions.

2. Reclaim your emotional and physical health.

Moving home can be a way to reset yourself and clean out the cobwebs. You can learn to see this moment as an opportunity for a new beginning. Personally, I've struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life, along with the other 16.2 million Americans who had at least one depressive episode in 2016.

Once I acknowledged the need to tend to my mental health, things became clearer. I actually now have time to work out, pray, meditate. I have the time to do things that make me happy. You'd be surprised how much exercising—whether that be going for a run, walk, or simply doing a bit of yoga (this Greatist piece is a perfect place to start, FYI)—can revitalize your sense of self.

In college, while studying acting at West Virginia University, my voice and movement teachers instilled in me the importance of understanding our bodies, including how we breathe, where we carry our stress, and the tools necessary to reconnect to ourselves.

The world can be an incredibly stressful place, so taking extra time to show yourself love is imperative. What I like to do is pull up a favorite album on Spotify, lie completely flat on the floor, and explore my breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. Let the things beyond your control go. Imagine the toxicity leaving your body as a color, maybe a dark blue or purple. It's a symbolic act and can be liberating. Clean your mind of all the junk. I do this at least once a day, and by assigning the bad energy to something tangible, almost real, my mental slate is wiped clean.

3. Rediscover who you are, what you really want—and discover your next steps.

I spent so much time last year worrying that I forgot who I really am. Being home, I've been able to take some time to refocus. If you've become the latest victim in a long string of layoffs, see if you can use the downtime as an opportunity to take a step back, reassess your goals, re-establish who you are—and who you want to be.

Over the past six or seven months, I've laid out some goals for myself. I looked at my work history and stripped it down to the basic skills I've developed and realized that I have far more to offer than I let myself believe. In terms of my next career steps, I've been looking far beyond my usual line of work, expanding into other interests, and giving myself the freedom to play. I definitely recommend seeking outside perspectives—someone else's experience often helps you make sense of your own.

I have also spent ample time looking ahead to the next five, 10, 15 years. It can be daunting, but you can try to break what you want into parts (like starting a family, owning a home, relocating to another city) and set goals for yourself that will help you get closer to these—actionable steps you can take on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.

If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed in this process, remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. Oh, and breathe, get some fresh air, take a walk, do something new—you're great as you are, and there's no point in stressing about being stressed.

Jason Scott is a writer based in West Virginia. Itching for creative freedom, he founded his own music-discovery site called B-Sides & Badlands, which specializes in long-form writing and cultural criticism. If you enjoy kitty pics and being woke, follow him on Twitter.



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What Are Adaptogens and Do They Really Live Up to the Hype?

I was recently at a wellness conference when a speaker said something so alarming I almost fell out of my chair. It wasn’t that charcoal water is actually a sham (old news) or that “healthier” sugar isn’t actually that healthy or that low-carb diets aren’t one-size-fits-all.

It was when she dropped this bomb: “Adaptogens aren’t a thing,” she said. “The word is made up. It’s marketing. It’s nonsense.”

Up until this point, the speaker had me hanging on every word. Her debunking of the latest trends and health claims had me on the brink of a standing ovation. “It’s all about finding what works for your body,” she said. Preach!

But after she said adaptogens are BS, I looked around the room, expecting to see everyone’s jaw on the floor—as mine was. I’m used to learning that wellness products often aren't what they’re cracked up to be, but adaptogens?! What about my beloved ashwagandha, which has numerous scientifically proven benefits? Or maca, the nutty powder I’d been religiously adding to smoothies that I was sure was boosting my energy? It couldn’t be...

... could it?

What Are Adaptogens, Anyway?

Good news: Adaptogens are real. Not only does the term have its own Wikipedia page—just kidding, that’s not enough proof—but it is defined and studied by numerous scientists, and has been for years.

Adaptogens became a subject of study during WWII, when scientists wanted to see if herbal pills could improve physical and mental performance in pilots and submarine crews. They were also studied and tested by the former Soviet Union in the 1970s, as both a substance to help soldiers endure long, cold nights at high altitudes and as a performance aid for Olympians. (FYI: Steroids are not adaptogens.)

But adaptogens were used long before they started being studied by scientists. The supposedly powerful, plant-based substances have been part of Chinese and Ayurvedic healing traditions for centuries—long before marketing even existed.

So what are they, exactly?

In simple terms, adaptogens are medicinal plants believed to help the body respond more effectively to both physical and biological stressors. In scientific terms, they’re “substances that enhance the ‘state of non-specific resistance’ in stress, a physiological condition that is linked with various disorders of the neuroendocrine-immune system.” Let's break that down again: It's basically the long way of saying they’re substances (namely plants) that help the body adapt (get it?) to stress. Third time's a charm, right? (It took me a while to understand too.)

While you may not have brewed up an adaptogenic latte lately, you’ve likely stumbled across ginseng, ashwagandha, reishi, cordyceps, tulsi, or maca. And if those don’t ring a bell, it’s probably because the hard-to-pronounce—and even harder to remember—ingredients are often sold in adaptogenic blends that have fantastical names like Sex Dust and Queen Healer Mushroom.

Celebs like to sip them in smoothies, wellness bloggers whip them into Instagrammable elixirs, and I like to sprinkle them in coffee. But powders aren’t the only way to get yourself some adaptogenic goodness. The nontoxic plants are also sold as liquid tinctures, and for those less keen on their taste (some aren’t exactly known for flavor), as capsules too.

Why Is Everyone Consuming Them?

A quick search for “adaptogens” surfaces articles that claim they reduce stress, diminish anxiety, beat fatigue, and increase sex drive. You’ll also see the word “miracle” more than a few times. But that’s just a quick search.

A deep dive into adaptogenic recipes and blends will reveal that they supposedly balance hormones, help you sleep like a rock, kick PMS symptoms in the butt, ease cravings, rev metabolism, give you glowing skin, and basically turn you into a superhuman. It’s no surprise that the awe-inspiring tonics have invaded our Instagram and Pinterest feeds (according to Pinterest stats, "adaptogens in foods" has been saved 247 percent more times than last year), coffee chats, and wellness platforms across the globe.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what catapulted adaptogens into the spotlight, but it likely coincides with the ever-growing interest in holistic health. In 2011, the U.S. noted a 380-percent increase in the consumption of herbal medicines. Maybe the launch of Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop sparked some interest? Say what you will about celebrity-inspired wellness trends, but it can’t be denied the rich and famous can influence our health decisions.

So next time you see a mushroom hot cocoa, hormone-balancing nut milk, ashwagandha sleep tonic, or maca latte, don’t worry, you’re not late to the game. The world is slowly learning about adaptogens too—and drinking them in smoothies and lattes in the process.

Do They Work?

Because many adaptogens have yet to be adequately studied, it’s hard to say just how legit they are. But I decided to give four a go and see if they live up to the hype. Note: These are my personal opinions and experiences, so this is not meant to serve as nutritional advice.

Ashwagandha


If I were T. Swift, I’d write a love song about ashwagandha. What the multi-faceted herb lacks in taste—it’s bitter and pungent and has a bit of a stench—it makes up for in benefits, and science-backed ones at that. (It’s not always love at first sight! Or sniff, or taste... )

  • What it is: An herb believed to offer rejuvenating properties that promote physical and emotional well-being and longevity. Never heard of it? You may recognize it as “Indian ginseng.”
  • How it’s consumed: I like ashwagandha blended into my morning cup of coffee (with a splash of cashew milk), but I’ve also added it to smoothies, teas, and chocolate (wasn’t my favorite) and taken it down via tincture tube and capsule.
  • What it tastes like: When it’s blended with deliciousness—like coffee and almond butter smoothies—you only get the slightest hint of bitterness (think a touch of bark, hint of leaves, and a wee bit of bite). Taking it by tincture, however, made me feel like I was swallowing earthy gasoline.
  • What it does, according to science: According to the internet, ashwagandha can do pretty much everything. According to science, it may help ease stress and anxiety, increase endurance, boost immunity, fight diseases, heal wounds and backaches, treat fertility problems, increase sexual desire in women, reduce the signs of aging, and much more.
  • The verdict: I am, without a doubt, drinking the ashwagandha Kool-Aid—and will be for years (if not the rest of my life). I’ve been taking it for a year and can confidently say I’ve reaped some of the benefits. Not only did my horrific menstrual cramps disappear, but my stress and anxiety have significantly dropped and my once sleepless nights are now anything but. Yep, I’m a fangirl.

Maca


Maca is hardly a new kid on the block. The first time I tried it was in 2012 when a friend recommended this heavenly chocolate and mint smoothie. I didn’t know what maca was or what it did. I just knew that I really liked it—or was it the mint and chocolate?

  • What it is: A Peruvian root that’s believed to improve energy and stamina. The Ancient Incan superfood looks like a cross between a parsnip and a radish but has little similarity in taste.
  • How it’s consumed: Maca’s neutral (and pleasant-tasting) flavor means it goes with pretty much everything. I like sprinkling it on yogurt, whisking it into hot chocolate, smattering it into smoothies, and sneaking it into pancake mix. Though I’ve only tried maca powder—which is how it’s primarily sold—it’s also available in tinctures and capsules.
  • What it tastes like: Maca has an earthy, nutty flavor with a hint of sweetness. Some even say it tastes like butterscotch. I’m quite partial to it, but when I snuck it into a pot of black coffee, my housemates were none too pleased (perhaps a warning would’ve been wise… ).
  • What it does, according to science: Similar to other adaptogens, the claims of what maca can do are quite expansive. According to science (full transparency... some of these have only been proven on rats, so we're still waiting for human trials), it may: increase sex drive, decrease sexual dysfunction, decrease signs of aging, lower cholesterol, and balance hormones in premenopausal women.
  • The verdict: Long story short is that most of the research on maca is in its infancy and isn’t strong enough to make any solid claims—at least not yet. I’ll occasionally chuck it in my breakfast, but mostly because I like the taste (I didn't notice any significant changes while taking it).

Cordyceps


It took me awhile to get excited about medicinal mushrooms. Not only am I permanently damaged from the horror stories told in D.A.R.E.—OK, those are magic mushrooms, but still!—but I’m also just not a huge fan of mushrooms. The texture and taste don’t do much for me, but I could be convinced if they have superpowers?

  • What it is: Edible mushrooms used in Chinese and Tibetan medicine. But they’re not just a regular mushroom; they’re a cool mushroom that’s grown on the backs of caterpillars. (Come on, that’s pretty cool.)
  • How it’s consumed: No surprise here. Our fungi friend is often sold in powder form and mixed into lattes, smoothies, and the occasional soup. Another non-shocker: I like to drink it with coffee. I love the various blends Four Stigmatic sells—hot cacao, coffee, matcha—as all you need to add is hot water (and perhaps a little almond milk).
  • What it tastes like: On its own, cordyceps powder tastes earthy, nutty, and a bit, well, like mushrooms. But blended with my favorite morning ingredients—like coffee and cacao—you only get a hint of the shroomy flavor. Though cordyceps are commonly paired with sweeter flavors, I actually think they taste best mixed with savory ones, like soup broths.
  • What it does, according to science: Full of essential amino acids and vitamins like B1, B2, B12 and K, cordyceps are pretty impressive. But what's even more impressive is that the medicinal mushroom has antitumor properties, can help treat autoimmune diseases, is anti-inflammatory and good for the gut, can increase sex drive and endurance, and may help protect our liver and kidneys. Casual.
  • The verdict: I was secretly hoping cordyceps weren't all they're cracked up to be because I don't love the taste (which is a totally valid reason to walk away, friends!). But the medicinal powers are pretty potent, and quite frankly, hard to ignore. Though I personally haven't noticed better endurance or a rockin' sex drive, I'm not going to officially throw in the towel just yet. Rumor has it good things come to those who wait.

Holy Basil


My early 20s were riddled with anxiety. Not only am I hyper-organized and a self-proclaimed perfectionist, but I also suffer from the disease to please—particularly in those years. I wanted to do everything, make everyone happy, crush my career… and it nearly broke me. Instead of turning to medication—which I knew I didn’t need—I turned to holy basil.

  • What it is: A plant used to treat anxiety, also known as tulsi. Though it's closely related to sweet basil, you won’t be mixing it into your pesto any time soon.
  • How it’s consumed: Ready for a wild card? Holy basil isn’t your new favorite smoothie or latte ingredient (though it is often consumed as a tea). Many take holy basil in capsule form, myself included, and sip on tulsi tea. It's also sold as a liquid tincture.
  • What it tastes like: To be honest, I can’t say I’ve ever really tasted it. I’ve had many a tulsi tea, but it's often brewed with other potent ingredients like turmeric, ginger, masala, and rose. That said, it’s described as licorice-like and slightly spicy. (Sounds pretty good, actually.)
  • What it does, according to science: Does the basil live up to its holy name? According to science, it may promote relaxation, well-being (equivalent to that of a yoga class), and a calm disposition. It's also anti-diabetic, revs the metabolism, increases endurance, helps prevent cancers, enhances cognition, and has some other pretty stellar benefits.
  • The verdict: Holy basil is my holy grail when it comes to stress and anxiety. When I know I’m on the brink of stress—or I'm unexpectedly in the midst of it—I start taking it immediately. I notice a considerable difference when I take it consistently, as do the people around me.

The Takeaway

With so many adaptogens on the market and more popping up every day, it's hard to analyze and test each one. (There are only so many coffees, smoothies, lattes, and capsules we can consume—and consistently at that!) So don't feel the need to try everything, as tempting as it may be. And as with any supplement you're considering trying, do sufficient research and make sure the claims are backed by science—not to mention, check with a doctor to make sure there's no risk of taking them with medication.

Of the four adaptogens I tried, ashwagandha and holy basil are the ones I'll keep in my daily repertoire. (Two out of four ain't bad!) If I ever come around to the taste of cordyceps, maybe I'll start sipping more regularly. As for the numerous others, I'll wait until substantial evidence of their benefits exists—no matter what the celebs say.



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Turns Out That Compromise Isn't the Key to a Happy Relationship After All

"Good relationships are all about compromise." "If you want a great relationship, learn to compromise." "A healthy relationship means compromise."

Some variation of "compromise more" is probably the most common, universally accepted piece of relationship advice—the idea being that if you learn to meet your partner halfway, you'll both be happy. But as a relationship and intimacy expert who has been guiding couples for 20 years, I don't think that advice is actually true. Here's why:

EDITOR'S PICK

1. Compromise can make you lose touch with what matters to you.

The result of frequent compromise is that you become accustomed to accommodating your partner's desires, and in the process, lose track of what you really want. I once worked with a couple, Joanne and Mike. When they started dating, she loved spicy food—her favorite restaurants were mom-and-pop Mexican places with jalapeños hanging from the ceiling, and she loved dousing her dinner in the hottest hot sauce. Mike, on the other hand, preferred Italian food and avoided spicy cuisines. Since Joanne could find dishes she could eat at the restaurants Mike chose, they ended up going to his favorite spots pretty exclusively.

Initially, Joanne was fine with that because she knew it was important to compromise, and the Italian food was good enough. However, over time, and after other similar compromises, Joanne noticed that she was no longer clear about what she wanted. When buying shoes, for example, or picking a book in a bookstore, the decision-making process took longer than they used to.

In our work together, she realized that by putting aside her own desires for the sake of her marriage, she had become uncertain about what she really wanted. One of my early recommendations was that the couple start going out for spicy food again from time to time. Sure enough, once they were going to the restaurants she chose, and she was reconnected with her own desires, she was much more clear about what she wanted in other areas of her life too.

2. Compromise can kill your passion for each other.

When we compromise in one area of a relationship, we end up compromising in other areas too. When Joanne and Mike first came to see me, it was because their sex life had become bland and infrequent. In learning to compromise in order to have a harmonious relationship, they had both learned to set aside their own desires—a strategy that kept conflict to a minimum but didn't inspire much passion—and they couldn't shake that dynamic when it came to the bedroom.

A nourishing, emotionally connected relationship requires vulnerability and honesty about your desires, as well as a shared understanding that both partners' needs are important. When we compromise, we accept "good enough." But if you want to have a glorious, connected, fun, sexy relationship, there is no place for "good enough" in your interactions with your spouse.

3. Creativity and compromise do not coexist.

Once you and your partner let go of compromise and instead commit to what each of you wants with one another, the creative juices start to flow.

For example, if Joanne and Mike hadn't been so oriented toward compromise, maybe they would have thought to each get takeout from the restaurant of their choosing and then have a picnic in the park together. This could have allowed each of them to eat the food they loved without compromise—and they would get to have a fantastic dinner together as well.

The way to build a juicy, nourishing relationship is to let go of compromise and instead focus on what each partner desires, then look for creative ways to satisfy both desires simultaneously. With practice, the creative solutions come surprisingly easily.

Alexandra Stockwell is a physician turned relationship coach. The views expressed herein are hers. She believes that people who enjoy juicy marriages have better relationships with everyone in their lives. She has coached more than 1,500 men and women on their journey to live vibrant, meaningful lives and trains other coaches to do the same. For more information, visit her website.



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