Weight Loss - What Motivates You to Lose Weight?
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See What It's Really Like to Read With Dyslexia
It's not easy to put yourself into someone else's shoes (hopefully they're the same size!). All kidding aside, this website does a good job of simulating what it's like to read with dyslexia. The letters continuously move around, making reading difficult and time consuming. Although it's not exactly what someone with dyslexia experiences, the website can help people better understand the challenges that nearly 40 million American adults face.
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Always's #LikeAGirl Campaign Reveals a Big Problem With Emojis
Remember the "throw like a girl" video from Always that went viral a few years ago? Well, the company is back at it with another empowering #LikeAGirl video. This time young women talk about their frustration with female emojis—most of them are pink, few are doing work (and that's only if you count the dancer), and none are breaking a sweat.
The girls in the video come up with great suggestions for new female emojis, including wrestlers, soccer players, weight lifters, cops, lawyers, and "a super-badass girl." Emojis may be something most of us don't think twice about, but this ad serves as a reminder that they can reinforce harmful stereotypes.
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Understanding the Hoopla and Goodness Around Alkaline Water
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Is Mental Health Covered Under Health Insurance?
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Healthcare and Prior Authorization
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How Good Are Health Articles?
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Here’s Why You’ll Probably Need to Wear Glasses Soon
Find yourself squinting while staring at your phone or computer? You’re far from alone. A recent report estimated that half the world will be nearsighted by 2050. (Good thing glasses are trendy!)
That number is a huge increase from 2000, when just a quarter of the world had myopia (the medical term for nearsightedness). However the optometrists we spoke with didn’t find the estimate surprising. “We see people with mild myopia worsening every year,” says Eric Perez, an optometrist. “We see patients with myopia that do not have a family history of it.”
Two culprits are likely to blame:
1. Increased Screen Time
Eye doctors use the term “near work,” but mostly they’re referring to the screens you look at (like right now!). As we spend more time looking at computers and smartphones that are just a few feet—and sometimes only inches—away, we don’t give our eyes a chance to look into the distance. (So now you know why you have so much trouble reading road signs.)
Fix It: Use the 20/20/20 rule, says Dominick Maino, an optometrist. Every 20 minutes, look at an object at least 20 feet away for 20 seconds. (If you use Google Chrome, you can even download eyeCare, a browser extension that reminds you to look away.)
2. Decreased Time Outdoors
When you're outdoors, you tend to look at more objects in the distance, exercising that part of your vision, Perez says. There’s also research that shows natural sunlight triggers the release of dopamine in your retina, which also helps prevent myopia.1
Fix It: Spend more daylight hours outside. The goal is at least 10 hours per week, Perez says.
Works Cited
- Time outdoors and the prevention of myopia. French AN, Ashby RS, Morgan IG. Experimental eye research, 2013, May.;114():1096-0007.
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Take Time To Reflect On Your Weight Loss Progress
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Bloating - 60+ Million People Live With It, What Can Be Done?
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Is It Ever OK to Stay in Touch With Your Ex?
Whether or not the breakup was your call, cutting a person out of your life—someone with whom you’ve shared secrets, dreams for the future, a bed, or even a home—is really, really tough. And there’s no formula for breaking up with someone (though we did write about the best way to do it without being a jerk).
But even after the hard part is over, it’s never as cut-and-dry as simply saying good-bye. In today’s smartphone-centric, Facebook-addicted, Instagram-obsessed world, staying in touch with an ex is a lot easier—and messier.
Is the answer to unfriend, unfollow, and block? Can you check in via text? Do you wish them a happy birthday when Facebook aggressively prods you to?
As with all things in love, each situation is individual, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship. And, of course, there are some practical reasons to stay in touch with an ex, says Juliana Breines, Ph.D., a social psychology researcher at Brandeis University. For example, if you have children or a business together.
Or maybe you want to remain friends with an ex because that’s an easier option than cutting ties abruptly, or because you still feel emotionally attached to them. Those reasons are exactly why staying in contact with an ex isn’t a good idea, Breines says.
Here are three things to consider before opening up the lines of communication.
1. How Emotionally Connected Are You?
Pop quiz: Think about your ex. How do you feel? If you honestly don’t feel anything at all—like totally, 100 percent neutral, an emotional zero on a scale from one to 10—then it may be possible to stay friendly with them in a healthy and functional way, Orbuch says.
The problem? Most us don’t (and can’t) truly feel that way. “If you feel any emotion when you think of your ex—if you’re angry, pining, frustrated, or unsure—that means you’re still connected,” Orbuch says, which signals you have some emotional baggage you need to unpack before you think about reaching out.
2. How Did the Relationship End?
It was mutual and ended on good terms.
If there are legitimate reasons to remain cordial (for instance, you have mutual friends, children, or you work at the same company), then by all means be civil toward one another. We’re all mature adults here, right?
And if you were friends before, research proves it is possible to go back to being friends again—regardless of who broke up with whom. The caveat: If one or both of you were romantically interested in each other during the previous friendship, you may (again) have trouble keeping things platonic, Breines says. That’s why it's probably a good idea to wait until you've recovered from the breakup to reestablish a friendship, which could take months or even years, depending on the nature of the split.
Remember that what your ex needs most is to feel independent from you, not dependent on you.
You broke up with them, and it wasn’t pretty.
“It's natural to want to comfort an ex through a breakup if they aren't taking it well,” Breines says. But she cautions that emotional support can send a confusing message, giving false hope or preventing them from moving on. Resist the urge to text or email, she suggests, and remember that what your ex needs most is to feel independent from you, not dependent on you.
You were broken up with.
That stinks. We know how much a broken heart hurts. And we also know the urge to text your ex can be overwhelming.
If you’re reaching out to your ex (texting, emailing, or calling) or obsessively checking their social media profile (all. the. time.), it means you’re still strongly connected to that person, Orbuch says. Even if you don't want to admit it, it means you’re wishing you were with them.
The most masochistic part of it: Although it may make you sad or upset to look at their profile, it’s your subconscious yet cruel way of helping yourself still feel connected or associated with that person, Orbuch says.
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Surveys find that about 88 percent of people creep on their ex's social media profile. Which isn’t all that surprising—after all, blocking someone who used to be a big part your life feels very final and very sad.
But staring at their Snapchat stories or scrolling through their Instagram for hours isn’t going to help you feel better. Research shows that constantly clicking on your ex’s Facebook page can disrupt emotional recovery after a breakup by creating more distress, negative feelings, sexual desire, and longing for your ex.1 It also inhibits personal growth, which could be the best thing to come out a breakup. Studies even suggest cyberstalking could lead to actual in-person stalking.2
Plus, don't forget that social media presents a positively skewed picture of others' lives, Breines reminds us. Your ex's life or new relationship may seem flawless, but you don't know what's really going on. Still, if you find the allure of looking too distracting or hard to handle, it’s time to unfriend and unfollow once and for all.
You want to be with someone who wants to be with you.
Finally, when the temptation to text or call strikes, think about what you want out of a good relationship, Orbuch suggests. “When someone breaks up with you, that means they don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” It may sound like tough love, but remember: You want to be with someone who wants to be with you.
3. How Does Your Partner Feel About It?
If you're not sure, here's a litmus test: Would you feel comfortable hanging out with your ex and your current partner together? “If the answer is no, then staying friends with your ex may not work,” Breines says. And if you're sneaking around and not telling your new S.O. that you’re in touch with your ex, that's definitely a bad sign.
However, if your partner would be totally cool knowing or finding out about your communication with your ex, then keeping that connection is probably fine, Orbuch says.
Finally, staying in touch with an ex when you're with a new partner could lead you to (falsely) believe the grass is always greener, Breines says. Especially when you're upset or annoyed with your current S.O., you may think that things would be better with someone else. “But this way of thinking is a trap and could prevent you from ever being happy where you are,” Breines says.
Remember, it's always easy to romanticize the person you’re no longer with with since you’re not exposed to all their irritating habits, she adds.
The Takeaway
The temptation to stay in touch with an ex is normal—we've all been there. If you need to remain civil (and can), by all means go for it. But if you're hanging onto the hope of getting back together, giving them the wrong impression, or risking your current relationship, that's another story.
When the urge to text the ex strikes, message a good friend instead, Breines suggests. They can help bring you back to reality. And most of all, remember what you deserve: a loving, lasting relationship that both people want to be a part of.
Works Cited
- Facebook surveillance of former romantic partners: associations with postbreakup recovery and personal growth. Marshall TC. Cyberpsychology, behavior and social networking, 2012, Sep.;15(10):2152-2723.
- Stalking perpetrators and psychological maltreatment of partners: anger-jealousy, attachment insecurity, need for control, and break-up context. Davis KE, Ace A, Andra M. Violence and victims, 2001, Jun.;15(4):0886-6708. College students' Facebook stalking of ex-partners. Lyndon A, Bonds-Raacke J, Cratty AD. Cyberpsychology, behavior and social networking, 2011, Jul.;14(12):2152-2723.
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Weight Loss - Are Freshly Prepared Pre-Packaged Meals A Wise Choice?
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Weight Loss - What Is The 5:2 Diet Plan And Is It Right For You?
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A Yoga Workout to Boost Your Metabolism
If you've never tried a yoga class before, you might think it's all about the best stretches for your body or bending into seemingly impossible poses. But in reality, it take equal parts strength, breath, and flexibility. And that's the case with this week's Grokker video.
The 30-minute vinyasa flow involves planks, downward dogs, low lunges, and balance poses that will leave you feeling strong but not out of breath. You don't need any equipment, but a yoga mat will help. And if you've never tried yoga before, this beginner-friendly video is still a good place to start. Clear some space, take a few deep breaths, and then hit play below.
Looking for more short and effective at-home workouts? Grokker has thousands of routines, so you’ll never get bored. Bonus: For a limited time, Greatist readers get 40 percent off Grokker Premium (just $9 per month) and their first 14 days free. Sign up now!
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These NSFW Videos Perfectly Explain Consent
If there's any confusion about consent, these goofy videos with talking body parts give a simple explanation: "If it's not yes, it's no." The "characters" (breasts, butts, vaginas, and penises) in these videos from Project Consent may make you giggle, but the important message comes through loud and clear: Having a good time, even dancing or laughing, isn't consent.
Check out two more of the NSFW (you've been warned!) videos below:
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Top 6 Emerging Trends in Medical Devices
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The Science-Backed Way to Break Through a Creative Block
Next time you're straining to come up with new ideas, don't throw your hands up in the air in despair: Science says you should keep at it. It sounds almost too simple, but as this video from The Science of Us explains, psychologists found that we tend to give up too early in the brainstorming process. If we kept it up a little bit longer, we'd be surprised by all the ideas we could come up with. There are lots of ways to get more creative, but this research suggests that your best bet is to just keep swimming thinking.
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Best Hair Care Tips Bloggers Shared With Us
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How Doctors Can Boost Their Private Practice Using Mobile Apps
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The 3 Times Food Isn't Safe to Eat
We've all had that moment when we wonder if something has really gone bad. And that tends to happen a lot when you're cooking for one. Your mom, best friend, and Google all have different answers, but the best rule of thumb is to avoid these three red flags:
1. Green Potatoes
If it looks like Kermit, chuck the potato. The green hue can signal the harmful toxin solanine, which can't be cooked off. The same advice goes for any potatoes that taste bitter.
2. Mold
This is kind of an obvious one, but make sure you cut off not only the moldy parts but also an inch perimeter around that spot. And if the food is overgrown with mold, toss it. Exceptions, such as blue cheese, do exist, but if you're unsure, it's best to play it safe.
3. Rancid Nuts and Oils
Stay away from nuts and oils that make you go "ew!" If it tastes really gross, it's probably rancid, which means the fats and oils have started to decompose. These have a lower chance of making you sick, but trust us, you won't want to eat them anyway.
The good news is lots foods that look bad are probably still OK to eat. Browning apples, bananas, and potatoes are totally fine, since the outer skin of these foods protects the inside. Same goes for food that's bruised (you may want to remove the bruised portion). Surprisingly, sour milk (as long as it's pasteurized—and most dairy in the U.S. is) likely won't make you sick, even if the smell makes you cringe. You may not want to drink it, but it's safe to use for baking or other recipes that require it.
(h/t Lucky Peach)
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Cinnamon and Your Health
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How to Burn Belly Fat After 40
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Weight Loss Tactics
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An Open Letter to Anyone Who Thinks They're Fat (From Someone Who Is)
Darling,
I know how difficult things have gotten—how cold and raw your days have become. And I have never loved you more than I do today.
Because I know where you are. The shame that melts through you when you see the jeans you bought because they only had them a size too small, and your friend said that would just motivate you. Wanting to go to the gym but feeling like you'll have to run through a gauntlet of stares, snickers, and side comments. (And what would you even wear?) Considering the supplement from Dr. Oz that is clearly a hoax, but you've tried everything else.
Dressing impeccably every day for your own security. Laughing too loudly at jokes about fat people so no one mistakes you for one. Feeling anxious when you order food in public, because if you order pasta, everyone around you will think "how sad," of course, and if you order vegetables everyone around you will think "but what a shame she let herself get that way." Forcing a smile when someone tells you that you "wear it well." Then wondering why you feel so deflated after compliments like that.
Convincing yourself that you're fine—you don't have to go to the doctor. Remembering how the nurse grimaces apologetically when she announces she's going to have to weigh you, as if that didn't happen every time. The familiar disappointment in the doctor who bypasses an examination and just tells you to lose weight.
The racing heart when you board an airplane. Making yourself as small as possible in the seat, breathing shallowly and keeping your arms and legs crossed for all five hours. Spending your whole vacation praying that someone won't complain about having to sit next to you on the flight back.
Crying in the car after a family gathering when one family member brings up lap band surgery and another asks if you shouldn't just pass on the potatoes. The way the whole room gets silent after those comments.
You've learned to break the tension. The moment passes. Later, you think about dying.
Consoling your thin friend, insisting, "You're not fat!" while she cries about becoming a size 10, saying pretty soon she'll have to shop in plus size stores. Letting your partner talk shit about your body because he's got a point—right? And his reminders are going to help you finally get thin.
Quietly planning your days, weeks, and life around avoiding these everyday situations that throw you into a tail spin. The heavy, humid smog of shame that settles into your life and lungs. The steady, puttering engine of anxiety. Breathing that tightens a little every day.
And then, one day, you wake up and think the unthinkable:
You might just be fat.
After all the money, time, worry, distraction, and shame of trying every program, pill, regimen, and trainer under the sun, it might just not happen. You might not lose 10, 20, or 50 pounds. This might just be the body you have.
The thought is terrifying. Because you have to let go of the dream of that body that just isn't yours and might never be. Because so many of your relationships, so much of your money, and so much of your time are tied up in trying desperately to lose weight, all of it, as quickly as you can. And if you're not constantly chasing after a smaller body, who are you? And who would take you seriously?
It's terrifying because all you've heard all your life is how awful it is to be fat. Fat is the moral to the story. It is the worst case scenario. Fat means being isolated, alone, lazy, weak-willed. It means being ugly and unloved.
Fat means giving up. Fat means that the side comments and overt aggression from strangers, family, friends, and doctors—all of that continues.
But you don't deserve that treatment. No one does. You don't deserve the well-intentioned bullying of family members who insist that they're only acting out of concern for you. Your body doesn't entitle partners to belittle and abuse you. Your weight doesn't mean you deserve to be condescended, shamed, or ignored at the doctor's office. Having a fat body doesn't mean that anyone can treat you however they want.
Purge yourself of the terrible things people have said and done, the deep sadness that has weighed on you for so long, the anxiety and frustration and isolation.
And now, my darling, you can grieve. Get sad. Mourn the body you don't have—not because it's better, but because you've held onto the idea of it for so long. Cry for the cruel, insensitive things people have said to you.
Get angry that the doctor wouldn't run any tests because he said you just needed to lose weight, and then let your symptoms get so much worse. Laugh at the absurdity of thin people eating nachos while they lecture you about going to the gym.
Purge yourself of the terrible things people have said and done, the deep sadness that has weighed on you for so long, the anxiety and frustration and isolation. It doesn't deserve your time.
Then feel the extraordinary lightness in your body. Feel the weight lift from your shoulders, feel your brow unfurrow, drink in a real, deep breath.
You are fat. And you can move on.
It can be hard to know who you are if you're not always thinking and talking about losing weight. You might feel adrift. But that feeling is a precursor to the most divine liberation. It is the glimmer of fiery sky before the sunrise. It is a new day, and now the world is yours.
You can buy clothing that fits who you are. You can buy clothing that fits! Buy things that you want to wear: bright colors and cap sleeves and drop waists and short skirts. Break fashion rules. Experiment. Get bright. Get weird! Find out what your style is, beyond the endless rules set forth for you by people who hate their bodies as much as you used to hate yours.
You can find other fat people, or trans people, or people with disabilities, or intersex people, new friends who are also thinking dangerous thoughts. Who are realizing that shame doesn't help them get happy, healthy or grounded. Who are nurturing the voice in the back of their head that says that person might not have a point. They might just be a jerk.
My grandmother used to say, "Just because someone throws you the ball doesn't mean you have to catch it." You can learn to drop the ball.
You can come out as fat. Tell your friends, your family, strangers at the grocery store, whoever you want. Practice saying it before anyone else can. Over time, it will come more naturally. Over time, their comments will hurt less, because you know your worth, and you know that it isn't determined by simply having a fat body.
You can travel, learn to roller skate, buy a f*cking bikini! Tell someone that you like them, that you want to date them or sleep with them. Start swimming laps at the Y, because you're a great swimmer, and it makes you so happy. You can do what you want, because what other people say is on them. You know who you are, and part of who you are is fat. What else can they say?
You can advocate for yourself. Respond to the doctor who says that you wouldn't have so many ear infections if you weren't fat. Ask your aunt to stop talking about Jenny Craig. Tell that asshole at the bar that you wouldn't fuck him, either. You can get what you need.
Declare a ceasefire with your body. Somewhere down the line, you may learn to love it.
You can let go of the constant running. Let go of performing, internalizing, beating yourself up. Declare a ceasefire with your body. Somewhere down the line, you may learn to love it. You may even begin to believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are.
You can live your life. Do what makes you happy—really happy. Focus on your job or your family or yourself. Volunteer or get a new job or finally ask that cute neighbor out. You can realize just how resilient and strong you've become, and you can flex that muscle. Put it to work building a life you love.
It's not easy. It will take time. Friends will still say shitty things. So will strangers. The world will still come at you. But you won't come at you. You'll be too busy building a life you love.
Welcome, my darling. Feel the sun on your skin. I've been waiting for you.
This article originally appeared on Medium and was republished with the author's permission. For more, follow Your Fat Friend on Twitter. The views expressed herein are the author's and the author's alone.
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Turn Your Phone Into a Coloring Book With This Free App
Recolor App
Adult coloring books are now topping best-seller lists. It makes sense: In our fast-paced world, sitting down with paper and pencil is a cheap and easy way to zone out and destress.
But in practice, coloring isn’t always relaxing. If you’re Type A like us, you worry about staying inside the lines. And since we spend most of our day typing, our hand cramps after gripping a colored pencil for a few minutes. Nothing a little technology can’t fix.
Recolor app (available on iOS) lets you choose from dozens of free illustrations (some are even 3-D!) depicting everything from nature to fashion to food. Select a hue from the bottom of the screen and start coloring (er, tapping). If you get bored with the free illustrations, you can pony up $7.99 per month for hundreds more, or you can upload pages you find online.
We also love the app’s finishing touches. They work like Instagram filters to make the final product look like it’s been done with pencils, markers, acrylic paint, or even watercolors. But the best part? You can now have your moment of Zen anywhere and time you choose.
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Why Being Jealous Isn’t Always a Bad Thing
As kids we're taught that jealously is bad (heck, envy is one of the seven deadly sins), but this video from The School of Life suggests the trait may be helpful since it tells us what we really want. In other words, being jealous of your friend's knack for music could be a cue to sign up for guitar lessons. You probably won't become a rock star, but you will be making progress toward a life you admire. This doesn't mean every time we feel some sort of envy—like when we watch clips of the badass U.S. women's gymnastics team—we should add it to our five-year plan. But if certain envious feelings keep coming up, you may want to listen.
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See How One Runner Proposed Using His Fitness Tracker
No, he didn’t get down on one knee and present her with a Fitbit. Martin Rolfe, who's apparently quite the romantic, ran an 8-mile route that, when logged by his fitness tracker, spelled out “will you marry me?" Can't make out the message in the photo above? At first his fiancée couldn't either. She told Rolfe it looked like a weird route before he said to look for hidden words. Now that's dedication.
(h/t Mashable)
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5 Reasons You're Not Losing Weight
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5 Facts You Need to Know About Lupus
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What Natural Lupus Treatment Options Are Available
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This Gym’s Body-Positive Campaign Will Make You Smile
Sometimes walking into the gym feels like you’re interrupting a meeting of Greek gods and goddesses. (So this is where the beautiful people hang.) That’s why we’re such fans of this Blink Fitness commercial, which shows real people with booties and bellies enjoying their workouts. It’s a far cry from the sexy, sweaty ads from Blink’s parent company, Equinox. (A virtually naked male model handcuffed to a radiator—where can we take that class?)
Blink isn’t the first gym to use real people having fun working out as a selling point. Crunch recently released a “no judgments” campaign, and Planet Fitness is famous for saying “no gymtimidation, no lunks.” But this video feels like a step further, one closely aligned with the body positivity movement. And we can’t help but smile at the clever wordplay of “every body happy.”
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Planned Parenthood's “Hotline Bling” Remix Has an Important Message
Planned Parenthood of New York wants you to text "nowuknow" to 77948 to learn more about sexual health. And it wants that number stuck in your head, so naturally it put its own twist on Drake's infamous "Hotline Bling" music video. The parody is a bit cheesy, but the teen advocates on-screen do a good job of making the case for texting the center's hotline, which gives more information about Planned Parenthood's services. We love that this video is coming from the teens themselves, and we're fans of any fun way to promote sexual health.
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These Are the Real Signs of Smartphone Addiction
We use our smartphones all the time—while going to the bathroom, waiting in line, before heading to bed—but when does overuse cross the line into a more dangerous addiction? The simple answer: It becomes a problem when you can't stop checking your phone, even when doing so puts your life at risk, David Greenfield, Ph.D., the founder of the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, tells Time. But what does that really mean?
Do you text and drive, knowing that you’re putting yourself (and others) in danger? Do you feel anxious or irritable when your phone is out of reach? These are common markers of addiction. However Greenfield does say that the number of people actually addicted to their smartphones is small.
But overuse is still a big concern. Smartphones throw off our focus, mess with our sleep, and create unnecessary stress. Yet we keep checking because who knows what might be new this time.
If you think you may be overusing your smartphone, try tracking and limiting your usage. The good news? Unplugging is a little easier with the help of podcasts and apps (ironic, we know). We even put together a list to get you started.
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Can I Lose Weight With Biltong?
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Different Ways to Wear Perfume
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Improve Digestion Naturally: Learning A Little More About Your Gut Can Improve Digestion Naturally
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Struggling With Healthy Lifestyle Habits? How To Regain Simple Ancient Healthy Lifestyle Habits
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How to Tell Someone You Have an STD
In life, there’s no shortage of tough yet necessary conversations—from breaking up with someone to laying off an employee to telling your mom you’re not going to make it home for Christmas. One of the worst? Informing a new partner you have a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
We’re not going to sugarcoat it: It’s going to be awkward. But it’s also incredibly important, says Rachel DeAlto, a relationship and communications expert. Allowing sexual desire to overtake our human decency is really not OK, she says.
Fortunately, when done right, having this conversation can open the door to an even more honest and trusting relationship in the long run. And while it may never be an easy talk to have, this advice can help.
6 Tips for the Talk
1. Yes, you have to tell.
While you don’t need to share your STD status with everyone you go on a date with, you do need to tell anyone you’re going to be getting physical with, says Christan Marashio, writer, dating expert, and creator of And That's Why You're Single.
And no, you can’t put it off until after getting busy. While condoms can reduce the risk of passing on an STD, they don’t eliminate the risk completely.
So if there’s a chance of having sex or even skin-to-skin contact with someone, they deserve to know about an STD. Not only are you potentially putting their health at risk, but you’re also toying with the foundation of honesty and trust, which is crucial to establish properly off the bat for any healthy relationship, DeAlto adds.
(Note: Some sources now refer to STDs as STIs—the “I” stands for infection. The terms are basically interchangeable, though STI is more encompassing and allows for the fact that some infections are curable and asymptomatic.)
2. Know your facts.
Make sure you learn as much as you can about the STD you’re dealing with before initiating a conversation. The Centers for Disease Control and Planned Parenthood are good resources, as is talking your doctor. Human papillomavirus (HPV), for example, is so common that the CDC predicts most sexually active men and women will get at least one strain of it at some point in their lives. And 90 percent of infections resolve themselves within two years, which is also helpful to know. (HPV can still have serious consequences like cervical cancer, so we’re not saying it’s a joking matter.)
When you bring it up, start with your diagnosis, lay out what has happened since, and then include as many facts as possible. Remember that logic and facts win in most situations, Marashio says. Also keep in mind that most people don’t know much about STDs unless they have one, so it’s going to be your job to give them a crash course on it.
Finally, explain their chances of contracting it early in the conversation, DeAlto advises. “At the end of the day, people are selfish and want to know their risk. Then they’ll make an assessment in their head of risk versus reward.”
3. Pick the right place...
Do it in private, ideally face-to-face—not over dinner in a restaurant or at Starbucks, Marashio says. “Telling someone in public may cause the other person to feel a little manipulated, like they can’t have a genuine reaction,” she explains. Your best bet is on a park bench or at their apartment—somewhere they feel comfortable and free from judgment.
4. ...and time.
Tell them before getting intimate—don't wait until after clothes come off. After all, the whole point is to give the other person an option you may not have had: to decide if the risk is worth it before getting infected.
“Your brain is not working the same when you’re half undressed and ready to go,” DeAlto explains, “and people certainly don’t make the smartest decisions once sex is already on the brain. Research confirms: Once we're sexually aroused, we're more likely to take risks, including things like forgoing birth control or protection.
Also, make sure you’re both sober. “If they’re too drunk to understand what you’re saying, not only will they not be in the state of mind to make a healthy decision, but there’s a chance they may not remember the talk in the morning,” DeAlto says. Not a risk you want to take.
If you’re really freaking out about telling them IRL and keep chickening out, that little screen may come in handy to help you feel safer, DeAlto says. (After all, typing out serious conversations has become second nature in today’s smartphone-centric world.)
A good example of a time to say it virtually: after a date that was headed in the direction of sex but veered off course. “That can be a natural segue once you get home: ‘I know I cut you off there, and it’s not that I wanted to. I just need to tell you something first.’”
The bottom line: Do it once and do it right. You want the peace of mind of knowing you had the conversation without being impaired by alcohol, weed, or any sexual desires.
5. Be considerate and calm.
Start with something like, “Hey, there’s something I want to talk to you about before we go any further.” Unfortunately, no matter how you say it, this sentence is likely going to trigger an automatic reaction in the other person’s head, DeAlto says. But the idea here is to keep it as light as possible despite the heavy topic.
Empathy is also key. “This is a personal conversation and a reflection upon you, but it really needs to be about the other person—about making them feel comfortable and informed,” she says.
Think: How would you want to feel? What information would you want to know? Understand this person may freak out, so prepare yourself, DeAlto suggests. Try to minimize that internal alarm as much as possible by not being too blunt or insensitive.
While STDs are not dismissible, don’t go into the conversation thinking it’s doomsday, DeAlto adds. If you’re convinced this person is going to reject you immediately, they may catch on to your fear and start to worry even more. Remember, many STDs are treatable, and in general, can be less of a big deal than many people are ingrained to think. So try to focus on the reassuring aspects of your situation—without downplaying it—and strategies that the two of you can use to minimize the risks.
6. Give them space.
Allow the other person time to process all this new info. “This is not a decision they should be making rashly,” DeAlto says. Offer to spend the rest of the night just chilling or head home for the night, so they don’t feel pressured to make this massive decision on the fly.
End with: “I know this is a lot of information. We don’t have to make any decisions tonight. I’m cool with whatever you decide, and I can answer any questions you have, but I wanted to do this so you have the decision that I didn’t have.”
Sample Script
Based on the experts’ advice, here’s a way of introducing the topic that you can make your own:
“I really like you, and I’m really attracted to you, but before things go any further, I just want to let you know I found out that I have herpes/HPV/gonorrhea/another STD in X year. I haven’t had an outbreak in X years/months. I don’t have an outbreak now. I take this medication or practice this preventive care. As long as we use a condom, your chances of becoming infected are X. I’ve never infected a partner since my diagnosis [if applicable], but I wanted to do this before we you felt like your judgment might be compromised. I don’t want you to feel misled.”
You can also use this as a platform to find out their status, DeAlto says: “Along those lines, given this experience, I’m wondering when the last time you were tested was.” Ask in a way that doesn’t feel accusatory, but everyone who is having sex on a regular basis should be getting tested, so it’s totally a valid question.
The Takeaway
Remember you're doing the right thing, even though it's tough. “You’re giving the other person an opportunity that maybe you weren’t given before you were infected,” DeAlto says. If you lay it all out in a way that shows you’re knowledgeable about the subject, you're considerate, and you care about them, chances are they'll appreciate your honesty, no matter what they decide to do from there.
And if they bail after hearing the news? Remember it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean you'll be single forever. The upside is that you know why they decided to move on, and it's their decision. There are plenty of people out there who'll recognize how awesome you are, regardless of your STD status.
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Weight Loss - Keeping The Weight Off For Good
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Why Loving Your Body Is Not an Excuse to Do Nothing
In 2016, the "love your body" movement took off. The premise, as I am sure you're aware, is to love your body right now.
The message is that whether you're the fittest woman on the the planet or if you have 200 pounds to lose, love your body. No matter what our size is, there is something beautiful in the reflection it gives. Loving our bodies is about loving ourselves, unconditionally, inside and out. Forget about why your pants are tight or how if you tilt your head down, a double chin forms. We are more than the "imperfections" we see. We are amazing creatures that are strong and capable.
Yes, all of us! And our bodies do not define us. It's a powerful message, right? One that I love and respect.
But I also kind of hate it. A lot.
Hear me out on this one, before I receive hate mail from beautiful women all over the world. The true meaning of the movement is awesome, and when taken as it's meant to be, it's the perfect motivator to better yourself.
However, we're human, and oftentimes, we interpret the meaning how we want to, whether it's out of laziness or "settling." That's the part of the "love your body" movement I'm not happy with.
Settling for the Current
Not everyone applies the meaning of the "love your body" movement this way, of course. But I have witnessed it firsthand as a gym owner, a fitness advocate, and someone that just reads sh*t (blog comments are oh-so-fun sometimes).
It seriously needs to be addressed. Like now.
The problem is that some women are taking the meaning literally. Love your body how it is right now and accept it.
This saddens my heart.
Inner dialogue turns to this: "Fifty pounds overweight? Well, I'll just love myself 50 pounds overweight and settle. I'll accept that this is my body, and though it's not healthy, it's perfect as is because it's mine. And my body is perfect. This is they way I'm 'supposed' to be."
Um, that's not quite what the love your body movement is about.
And can I quickly address this "supposed to be" argument? I've heard it time and time and time again. Who made the rules and pointed at each person, announcing, "This is the way you're supposed to be! Get over it and accept it!" No one! You are in charge of that decision. It's not about settling. It's not about letting go. It's not about being satisfied with where you are. A life without progress is extremely boring. It pretty much equates to sitting on the couch all day binge-watching Netflix and eating a bag of chips.
So what is this movement really about?
- It's about loving yourself enough to want to be better.
- It's about accepting where you are today, but not where you can be tomorrow.
- It's about self-love as opposed to obsessing over the girl next to you on the treadmill. You know the one. She's thin, doesn't have a single cellulite dimple, and is toned from squatting maybe 15-pound dumbbells. Trust me: She's also comparing herself to you and picking out the things she wishes she had.
- It's about creating your own individual journey with self-motivation, goals, and reasons.
Accepting Your Body Today But Not Tomorrow
I heard a metaphor a few weeks ago in the book Practicing Mind that I cannot get out of my head. It's like a Taylor Swift song, except instead of yelling, "Get out of my head," I'm praying that it stays there. I've shared it with boot campers, friends, in emails, even in a previous post, but today I want to elaborate on it a bit more.
Your body is like a flower.
At what stage is a flower perfect? Ever stopped to think about it?
When it's a seed, it's perfect at being a seed. It doesn't sit under a layer of moist dirt, doubting its abilities to sprout. It doesn't say, "How the hell am I going to get out of this mess? I'm so small, and the dirt is so heavy." No, it just does its perfect little thing to become a perfect little sprout. Then it grows taller and stronger and becomes a perfect bud.
From there, that bud turns into a beautiful flower that is, in fact, perfect. Once the flower blooms and spreads its pollen, it's perfect at becoming more dirt for the next little seed.
Every stage of the flower is perfect… and you are too.
If you're out of shape right now, you're perfect at being out of shape. That feeling of being out of shape helps you push to be in better shape. It's where you need to be right now to have the drive to be better!
As you get in better shape, you begin to see just what your body is capable of. You experience the exercise momentum and find that you can set even bigger goals. That's the place you're supposed to be at that moment.
If you eat crap all the time, that's okay for today. The feelings of low energy and sugar headaches encourage you to tweak your diet for tomorrow. Knowing what it feels like to live on a poor diet makes you appreciate a clean one 100 times more.
If I Accepted My Body
If I accepted my body for the way it is, I would just sit back and do the same workout every single day. Why improve when I could put minimal work into maintaining what I have now?
If I accepted my body for the way it is, I would have no goals. I wouldn't have signed up the Tactical Strength Challenge (holy smokes, did I really sign up for this?). I wouldn't have signed up for two 50Ks, and I sure as heck wouldn't have pushed myself as hard as I did yesterday with the soreness I am feeling today. And I sure as hell wouldn't be able to encourage other women to strive to be a better version of themselves. I wouldn't be able to do my job. Live out my passions. Live my fitness.
That's boring and sh*tty.
I will never accept myself now as how I'll be forever. I appreciate who I am but know that tomorrow is a new me and a new opportunity to be better.
How to Love Your Body
Let's end on this: You can love your body by treating it the best you can. You only get one, so make it last.
Love your body so much that you take it for workouts.
Love your body so much that you fill it with foods that enrich it and make it feel better.
Love your body so much that you don't settle for where you are right now.
Love your body so much that you show it respect, rest, and care.
Why is it that we wouldn't think twice about our caring for our dogs? We walk them, give them special foods, and yank away food they get ahold of that we think is bad for them. Yet when it comes to our own bodies, we have such a hard time treating it with love and care.
That brings me to the final thought and magical word: care.
Loving your body means you care for it. Think about it.
Note: This post contains my personal progress pictures. This is not to discourage others or to compare one body to another, but to share my experiences, thoughts, and personal progress. I thought this post would be more "real" with pictures I keep of my own personal journey. I hope you agree.
This article originally appeared on Lifting Revolution and was republished with the author's permission. Taylor Ryan is a blogger and personal trainer who runs a boot camp business in Charleston, South Carolina. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
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These Incredible Snow Murals Are Unlike Anything We’ve Seen
Cold weather isn't stopping this guy from breaking a sweat. In this video, Simon Beck explains how he makes murals in the snow using nothing but ski poles and snowshoes. (If we were that talented, we'd have an easier time getting out from under the covers in the middle of winter.) His masterpieces take almost 40,000 steps and eight hours to complete, so his creative release is also a major workout. Between the beautiful shots of Utah's Powder Mountain and Beck's creations, we can't stop watching.
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Why You're Doing Everything Right and Still Not Losing Weight
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You Won't Call It the Dreadmill After Watching This Video
Treadmill dancing videos are trendy at the moment. But that doesn't make them any less fun to watch, especially this one with perfectly synchronized dance moves from German duo Run a Beat. Watching these two guys effortlessly float around—they do some gravity-defying upper-body moves at 1:40—made us forget that we usually feel like hamsters on a wheel during treadmill workouts. This is one of those things you probably shouldn't try at home, so we'll settle for hitting replay (again).
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Why Tracking Your Workouts Might Actually Be a Bad Thing
Fitbits and Jawbones track your sleep, steps, and heart rate (including how it spikes in the middle of a breakup). But a new study found that collecting all of that data makes whatever you're doing a lot less fun.
The study looked at two groups who spent time coloring, walking, or reading, and tracked one group but not the other. The people in the group that was tracked did their activity the most. But there's a big catch: They also rated themselves as enjoying the activities much less than those who weren't measured.
The researchers found that measurement makes people focus almost exclusively on output. All of a sudden exercising (or coloring or reading) feels a lot like work. The thinking goes: Work is something we have to get done, so it's not as much fun as the kickboxing class we do just for the thrill of it.
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This Powerful Dance Shows What It’s Like to Experience Addiction
As any fan of So You Think You Can Dance will tell you, a choreographed routine can really bring on the feels. And boy oh boy does this one deliver. It follows a couple as one partner struggles with addiction. Since the story is communicated through dance, the specifics are up for interpretation, but the intense movements and emotions make this hypnotizing to watch, while sending an important message that addiction is a brutal, ongoing struggle.
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Here’s Why Swiping Right Isn’t Getting You Anywhere
Tinder has changed the dating landscape for good. And man, this video about the downsides of the dating app is depressing. Long gone are the days when we read through a full dating profile before sending a rambling message. And meeting someone IRL? That’s so 1990.
Now we swipe to our heart’s content. And many people aren’t looking for love or even a warm body for cuffing season. They’re just swiping for swiping’s sake—after all, Tinder is designed to be addictive, just like Candy Crush or Angry Birds. All of this makes it a little less surprising that 42 percent of Tinder users aren’t single. Perhaps they’re bored or looking for the instant gratification of a quick, virtual match. (We envision couples lying next to each other on the couch, swiping to see who gets the most matches. Loser has to clean the dishes.) Regardless, the stat is yet another reason not to get your hopes up with every new match.
Luckily, there are more fish in the sea, and Tinder is one big ocean (there are more than 100 million users). But that becomes a problem too. Sure, your first date went well, but was there really a spark? It’s easy for the grass to seem greener when you know the perfect person could be just a swipe away. And that can make the dates you do go on seem superficial: Is it worth getting emotionally invested if one or both of you decide you'd rather go back to swiping? It's enough to make us give up on dating apps. Even a seedy bar sounds more appealing—you may not meet your soul mate, but at least you'll get a drink.
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Benefits Of Using Hair Brush Straighteners
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Are You on Track to Meet Your Fitness Goals?
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Autophagy: The Real Way to Cleanse Your Body
For the last time, forget juice cleanses and detox diets. They’re fluffy nonsense words. While there’s probably nothing wrong with drinking your weight in liquid kale, it won’t flush out toxins any faster than if you were eating, you know, actual food.
The good news: There's a little-known way your body does cleanse itself, and it’s a process that you can control.
All you need to do is practice a little self-cannibalism. What? Yes, you can actually train your body to eat itself—and believe it or not, you want it to.
It's a natural process called autophagy (literally “self-eating”), and it’s the body’s system of cleaning house: Your cells create membranes that hunt out scraps of dead, diseased, or worn-out cells; gobble them up; strip ’em for parts; and use the resulting molecules for energy or to make new cell parts.
“Think of it as our body’s innate recycling program,” says Colin Champ, M.D., a board-certified radiation oncologist, assistant professor at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, and author of Misguided Medicine. “Autophagy makes us more efficient machines to get rid of faulty parts, stop cancerous growths, and stop metabolic dysfunction like obesity and diabetes.”
There’s also evidence that the process plays a hand in controlling inflammation and immunity. And when scientists engineer rats that are incapable of autophagy, they’re fatter, sleepier, and have higher cholesterol and impaired brains.1
To sum it up, autophagy is key to slowing the aging process.2 And you can learn how to do it better.
3 Ways to Self-Destruct
"So how do I eat myself?” is a question you probably haven’t asked before, but we’re about to tell you. First of all, autophagy is a response to stress, so you’re actually going to want to put your body through stress in order to drum up a little extra auto-cannibalism. (We know this article keeps getting weirder, but trust us.)
As is often the case, short-term discomfort can bring long-term benefits. Here are three main ways to boost your autophagy.
1. Exercise
In case the sweating, grunting, and post-workout pain didn’t tip you off, here’s a reminder: Exercise puts stress on the body. Working out actually damages your muscles, causing tiny microscopic tears that the body then rushes to heal, making the muscles stronger and more resistant to any further “damage” you might put it through.
Regular exercise is the most popular way that people unintentionally help their body to cleanse. (So there’s actually something to that fresh, renewed feeling you get after working out.)
Regular exercise is the most popular way that people unintentionally help their body to cleanse.
One study looked at autophagosomes, structures that form around the pieces of cells that the body has decided to recycle.3 After engineering mice to have glowing green autophagosomes (as one does), scientists found that the rate at which the mice were healthily demolishing their own cells drastically increased after they ran for 30 minutes on a treadmill. The rate continued increasing until they’d been running for 80 minutes. (This actually inspired the study’s lead scientist to buy a treadmill.)
What about humans? “Determining the level of exercise needed to stimulate autophagy, and the extent to which the process is upregulated, are hard questions to answer at the moment,” says Daniel Klionsky, Ph.D., a cellular biologist at the University of Michigan who specializes in autophagy. “(But) clearly exercise has many benefits, aside from the possible role of autophagy, so that is probably a good bet in general.” And if you like tough workouts, all the better: Champ recommends relatively intense exercise for maximum benefits.
2. Fast
Ironically for folks who "cleanse" by drinking juice, the act of eating actually works against autophagy. Skipping meals, it turns out, is another stressful act that the body may not immediately love but ultimately benefits from.
In fact, research has shown there are loads of benefits to an occasional fast, and some of them—like lower risks of diabetes and heart disease—might be attributed to autophagy.4
It’s also pretty remarkable how much research has focused specifically on the way fasting promotes autophagy in the brain, suggesting that it could be an effective way to lower the risk of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.5
In some studies, intermittent fasting was shown to improve cognitive function, brain structure, and neuroplasticity, which may help the brain to learn more easily.6 That said, it wasn’t totally clear if autophagy was the cause; plus, those studies were done on rodents. People aren’t rodents, and we can’t always assume the benefits will be the same for us humans.
In any case, here's our quick guide to intermittent fasting. Practitioners usually forego food for anywhere from 12 to 36 hours at a time, making sure to drink plenty of water. (Also limit activity and work during a fast—no exercise besides gentle yoga or stretching.)
3. Lower Your Carb Intake
While Champ fasts for 18 hours per day a couple times per week, he recognizes that for the average Joe, that can be a tough routine to follow. Simply forgoing food on the odd occasion seems to work (one study showed a lower risk of heart disease from just one fast day per month), but there’s another way to get similar benefits without giving up your favorite rib eye (though you’ll probably need to quit candy).
It’s called ketosis, and it’s an increasingly popular diet among bodybuilders and anyone seeking a longer lifespan. The idea is to reduce carbohydrates to such low levels that the body has no choice but to use fat as a fuel source instead.
Ketosis is like an autophagy hack. You get a lot of the same metabolic changes and benefits of fasting without actually fasting.
Ketosis can help people lose body fat while retaining muscle, and there’s some evidence that it helps the body fight cancerous tumors, lowers the risk of diabetes, and protects against some brain disorders, particularly epilepsy. (Research showed that more than half of children with epilepsy who go on the diet have at least a 50 percent reduction in seizures.)
“Ketosis is like an autophagy hack,” Champ says. “You get a lot of the same metabolic changes and benefits of fasting without actually fasting.”
Keto diets are super high fat: Between 60 and 70 percent of one’s overall calories should come from fat. (Lots of steak, bacon, and peanut butter shakes are a definite bonus for the keto crowd.) Protein makes up 20 to 30 percent of calories, while carbs are kept below 50 grams per day.
But if staying in ketosis sounds even harder than not eating at all, take heart. Similar benefits have been noted in people following a diet in which carbs didn’t exceed 30 percent of their overall calories, Champ says.7
Is There an Easier Way?
Nah. But there’s a lot money to be made if researchers can distill the benefits of autophagy into a pill, so you can be sure they’re trying.
“Of course people are looking for ways to induce autophagy through chemicals, because it would be easier than dieting,” Klionsky says, but he cautions that we’re a long way off.
Champ notes that anti-epileptic drugs are being developed that mimic the effects of ketosis. If they become available to the broader public, there’s a chance we’ll be able to pop a pill that cranks up autophagy with practically no effort.
Still, don't get your hopes up: “There are so many metabolic changes that take place during ketosis that mimicking all of them with a pill might not be possible,” Champ says. “The bodily stress that comes with entering ketosis might be necessary for the benefits.”
Just remember: You don’t have to fast, stay in ketosis, or exercise intensely all day every day to experience these benefits—even a few hours of any of these activities can help.
The Takeaway
There’s a pretty strong case to be made that stress and self-destruction lengthens your lifespan. “It’s our ancestral and evolutionary response to dealing with feast and famine in times of stress,” Champ says. “Since a lot of these things would kill us, like starvation and exercise, it only makes sense that after millions of years we adapted those mechanisms to make them positive.”
Klionsky notes that there’s still a lot we don’t know about the process, and it’s too early to definitively say that autophagy will cure cancer, make you a genius, and stave off aging for good.
There’s a pretty strong case to be made that stress and self-destruction lengthens your lifespan.
“One fundamental problem is that it is still difficult to monitor autophagy in a living organism, especially a human,” he says.
The bottom line: Regular exercise and occasional carbohydrate restriction carry mountains of benefits in addition to their likely impact on autophagy. The best that could happen is a stronger, leaner, and cleaner body. That’s our kind of detox.
Works Cited
- Loss of autophagy in pro-opiomelanocortin neurons perturbs axon growth and causes metabolic dysregulation. Coupé B, Ishii Y, Dietrich MO. Cell metabolism, 2012, Jan.;15(2):1932-7420.
- Autophagy and aging: the importance of maintaining "clean" cells. Cuervo AM, Bergamini E, Brunk UT. Autophagy, 2005, Oct.;1(3):1554-8627. Autophagy maintains stemness by preventing senescence. García-Prat L, Martínez-Vicente M, Perdiguero E. Nature, 2016, Jan.;529(7584):1476-4687.
- Exercise-induced BCL2-regulated autophagy is required for muscle glucose homeostasis. He C, Bassik MC, Moresi V. Nature, 2012, Jan.;481(7382):1476-4687.
- Effect of intermittent fasting and refeeding on insulin action in healthy men. Halberg N, Henriksen M, Söderhamn N. Journal of applied physiology (Bethesda, Md. : 1985), 2005, Jul.;99(6):8750-7587. Usefulness of routine periodic fasting to lower risk of coronary artery disease in patients undergoing coronary angiography. Horne BD, May HT, Anderson JL. The American journal of cardiology, 2008, Jul.;102(7):0002-9149.
- Short-term fasting induces profound neuronal autophagy. Alirezaei M, Kemball CC, Flynn CT. Autophagy, 2010, Aug.;6(6):1554-8635. Disruption of neuronal autophagy by infected microglia results in neurodegeneration. Alirezaei M, Kiosses WB, Flynn CT. PloS one, 2008, Aug.;3(8):1932-6203. Autophagic neuron death. Uchiyama Y, Koike M, Shibata M. Methods in enzymology, 2009, Apr.;453():1557-7988. Loss of autophagy in pro-opiomelanocortin neurons perturbs axon growth and causes metabolic dysregulation. Coupé B, Ishii Y, Dietrich MO. Cell metabolism, 2012, Jan.;15(2):1932-7420.
- Chronic intermittent fasting improves cognitive functions and brain structures in mice. Li L, Wang Z, Zuo Z. PloS one, 2013, Jun.;8(6):1932-6203. Meal size and frequency affect neuronal plasticity and vulnerability to disease: cellular and molecular mechanisms. Mattson MP, Duan W, Guo Z. Journal of neurochemistry, 2003, Feb.;84(3):0022-3042. Cardioprotective effect of intermittent fasting is associated with an elevation of adiponectin levels in rats. Wan R, Ahmet I, Brown M. The Journal of nutritional biochemistry, 2009, May.;21(5):1873-4847. Late-onset intermittent fasting dietary restriction as a potential intervention to retard age-associated brain function impairments in male rats. Singh R, Lakhanpal D, Kumar S. Age (Dordrecht, Netherlands), 2011, Aug.;34(4):1574-4647.
- Effect of dietary macronutrient composition on AMPK and SIRT1 expression and activity in human skeletal muscle. Draznin B, Wang C, Adochio R. Hormone and metabolic research = Hormon- und Stoffwechselforschung = Hormones et métabolisme, 2012, Jun.;44(9):1439-4286.
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