Weight Loss - Four Cereals You Can Feel Good About Eating

It is no secret; breakfast is often the hardest meal of the day to eat healthily and the one meal most people struggle with. If you find yourself stopping for a donut, a croissant, or some other unwise breakfast option, it is time to make a few changes. Fortunately, not all breakfast cereals are considered bad news. Many on the market are lower in total calories and contain virtually no sugar. Those are the ones you want to help yourself to. Consider mixing whey protein powder with unsweetened vanilla almond milk to combine with your chosen breakfast cereal. This way, you will get a healthy dose of fast and convenient protein to go with your carbs, making the entire meal much smarter.

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Not Sure How to Have a Healthy Life? Here You Can Get Some Ideas

What is the most beautiful think we possess? It's life... that needs extra care and love. But, we usually fail to take maximum care of it. Rather emphasize on having an unhealthy lifestyle which naturally leads to complicated health problems. Though, it is a desire of every individual to have a fit body and mind, but we take things for granted. Having a positive mindset along with a healthy lifestyle can surely increase your life span.

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Trying to Lose Weight? Follow These 10 Easy Tips

If you are trying to lose weight, small things and habits can go a long way. Find more on how you can effectively use different tips for better results.

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Generic Medicines and Healthcare

A generic drug is off patent and it can be manufactured and supplied freely. A generic drug may be used interchangeably.with with innovator drug. However the pretested results for efficacy and safety are not available for generic drug. Generic drug reduces prices and increases access to pharmacological therapy

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7 Reasons Sex Is Great for You (That Have Nothing to Do With Your Relationship)

It ain't exactly news that sex is awesome. Aside from the fact that it, you know, feels good, sex also plays a critical role in developing intimacy with our partners. But it turns out that an active sex life is also really good for your overall health—and we're not just talking about sexual wellness. Here's why getting lucky is amazing for your whole body.

1. Sex is good for your heart health.

Get that blood flowing, and a lot of good things happen. "Men who make love at least two times a week are 45 percent less likely to have heart disease than men who have sex only once a month or less, according to a study by the New England Research Institute," says urologist Jamin Brahmbhatt, M.D.

EDITOR'S PICK

Women reap the heart-healthy benefits of sex too. A 2016 study found that women who said they had frequent, extremely satisfying sex had a lower risk of hypertension, a common precursor to heart disease. "Regular sexual activity increases blood flow, resulting in lower blood pressure and decreased stress levels," says sex expert Antonia Hall, M.A.

2. Getting it on straight-up makes you happier...

Of course we feel contentment when we achieve closer intimacy with our partners, but sex might be more of a therapy session than you think. "A study of 30,000 American men and women performed between 1989 and 2012 found that having sex at least once a week in a committed relationship was enough to make people happy," Brahmbhatt says.

"And studies show that men and women who have intercourse with their partners have greater satisfaction with their mental health." (Unfortunately, there's no evidence to suggest that those particular benefits also applied to masturbation—but we've already covered the benefits and downsides to that.)

3. ... and can benefit your mental health and memory.

Beyond feelings of happiness, healthy sexual activity has a ton of positive impact on our overall mental health. "Sexual activity may help guard against mental health issues, like anxiety," says Talkspace therapist Rachel O'Neill, Ph.D., LPCC-S.

And if you want to ensure that you're unforgettable in the bedroom, the secret might just be… having sex. "Frequency of sexual intercourse was associated with improved memory and condition skills," O'Neill says. And Hall notes that there's evidence to suggest that sex leads to new neuron growth in the brain.

4. It can even decrease cancer risk.

Sure it sounds like an excuse someone might give to get some nookie, but it’s actually true. “Men can decrease the likelihood of getting prostate cancer when they ejaculate more frequently, and women experience an increase in estrogen, which reduces the risk of breast cancer,” Hall says.

5. And improves pelvic fitness.

Get those kegels going! “Sex strengthens the pelvic wall for better bladder control,” Hall says. “And when the pelvic floor is stronger, a woman has fewer cramps and has an easier time giving birth.” Yes, please.

6. You might find it offers you pain relief.

Migraine sufferers, rejoice—sex actually can help relieve headaches, as well as other forms of pain. “A 2013 survey of 1,000 headache sufferers found that 30 percent of those with cluster headaches and 60 percent of those with migraines reported partial or total pain relief if they had sex during an episode,” Brahmbhatt says.

7. And sex will almost definitely help you sleep better.

You might have noticed that if you have sex before bed, you simply sleep a lot better—and better sleep helps you have better sex too. Yeah, it’s kind of a win/win.

Aly Walansky is a New York-based lifestyles writer. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @alywalansky.



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3 Ways to Stop Wasting Your Talents

Why People Don't Understand Acupuncture & Chiropractic

There are over 100,000 holistic healthcare professionals in the US, yet the majority of the public is unaware of the benefits they provide. Why?

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Fail-Safe Tips For Deep Sleep - One Is Bound To Work For You

When drifting off is a struggle, it may seem like one of life's greatest frustrations. It needn't. In most cases, choices made during the day can have a big impact on whether going to sleep is a pleasure or a nightmare.

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Is Oat Milk the New Almond Milk?

From this year's overnight oats craze to the rise of savory porridge, the humble oat has had a breakout year. Its most recent accomplishment? Becoming milk. Whether you’re vegan, dairy-free, or just love a good plant-based milk alternative, you’ve likely heard about the dairy-free milk that’s suddenly splashed onto the scene, finding its way into coffee shops and grocery stores across the country.

But before we put all our oats in one basket, there are a few things we ought to know before committing. Like, is it actually made out of oats? Can it be trusted in our coffee? And what would happen if you put oat milk... in your... oatmeal? We know you have questions. So we took a deep (metaphorical) dive into the world of oat milk to dig up the answers you deserve.

OK, so what is it?

Oat milk is a nut-free, dairy-free milk alternative made from strained oats. (Yep, the same kind you’ve been eating for breakfast.) How do oats become milk, you ask? The process is actually quite simple—and very DIY-able. Soak steel-cut or old-fashioned oats in water, blend until smooth, strain out the remaining solids, and drink up! You can keep the homemade stuff in the fridge for up to four days.

Why is it so popular?

OK, well, first of all, oats are so hot right now. Second, this milk is lower in fat than most dairy varieties and higher in protein than some of its other plant-based competitors like almond milk and coconut milk (though it's important to note that soy milk, pea protein milk, and dairy milk still come out on top for this one). And since the process keeps all of the soluble fiber intact, oat milk has one of the highest fiber contents of ALL the milks, including almond, coconut, and even cow's milk!

So if you’re looking for a milk alternative with a great taste and better texture that will keep you full for longer, this might just be the milk for you. Oat milk also is rich in beta-glucan, which can help keep cholesterol levels in check.

Nutritional benefits aside, oat milk is naturally creamy and sweet, and lots of people are reporting it’s the best-tasting milk alternative on the block.

Are there any downsides?

Though it’s got a lot going on for it nutritionally, oat milk tends to be higher in calories. One cup of this stuff has somewhere around 130—compared to almond milk and soy milk, which, unsweetened, even out at around 30 and 80 calories, respectively. In other words, if you’re cutting the cals, oat milk probably shouldn’t be your go-to beverage. Also, some brands can be insanely high in sugar, so be sure to check the nutrition label before adding it to everything you eat or drink. That being said, it's creamy and delicious, so when you're feeling up for it, go ahead and treat yourself.

Who should avoid it?

Don’t hop on the oat milk bandwagon if you’re a proper caveman or are on the keto diet, since oats are grains, and grains are, sadly, off-limits. Those who are looking for low-sugar options should be sure to check the label (it can vary from brand to brand) or make their own version at home. But if you’re vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, and have nut allergies to boot, these oats are yours for the taking.

What should I use it for?

Obviously, it’s delicious enough to guzzle down a whole carton on its own. But we think oat milk also comes out on top in several contexts. Due to its rich texture, it’s starting to become the plant-based milk of choice when it comes to coffee. The heavier consistency makes it perfect for latte art, and adding it cold to any iced coffee or latte will give you a creaminess that goes even beyond whole milk. Since it’s on the sweeter side, it’s also great in smoothies and matcha lattes.

Where can I find it?

If you’re sold on this sweet nectar of the oat—and honestly, who isn’t?—scan your local grocery store or look online for Oatly, the Swedish brand that recently rose to fame in U.S. artisan coffee shops. Within the past year, it’s spread from being sold in just a few New York shops to more than 1,000 locations across the country. Oatly also offers low-fat, chocolate, and super-foamable barista varieties, so you can keep it light, drink it as a sweet snack, or froth it like there's no tomorrow.

Is it a good thing that it might be replacing almond milk?

Unless dietary restrictions prevent you from doing so, mix up your milks when you can. You’ve heard it before: Too much of anything can be bad—especially when it comes to the effects some food crazes can have on the environment.

As almond milk rose to worldwide domination popularity, drastically more land, water, and even bees were diverted to growing these nuts. (And it turns out almonds are really thirsty crops grown in a drought-prone area—80 percent of the world's supply is grown in California!) The amount of water diverted from rivers to grow almonds is so significant, the California king salmon population is now under threat. Oats, however, require just one-sixth of the water needed to grow almonds. So, though it might not be top of mind, thinking about switching to the oat life might actually be good for you—and for Mother Earth.



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19 Gluten-Free Appetizers for Summer Cookouts

Weight Loss - Try Eating Just Lunch and Dinner

There is an endless variety of dieting techniques out there. It has arrived at a point that anyone who wants to advertise or promote their eating strategy has to go to great effort to capture attention as there are so many varieties of weight loss plans. Frequently, this means pushing ideas that are far from conventional. While the need to continue to try a new approach to weight loss has resulted in some exciting and, at times, useful dieting strategies, more often than not these strategies are not inherently healthy and may cause problems. But what about the basics?

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Anxiety May Be Affecting Your Gut Health—and Vice Versa. Here's Why.

If nervousness feels like butterflies in your stomach, anxiety can feel like a small, live rodent loudly nesting in there, pushing things around, making you wish you hadn't eaten that day. For some anxiety sufferers, deeply unpleasant digestive problems are extremely common—even though stomach troubles aren't exactly the first symptoms we tend to associate with anxiety.

When we think of anxiety, we typically picture panic attacks, which are often characterized by a racing heart, trouble breathing, and warped vision. But if your anxiety is frequently accompanied by various kinds of digestive discomfort, you're far from alone. Stomach problems tend to be less debilitating than panic attacks, but loud gurgling, stomach pain, gas, nausea, and diarrhea can be embarrassing, inconvenient, and seriously uncomfortable when you're trying to get through your day. Especially if that day involves a big date or work presentation—which may have sparked your anxiety to begin with.

The Brain-Gut Connection

Daniela Jodorkovsky, M.D., a gastroenterologist at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center, says that the relationship between gastrointestinal discomfort and anxiety is "very complex," but offers a couple of explanations for the link between anxious feelings and stomach-churning.

"The GI tract is considered the 'second brain' because it contains many nerves, which send signals back and forth to the brain," she says. "Chronic stress and anxiety release a compound in the brain called corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF). This can have effects on spasms or diarrhea, as well as increased pain signaling from the nerve fibers of the gut to the brain."

So it makes perfect sense that anxiety-brain can lead to anxiety-stomach—the connection between the brain and the digestive system is strong in the human body, and that's before complicating factors like anxiety disorders or IBS even enter the picture.

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America estimates that at least half—and up to 90 percent—of IBS sufferers also have anxiety and/or depression, which makes sense, considering IBS is the condition of having a sensitive colon, which is easily upset by certain foods or by stress. "Having anxiety and/or depression are independent risk factors for the development of irritable bowel syndrome, but even those without anxiety disorders can notice their symptoms worsening when they are feeling anxious or stressed," Jodorkovsky says.

EDITOR'S PICK

Anxiety: Why?

Anxiety, like most human experiences, is theorized to have had a purpose in our biological development as a species—what Walter Bradford termed the "fight-or-flight" response in the early part of the 20th century.

"When we're anxious, our bodies believe we're in danger, and that has historically been very useful," says New York-based psychotherapist Nicole Reiner, LMHC. This kind of response made sense when early humans were, say, running from saber-toothed cats, but nowadays, "we find that our stomachs become collateral damage," Reiner says.

So while it might be helpful when faced with a large, hungry cat or a bear, most modern anxiety-sufferers do not benefit from the physiological changes of anxiety, including but not limited to blood flow being diverted to the muscles (to aid in running or fighting) and away from other body parts, such as the digestive system.

How to Handle It

Because the GI tract and anxiety are so closely related, it's not always obvious what physical symptoms are caused by IBS, or anxiety, or IBS as a result of anxiety—so it can be useful to take a two-pronged approach.

Reiner urges her clients to tackle the problem not just psychologically, but medically, as well. "When someone is reporting debilitating stomach issues, I will first direct them to a gastroenterologist or primary care physician to rule out any underlying issues," she says. Even if your symptoms seem to be spiked by anxiety, there might be a physical cause that therapy or psychiatry alone cannot treat.

But if symptoms can't be fully treated through other means, there are practical ways of dealing with anxiety-induced (or worsened) GI discomfort when it arises. For some patients, Reiner suggests breathing exercises as a way to manage the physical symptoms, as well as the feeling of anxiety itself.

"Diaphragmatic breathing relaxes your stomach," she says. "Breathe in really slowly for about five counts, hold it in, and breathe it out for somewhere between six and eight counts." This can help turn on the rest-and-digest response, the body's natural recovery mechanism to fight-or-flight, Reiner says.

Jodorkovsky says that hypervigilance is one pitfall you can try to avoid. "When we are anxious, our bodies become 'hyper-aware' of our symptoms, as if the nerve signals are amplified. This makes the symptoms even more distressing than they would otherwise be."

Reiner refers to the tendency to constantly check in with your physical pain or discomfort as "body-scanning" and says that "the more we look for something, the more likely we are to find it." It's a vicious cycle: The anxiety and discomfort make us hyper-aware of how bad we feel, and focusing on how bad we feel makes us feel worse.

Of course, it's nearly impossible to just ignore debilitating pain and discomfort, so Reiner recommends practicing mindfulness meditation instead. "It's a different way of being with the pain—paying attention to the moment with curiosity and kindness. You're noticing your pain, but not becoming consumed by it."

It’s important to resist ways of managing symptoms that are potentially unhealthy and unhelpful—such as avoiding food. While it may seem intuitive to refrain from eating if you’re anticipating your body having trouble digesting, there are, predictably, some major problems with depriving your body of nourishment. However, your doctor may suggest you steer clear of certain foods or avoid eating close to bedtime (both common strategies for gut healing).

"When you're not eating, you're more likely to be jittery and anxious," Reiner says. "The anxiety gets worse, not better." It's important to continue taking care of your body in all of the ways you normally would. And remember: Like all bouts of anxiety, this, too, shall pass.

Ariana DiValentino is a writer and filmmaker based in Brooklyn. She is very, very worried. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter.



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The Best (and Worst) Foods for Your Gut

The Beginner’s Guide to Better Gut Health

The One Test That Made Me Take My Gut Health Seriously

Time for a little overshare: Recently, I've been experiencing some seriously awkward bloating after meals, feeling like I swallowed a balloon that just won't pop. This is a new development—and frankly, it sucks. Despite the fact that I eat fairly well, I just haven't been feeling right.

So I started to pay more attention to the way different types of foods made me feel—including dairy, gluten, alcohol, and sugar. You know, my best food friends.

Of course, I knew the problem probably lay in my gut. Like everyone else, I’ve been reading tons about how the trillions of bacteria in your digestive tract—a.k.a. the gut microbiome—affect everything from weight, inflammation, and digestion to sleep issues, allergies, and stress. The truth is, the more we find out, the more our understanding of the gut has the power to transform the way we manage our health and fight illness. Pretty epic.

But I had no idea how to apply this new scientific knowledge to my newly miserable gut. As I paid attention to my diet, no easy pattern emerged—none of the foods I was tracking seemed to be the culprit. People suggested probiotics, but I didn't know where to start, and besides, everyone's body works differently, right? I wanted to know what really made my system tick.

In search of an at-home gut-testing kit, I found Viome.

Curious, I tried it out—which meant that yes, I collected a tiny sample of my poop (the process is way less gross than you might expect) and sent it off. Mailing my poop felt a little weird (but it's legal!), and the results ended up being more than worth it.

Unlike most microbiome "assessments," Viome doesn't just identify the bacteria you have in your gut but also what they're doing and how they're interacting with each other. This is all done via some impressive AI work led by the engineer who built IBM Watson—yeah, that IBM Watson.

My results came back, and I was floored.

Turns out, my gut was in pretty bad shape, and it was finally time for me to take my gut health seriously. My Viome results came with actual, actionable recommendations, mostly ones I would never have come up with on my own—and unlike every blood or genetic test I've taken, the recommendation wasn't just "eat healthy and work out more."

  • I learned I should eat less protein, which was a genuine shocker. High-protein diets are all the rage right now, buuuut it turns out I was overfeeding some protein-fermenting bacteria, which have been producing harmful substances and even damaging my gut lining. I was advised not to eat more than 30 to 35 percent protein (and I had definitely been eating way more).
  • I probably have SIBO, which is essentially an issue where your small intestine tries to do work the large intestine should... and it can't because it's, well, smaller). This is a surprisingly common thing, related to the infamous "leaky gut," and potentially the cause of my bloating.
  • I need to watch my stress (duh). But I didn't know the gut produces the majority of your serotonin and that stress can cause low stomach acid, which can lead to all kinds of bad ish if you eat poorly. My Viome app suggested I take digestive enzymes to help, something I had never heard of before—soon, boom, Amazon was sending them my way!
  • I should be more careful about the fruits and vegetables I eat because I had some signs of pesticides and a few vegetable-borne viruses. (So... I guess organic, fresh vegetables win this time.)
  • I should avoid raisins. Not sure why, but that's what the recommendations said. I'm totally happy skipping out on raisins. Raisins are whatever.
  • Finally, I should experiment with intermittent fasting. It turns out I have quite a lot of "bad" bacteria that thrive in "high-calorie environments," so stopping my admittedly pretty constant flow of snacking may help replace these with better bacteria. The rise of popularity for IF can be explained in part by its effect on gut health—pretty interesting, right?

But these were just the results that affect my particular gut. Other people get their own specific results, including recommendations that they should...

  • Eat less spinach. Thirty percent of Viome's customers aren't great at metabolizing oxalates, compounds found in spinach, bran, beets, and some nuts.
  • Not rely on fruits such as raspberries, pomegranate, blackberries, and cranberries as a primary source of antioxidants. They contain ellagic acid, which, if not properly metabolized, is useless.
  • Reconsider eating large amounts of beef, egg yolks, chickpeas, navy beans, peanuts, and split peas. These contain carnitine or choline, which can be converted by bacteria into trimethylamine, which is associated with heart disease.

So is it legit?

Look, I'm as skeptical of things like this as can be.

No test is perfect—it's SUPER early in our understanding of the microbiome, and there's a long way to go. I believe Viome's leading the way, but a lot of these tests are controversial and most are very limited in application. My results almost certainly applied to a snapshot of my gut when I sent off the sample, not all the time—although Helen Messier, Ph.D., M.D., Viome's chief medical officer, told me these tests are pretty consistent if you mostly eat the same way. And Viome isn't cheap—although it's significantly cheaper than most tests like this at a clinic—so it's a big commitment.

But I'm convinced that understanding the gut is an important new area of health full of potential. These results convinced me that getting to know your gut today can be the start of a healthier relationship with yourself—and potentially surprise you with unexpected ways that can help you live a better life. And the more of us who try this, the more we can push our understanding of gut health forward together (not to mention reduce costs over time).

If you'd like to try Viome, you can get $150 off for a limited time only when you use code GREATIST2 at checkout.* (We also make an affiliate cut if you follow through).

I can only speak for myself, but since I started eating less protein, taking digestive enzymes, and generally following Viome's other suggestions, that annoying bloating feeling has mostly disappeared. I'm just beginning my journey to getting to know my gut and how it affects my health—but this feels like one heck of a start!

*Offer valid through Monday, June 18, 2018, 11:59 p.m. PST.



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Easy Ways to Spend Less on Your Favorite Healthy Foods

Leaving an Abusive Relationship Is Incredibly Hard—So Here's the Game Plan

Depressingly, abusive relationships happen all the time, leaving women (and men) feeling trapped in difficult situations. Just this year, Reese Witherspoon revealed her abused past and how finally escaping the relationship changed the course of her life completely. People of all races, classes, and education levels can get caught up in relationships that turn violent, and it's difficult for all of them to find a way out.

Getting out of an abusive relationship is much harder than "just leaving." After a person has belittled you, trashed your self-esteem, or threatened physical harm (or even death), it doesn't leave the survivor with many obvious options. I spoke to psychologists, lawyers, and relationship experts to find out how a partner can safely flee their abuser—because no matter how dire a relationship may seem, there's always an escape route to a better life.

Reconnect

"Reconnect with your friends and family," says clinical psychologist Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy, MPhil. "Often abuse victims have been isolated or gaslighted into thinking they're crazy. But it's easy enough to reconnect."

It can be scary to pick up the phone after you've lost touch, but it's worth it—just call an old friend or family member and tell them what's going on. Even if years have passed, loved ones will be happy to reconnect and give support. Neo says there's only one thing you have to do on these vulnerable calls: "Be honest."

EDITOR'S PICK

Without a social system of support, it's incredibly hard to leave a relationship. But by rekindling old connections, your reliance on your abuser decreases—and it gives you a place to go once the relationship has ended.

So, if you're experiencing abuse, reach out. It doesn't even have to be a best friend or family member. You can tell someone at your place of worship, talk to your doctor, or even speak to the police, Neo says. "Get it all on record. The police may not be useful, but sometimes you need documentation." If you feel uncomfortable with those options, you can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and they'll help you find the resources you need.

Plan and Plan Again

The Lifetime movie version of a battered partner simply runs out the door when her husband finally "takes things too far." Or she shoots him. (I mean, we're talking Lifetime movies.) But in real life, escaping an abuser is rarely a last-minute decision. Of course, if you suddenly fear for your life or feel you must leave now, it's definitely a good idea to escape at a moment's notice, and you can find shelters across the country at DomesticShelters.org.

More often, though, the abused partner considers leaving long before they actually go. And that's a good thing. The more planning that's done in advance, the more successful the separation will be. "The person leaving really needs to plan well and have all of their ducks in a row, emotionally and physically, before they go—if at all possible," says Jean Otto, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist.

Before leaving, it's good to know exactly where you're going to stay. That could mean renting an apartment, arranging to stay with friends, or contacting a shelter. "Pack a suitcase," says Otto, "and put it in the car trunk or at a friend's house, just in case." Though it may take a while to leave, at least you'll be ready to go at the best possible moment.

The more planning that's done in advance, th emore successful the separation will be.

Then, you'll need your own bank account, preferably with enough money to get by for a month or two, Otto says. If you can't save up that much, simply having your own checking account or line of credit will help you retain independence once you leave.

And don't be afraid to ask for money. Yes, it feels awful to ask for money, but this is a time when that money can help start a new life. More often than not, people are happy to help, even if it's just a $20 donation here and there.

In addition to money and housing plans, Otto suggests taking care of mental health needs before and after leaving. Don't wait to see a therapist till after it's all over. Begin talking to someone you trust. Then, that person will be able to help you through the transition at the end of the relationship and aid you in the aftermath of emotions that come with leaving. (And if you're worried about the cost, here are 81 awesome mental health resources for when you can't afford a therapist.)

Lastly, go over the plan again and leave when you won't likely get confronted. "Plan the day, time, pack your clothes, leave a note, change and secure passwords, and keep a close friend or family member copied on your plans," says divorce attorney and relationship expert Vikki Zeigler, Esq.

Try to leave when the partner is out of town or at a consistent time when they're out of the house. Zeigler says to think about your exit as a covert operation that very few trustworthy people know about. So... on the upside, you get to act like a spy. Sure, that's a pretty stupid upside in a very difficult moment, but looking for any bits of positivity as you go through this brave and traumatic event can really help.

Stay Safe—Physically and Mentally

Leaving an abuser is something anyone should be incredibly proud of. It's difficult, scary, and preys upon every insecurity. So think of escape as a triumph—even when the aftermath gets hard. "Celebrate every single victory," Neo says. "Even if it's 'I did not respond to his email' today. Everything counts."

It's normal to be in an emotionally unstable state after leaving, so it's key that you find the little positives and treat yourself well. After leaving, it's smart to do little things you enjoy, even if that's just binge-watching The Great British Baking Show.

Now's the time to quiet any negative inner voices. Survivors need to treat themselves with extreme kindness. "Remember that punishing yourself is you becoming your own abuser. You don't want them to win," Neo says.

In addition to mental health, survivors need to think about their physical well-being. Otto recommends getting a restraining order immediately after leaving. She says that many victims are hesitant to take this legal step because they don't want to anger their abuser, but a restraining order gives you the legal protection you could desperately need if things escalate. Even if the abuser never comes near you, the restraining order provides a sense of security that can help recovery, Otto says.

Talk to a Professional

Sadly, the scars of an abusive relationship don't disappear the moment you leave. "PTSD is very common with women who are abused," Zeigler says. "They need to learn tools to cope with past abuse and deal with the issues that arise after they leave their abuser."

EDITOR'S PICK

Ideally, an abuse survivor will seek help from a professional. Though a church member or friend will certainly help you through tumultuous emotional times, they aren't trained to deal with the complexities of abuse. A licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist knows exactly how to help. Whether the ex won't leave or there are moments of doubt and blame, a professional will be able to guide you through the trauma and onto a happier life.

Sadly, therapy is not in everyone's budget. And finances are often tight after leaving a controlling relationship. But there are options. Send a message to the Crisis Text Line. It's completely free and their trained counselors will be able to help through hard times and give references to people in the area for further aid, including sliding scale clinics.

Or if you live near a large hospital system or university, you can often see a psychologist-in-training for free. Psychology interns need patients, but everything they do is highly monitored, so you won't end up with some naive Doogie Howser type trying to treat you. The Association of Psychology Training Clinics has very low-cost or free options all around the country.

I know it's tempting to avoid seeing a therapist. Maybe it's too time-consuming, too expensive, or you just don't want to talk. These are all valid thoughts, but the truth is, you can't just paint on a smile and pretend abuse didn't happen. Talking to a professional will help you truly heal and find your strength again. It's an investment of time, money, and emotion. But it's worth it.

End the Cycle

After a survivor has left and sought help, that doesn't mean the cycle of abuse is over. Especially when you're vulnerable, it's easy to get sucked into another abusive relationship. I'm not saying this to blame the victim in any way: We all get trapped in certain patterns and cycles. And once you've been torn down by someone, it's easy to think you'll never deserve to be treated any differently—so another abuser can sometimes seek out that vulnerability and take advantage of it.

No matter how any boyfriend, dad, mom, or family member in your life made you feel, you deserve love.

But this pattern can stop with some tough emotional work. "Put your wounded inner child on your lap and tell her it's OK," Zeigler advises. "You're worthy of love, you respect yourself, and you only should attract a person who loves and admires you without strings attached."

It might sound a little corny, but you have to love yourself. No matter how any boyfriend, dad, mom, or family member in your past made you feel, you deserve love. And once you believe that, deep down, you won't be a victim to the manipulative ways of future abusers. "This type of work is incredibly powerful," Zeigler says, "and will help women stop the domestic abuse cycle."

If you've decided to leave an abusive relationship, you've already won. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it will be scary. But you'll be free. No one deserves to be abused. It's not your fault, and the fact that you're leaving shows what a strong, intelligent, and brave person you are. With planning and support, you can leave safely. So if this applies to you, start your plan today. Take your time and check all your details. You can do it. And you are loved.

Amber Petty is a freelance writer in Los Angeles. If you like easy crafts and Simpsons gifs, check out her blog, Half-Assed Crafts.



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The Accidental Diet That Made Me Feel Amazing—and Lose 20 Pounds

One of the first questions my naturopath asked me was if weight loss was a goal. My immediate answer was "no," and I meant it. As a naturally curvy woman, I had come to accept the extra padding on my thighs and booty, and had long decided that trying to look like a model wasn't a reasonable (or desirable) goal for me.

I exercised and practiced yoga regularly, but I worked out because of how being active made me feel, not how it made me look. However, I had initially scheduled this naturopathic appointment because I'd been experiencing big, regular pockets of time when I wasn't feeling good—and that had been going on for about a year.

In these moments, it felt like my energy was completely out of whack. My heart would race, my energy would drop significantly, I wouldn't be able to make decisions, and I'd panic for no reason. In these moments, I could become teary and emotional over next to nothing.

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I soon discovered that if I ate food, I'd immediately feel better, and the wave of panic would subside. However, this immediate relief was also often accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of drowsiness and the need to sleep—no matter where I was or what I was doing. I'm no doctor, but this sounded a lot like hypoglycemia to me.

Through my work with my naturopath, I discovered that hypoglycemia was indeed the correct diagnosis. Over the next few months, he worked with me to examine and refine my diet. Eventually, we discovered that every time I ate refined sugar or carbohydrates, my energy would bottom out—it appeared that I was overproducing insulin and had an extreme sugar sensitivity.

In addition to removing any type of pasta, bread, or sugar from my diet, I also stopped drinking alcohol, caffeine, and any other stimulant or depressant that could impact my blood sugar. Every meal consisted of meat or fish protein, a cooked green vegetable, and healthy fats, and I also ate snacks like almonds, cashews, and nut butters between meals. Basically, I wound up on the Paleo diet.

The strange part was that while I wasn't trying to lose weight at all, I ended up losing 20 pounds that first month. And believe you me, I was eating constantly—and eating a lot. Once I had removed the sugars and refined carbohydrates from my diet, my metabolism was suddenly faster than ever and began processing the foods I was eating super efficiently. I'd pile my plate high with meat and greens and fats, go back for seconds, and be hungry an hour and a half later—then snack between these huge meals. And the weight just fell off.

People always seem to want to debate about what the 'right' way to eat is, but the truth is, there is no one right way to eat.

While weight loss hadn't been a goal when I first went to consult with the naturopath, I ended up looking great—and fitting into every piece of clothing I tried on in a way that had never been possible for me before, which I'll admit was pretty exciting.

But more importantly, I was feeling good. My energy and mood were better and more stable than they had ever been in my entire life. I suddenly became a morning person, I was cheerful and happy for no reason, and my mind was clear. Basically, as long as I ate food, I was happy—but it had to be the right food.

I'm convinced that my body had started working so efficiently because I was eating the right food for me. For the record, I'm not proselytizing the Paleo diet—quite the opposite. I believe that my weight loss came from eating the foods that were right for my metabolism. People always seem to want to debate about what the "right" way to eat is, but the truth is, there is no one right way to eat. Some people thrive on a vegetarian diet, while others need to eat meat. Some do well on a raw foods diet, while others' digestive systems simply can't handle that kind of eating.

And despite popular perception, weight loss isn't about eating salad at every meal or depriving yourself of the foods that you love—instead, what really matters is noticing how foods make you feel, which is not necessarily a quick or easy process but is totally worth it.

Weight loss, sustaining a healthy weight, and getting your energy right is about getting to know yourself, your body, and what makes you feel good. Figuring out what works for you requires paying careful attention, and possibly the support of a professional who can objectively guide you through the process.

Weight loss for me was about coming into balance with my body and what truly fed me. Once I discovered that—the rest was effortless.

Rachel Leber is a freelance writer based out of Boulder, Colorado. Rachel has worked as a yoga teacher, massage therapist, and natural foods baker, and she is passionate about writing about health, healing, and transformation. For more, check out rachelrebel.com.



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