Who does not enjoy mysteries, isn't it? Though the choice or type of mysteries differs from person to person, what remains same is the love for mysteries in general, right? Indeed, all of us even have our favorite detectives, or the people who solve a mystery.
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Type 2 Diabetes and Weight Loss - Setting Weight Loss Goals
There is likely a difference between how fast you think you should lose weight, and how quickly you actually should. It is common to be unrealistic when planning out weight loss objectives. Twenty pounds in two months, or forty pounds in six, some will say. Clearly, these are significant numbers that are easier said than done. There is no harm in setting big goals. After all, it is better to aim high and fall a little short than it is to aim low and succeed. Still, you ought to be careful with how you set your weight loss goals. There is a price to being overzealous.
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What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class
"He ain't this big at home," the woman seated next to me joked, referring to her XL dildo—an item that was actually listed as a workshop requirement.
In New York, there's a class for just about anything you could ever want to learn to do, and getting better at giving head is no exception. On a recent Saturday afternoon, I sat alongside 30 or so other women in a small room in midtown Manhattan, all gathered together in the name of upping our oral sex game. For the next two and a half hours, we'd go through a class agenda that included a section on deep throating, how to put a condom on using only your mouth, and 50 or so techniques to use when going down on a guy, from starter moves to "finishers."
Why was I doing this, anyway?
I've been single for the past five years, and as such, my sex life has been… sporadic, at best. Ironically, writing about sex has been my side hustle for almost that entire time, but let me tell you, coming up with a roundup of quickie sex positions is vastly different from actually putting that knowledge to use—especially when you're not getting any kind of practice in on the regular.
EDITOR'S PICK
I hadn't felt confident about myself sexually in a long time—to the point that whenever the opportunity did present itself, I couldn't really enjoy it. I was so in my head about being sexually out of shape that nothing felt good.
But the big reason I was choosing to sit with a freshly acquired dildo in one hand, pen in the other, ready to take copious notes: I had just started sleeping with a close guy friend of mine.
Stick with me, here; I promise it won't get sappy. This is a story about blow jobs—not happy endings.
For the past few years, the majority of people I've slept with have been acquaintances at best—men I wasn't really invested in. Don't get me wrong, I still put in an effort. But knowing the chances of ever seeing them again were slim did take some of the pressure off.
Sleeping with a friend comes with higher stakes. Aside from worrying about risking our friendship or, at the very least, making things weird, my main concern was that I really wanted it to be good. Also, we'd talked about potentially going down this road for so long that it'd be a pretty big letdown for both of us if it wasn't.
I figured that if this were any other area of my life where I didn't feel prepared for something, I'd find a way to practice until I got it right… or even take a class in it. So, in an effort to learn how to have better sex—back to school I went.
Getting started
After some surprisingly light research (read: Googling "blow job class NYC"), I came across StripXpertease, a female-run company that offers confidence-boosting classes that run the gamut from pole dancing to fellatio. After I forked over $45 dollars to sign up (can you really put a price on a good education?), I received an email with a list of details about what to bring (a dildo, flavored lube, and condoms) and what to expect.
"You will be putting that cucumber/dildo in your mouth," the email read. "Sucking it, licking it, and most likely gagging on it. Yes, seriously. Yes, everyone."
Our instructor kicked off our class with a short speech on the importance of communicating with your partner. The main message: It's critical to get on the same page with them, about what they like and don't like to have done to their dick. This is better than trial and error and will save you both some time.
After the pep talk, we moved on to a lube 101 section, testing out different types of formulas on our hands, and learning which each one works best for. Contrary to all the porn BJs I've seen, it turns out that flavored lube is a more effective and delicious way to give head than continually hacking up wads of spit to keep things running smoothly.
I was learning new things already.
Learning new tricks
After we got familiar with lube, we suction-cupped our dildos to the table and rubbed them down with our formula of choice. Our instructor asked each of us to grab a flavored condom and showed us how to wedge it in our mouths so that our teeth were holding on to the tip of it. We watched in awe as she went down on her own dildo, took a deep inhale and basically suctioned the entire condom down the base of it using only her lips.
Picturing myself performing this for my guy friend, I knew it'd be the trick I needed to make me feel back on top of my game. I spent the next 10 minutes struggling to nail it, choking on my dildo once, and losing the condom near the back of my throat at one point.
I guess this would have to be homework.
Opposing directions
"If it were up to me, this class would be on just one technique: opposing directions," our instructor told us.
We had been given a list of hand job and blow job movements and techniques to practice—ranging from starter moves meant to get things going, moves to do toward the middle, and techniques to finish him off. As we were practicing on our dildos, there was a common theme—creating one motion with your hand, mouth, or tongue while going the opposite direction with whatever you had free.
A major takeaway I had from this portion of class was that I had been underutilizing my hands in the whole blow job process. I'd usually rely on my mouth to do all the work—which would end up making my jaw tired and my blow job lackluster. Our instructor also had a solve for this: using your hips to do the back and forth motion instead of your jaw while you're on your knees.
The class concluded with a deep throating section, where I watched our instructor disappear an entire dildo into the back of her throat in one fell swoop. I did not come even close to mastering this—but I did appreciate the very visual reminder that with enough practice, anything is possible.
Putting it to use
The afternoon before I had plans to see my guy friend, I spent an hour and a half with my dildo and class worksheet. I chose a starter move, mid-move, and finisher to focus on, and proceeded to have at it. Once I felt good about those three moves, I attempted my, ahem, magnum opus: the condom trick. It was slow going at first—I'd either get it not far enough down the shaft or so far down that I'd gag. But the moment that I got it right—and could duplicate it without error—I felt like I was back in the game.
Translating my new skills from dildo to dick was surprisingly seamless. I had gotten so used to grabbing for what I needed (lube, condoms, a paper towel to wipe my dribbling saliva with) that doing it in front of my friend didn't phase me. I could see a different (better) reaction from him (opposing directions for the win!) this time around. But the look on his face when I pulled off the condom trick on the first try made the blow job workshop and hours of practice I had put in entirely worth it.
Also, it was fun—something I had kind of forgotten sex was supposed to be up until that moment.
Danielle Page is an editor, freelance writer, and self-proclaimed cat connoisseur. She lives in Astoria with her black cat, Nightmare. You can read other things she's written by visiting her poorly maintained portfolio or just stalk her on Twitter @TheDaniellePage.
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The Beauty Benefits Of Black Cumin Seed Oil - 'The Seed Of Blessing'
This amazing oil is rich in the essential fatty acids, vitamins, antioxidants and amino acid. The article describes 5 proven beauty benefits of using Cold-pressed Black cumin seed oil for your healthier visage.
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Multhani Mitti Benefits for Hair
Taking care of natural afro hair requires a regimen consisting of eating healthy, drinking plenty of water and hydrating your curly mane. Whilst my hair is in a protective style during the cold winter months, I still ensure I continue to moisturize and condition my hair and I have found the multani mitti clay as the best clarifying clay that conditions and cleanses my hair. So let's delve into finding out what this natural ingredient is.
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7 Day Sugar Detox Diet Plan - Lose Up to 10 Lbs by Flushing Out Poison
This is an article on how to detox your body from sugar, the end result is a dramatic weight loss that can be achieved in a short amount of time and be maintained as long as you follow the article! Although your love for sugar may seem benign, you're probably eating a lot more of it than you need.
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Reasons to Consider Stretch Mark Removal
Stretch marks are quite common; most people will experience them at some point in their lives. Unwanted stretch marks can form almost anywhere on the body, and they can be caused by everything from puberty to weight gain to pregnancy. This is because when the size of your body grows faster than your skin can adapt to the new size, you typically end up with stretch marks. However, some people develop these features because they have poor skin elasticity.
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Pets Are Even Better for Your Health Than You Think
Pets are adorable, fun, and most importantly, they never pass judgment on you for wearing the same pair of pants for three days straight or eating ice cream for dinner. Sure, owning a pet comes with some responsibility, but if you're trying to convince yourself (or someone else) that adopting one is a good idea, here's some very legit evidence that pets can provide both emotional and physical benefits for your overall health.
1. Pets are good for your heart—literally.
Yes, pets are known for doling out the kind of unconditional love that can make your heart grow three sizes, but there's a growing body of evidence that suggests your pet may offer very real benefits to your literal, blood-pumping heart too. Studies now show that dog owners have lower blood pressure and cholesterol—and the data can't be explained by other factors.
EDITOR'S PICK
2. Pets can legitimately reduce your stress both at home and at work.
Pets are excellent mental health aids. It's even becoming clear that it doesn't much matter what kind of pet you own—you can reap benefits from petting an animal, even a non-furry one, like a turtle.
Some businesses are beginning to pick up on the benefits of pets in the workplace too. "As employers are beginning to understand the impact that pets have on lowering stress, more and more employers are beginning to allow pets—specifically dogs—into the office to lower stress in the workplace," says Micah Pratt of Business.org.
3. They may even be good for your migraines.
"One of the major triggers for the patients I see with migraines is stress," says Mark Khorsandi, D.O., founder of the Migraine Relief Center. "Dogs are natural stress relievers—petting an animal can lower your heart rate and decrease blood pressure."
4. They can get you outside.
"Having my two dogs 'forces' me to take them for walks every night," says Lynette Whiteman, M.S., executive director of Caregiver Volunteers of Central Jersey. "I walk through a wooded path by my house, and it totally changes my mood and de-stresses me."
Russell Hartstein, CEO of Fun Paw Care, agrees—and notes that there are a couple of benefits beyond stress relief too. "A dog can act as a social lubricant," he says. "And can get you in better shape physically, as well."
5. Pets may be able to actually prevent allergies.
Having pets in childhood may prevent people from being allergy sufferers later in life. Some studies have shown that children who own pets are less likely to develop allergies as adults, but the jury's still out on whether that works as well for adults—there's conflicting evidence both ways.
6. Pets just make you happy.
We really don't need science to prove that pets make us happier, but it does. Some studies have shown that human-animal interactions enhance mood, energy, and learning, and even assist in pain management.
So the next time you see that adorable face beckoning to you from the SPCA, or a stray appears on your doorstep and begs to stay a while, consider how beneficial it might be to both of you to let him into your home. (And tuck this little article away for ammunition if your roommate has a different opinion!) Pets really can be the best medicine.
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Follow These Steps to Take Genuinely Good Care of Your Skin
When I was 12 and my skin was just beginning to show the, er, glowing effects of puberty, my mother realized that a soap bar in the shower wasn't going to cut it for my skin care routine anymore. She put me through what was then a tween rite of passage: a trip to the Clinique counter, where a nice lady showed me how to cleanse, exfoliate, apply that pretty pink toner, and otherwise care for the oiliness and breakouts to come.
These days, when I step into a Sephora or department store, I sometimes miss that nice lady and wish she'd take my hand and show me what to do.
Today, we face a paralyzing number of skin care choices. Should we stick to the three steps we grew up with? Or is it better to delve into the 10-step Korean skin care routine, complete with its many layers of oils, serums, masks, and lotions? Rather than simply guessing, I approached some actual experts for tips on how to build a good routine and decide what's best for our individual needs.
"You can do a few things or you can do a lot of things, and both can be just fine," says Doris Day, M.D., says board-certified dermatologist and clinical associate professor at the New York University Langone Medical Centers. "People who are really motivated can do a 10-step layered process. But if you're lazy, kind of like I am, you don't really have to."
Day divides her skin care advice into "must-haves"—cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize, apply sunscreen—and "nice-to-haves" (everything else). Here's how to start.
Cleansing
"Elements like pollution and makeup left on the skin can be toxic," Day says. "That accelerates aging."
If you're wearing makeup, you can first turn to a makeup-removing cloth or pad, or a cleansing oil. If most of your foundation has worn off by night's end, you can just focus on any waterproof eye makeup and then move on to the cleanser. Day recommends a lighter product in the morning than at night. Be sure to choose something appropriate for your skin type: A foaming cleanser with benzoyl peroxide is good for oily skin but not for sensitive, dry skin.
EDITOR'S PICK
Also, if you're coming home from a party in the wee hours and just DGAF, Day has given the permission you've longed for: "In a real pinch, a makeup removal cloth is all you need," she says. "If you're really hungover and tired and just want to get to bed, you can just use the cloth and be done."
Exfoliating
Even after you cleanse, it can be tempting to want to scrape off every last bit of dirt and dead skin cells nightly, imagining you can start anew with a fresh layer each day, but that's not a great idea.
"Every day is just too much," says celebrity aesthetician Ildi Pekar. "And I have seen people who have done that. Over time, their skin becomes more likely to be irritated by pressure and sensitive to ingredients."
The frequency of exfoliation Day recommends depends on which kind of product you're using. If you're going for a fancy machine, like a Clarisonic brush, to do your dirty work, you may only have to use it as little as once a month. But if you're using less-intense physical scrubs, you'd want to use them a little more often.
Another option is a chemical exfoliating cleanser, which can be in the form of salicylic or glycolic acids for oily skin or milder cleansers for more sensitive skin. For her own skin, Pekar says she alternates between a natural enzyme exfoliator and a glycolic acid exfoliator and uses one or the other two to three times a week.
The important thing to do here is to pay attention to how your skin reacts, looking for signs of irritation or inflammation.
"Play around with what works for you," Day says. "Then you can go stronger or lighter in areas that are more or less sensitive."
Toner
While this is in Day's "nice-to-have" category, it is one last way to remove any remaining dirt particles your cleanser missed—which makes it great for days you've sweated it out a lot in the gym. Toners have also gotten a lot less astringent than in the days when we used to slap on the Sea Breeze and give a full-on Macaulay Culkin scream.
"Toner helps to balance, oxygenate, and cleanse the skin," Pekar says.
Essences and Waters
The 10-step Korean skin care routine positions essences as a necessary step. These are gentle ways to apply active ingredients to the skin—so gentle that they can feel a little like the Emperor's New Clothes. Day assures us that many of these products do have active ingredients that can be good for your skin, though it's still not completely necessary to apply them.
Dermatologist Marie Jhin, M.D., author of Asian Beauty Secrets, doesn't necessarily advocate everyone go through an entire 10-step skin care regimen but does say this kind of careful process has a benefit, in her eyes.
"This means you are taking time for your skin," she says. "I think the reason Koreans have good skin has to do with compliance. One of the biggest things I notice about my patients, whether their issue is anti-aging or acne, if they are diligent, then they're going to end up with better results. And it takes time. It's not a 1-2-3 magic. With any type of creams, you've got to really be mindful of the steps and making it a routine. Just like how you can't exercise just once—it's about commitment."
So, if you have the cash to splash on SK-II essence, then go for it—but don't expect results unless you use it every day. You could also go for another Korean line that's involved but slightly more streamlined, Saranghae, which combines enough steps (like essence and serum) to make its skin care process only five steps instead of 10.
Serums, Oils, and Eye Creams
This category of product is where you can get very specific with your skin care needs. All of the ingredients in these products could theoretically also exist in a daily moisturizer or night cream, but not all of your face is the same.
"A serum is designed just to deliver actives for a specific purpose," Day says. So this is a good way to apply something like retinol in the wrinkle-prone areas, another serum for any dark spots, and a third to treat your pimples.
There is such a thing as getting carried away, according to Pekar. "I preach less is more," she says. "Sometimes too many different ingredients in combination can be irritating." That said, Pekar sells her own tissue repair serum that includes anti-inflammatory CBD oil, moisturizing hyaluronic acid, and probiotics—which does sound pretty good.
A Vitamin C serum can be a great option for people with all sorts of skin concerns, from acne to fine lines—here's how to pick a good one.
Masks
Sheet masks, detoxifying clay masks, and other forms of mask are a more intense method for applying ingredients you could get in other ways. Day likes to think of masks as fun excuses to spend more time with your skin care. "You can make a treat out of it," she says.
They're not necessary, but they can be a great way to get in some self-care and can absolutely go a long way toward addressing skin concerns—especially if you buy or make one for your particular skin type.
Moisturizer and Sunblock
Here, we come to the last but most definitely not least important step. Choose your moisturizer wisely—thicker and more occlusive (locking in moisture) ointment-like lotion for dryer skin, and lighter, even gel-like, if you're oily or prone to acne.
During the day, you don't really need a separate sunblock and moisturizer, Day says, as long as you truly apply your broad-spectrum (UVA- and UVB-blocking) SPF 30 all-in-one lotion generously on your face, neck, and chest—and reapply it throughout the day. If you're going to be spending a bunch of time outside, however, it's a good idea to go with a stronger SPF, so long as it's truly broad-spectrum—EWG publishes a great guide to sunscreens you can use to find one that will work for your needs.
Switch It Up
Once you figure out the skin care routine that works best for you, it shouldn't be set in stone.
"The skin does change especially during the seasons," Pekar says. "You need to use less or use more of certain products to help balance your skin year round."
And your skin care routine in your 30s should probably not look like the one you used in your 20s. Take a closer look in the mirror, treat yourself to a facial, or visit a board-certified dermatologist regularly to reevaluate what's working and what isn't for your skin. Then you'll have an excuse to play around—and add something new to your ritual.
Sabrina Rojas Weiss lives in Brooklyn, surrounded by her fellow freelance writers and competitive stroller-pushers. Follow her on Twitter @shalapitcher.
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How to Grow Hair Faster - Home Remedies and Best Suggestions
Many of us are thinking that how to grow hair faster, you can use home remedies for faster hair growth. As well it prevents hair loss and dandruff on your scalp. Home ingredients fully loaded with lipids, vitamins, proteins and other essential nutrients which nourishes the hair and prevents many scalp related problems.
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The Hard Truths I Had to Face to Get Healthy Without Dieting
Most of my Mondays start the same: with a vow to recommit to my health. I make that early morning yoga class, dive into hard-boiled eggs and avocado for breakfast, stick to one cup of black coffee, stay off the booze, and hit the hay early. Good-bye, indulgent weekend; hello, healthy week.
There’s nothing wrong with a Monday reset, right? In my case… there started to be.
Two months ago, I realized it wasn’t an unhealthy weekend I needed to recover from, it was an unhealthy five months. An international move and a whirlwind trip across Asia had rocked my world, and in the process, my healthy habits were aggressively thrown out the window. Though there’s very little I would change about my experience, there’s also no denying that I’d taken giant steps backward when it came to my health—and was slowly but surely suffering the consequences. I didn’t just need a Monday reset; I needed about 100.
Confronting My Demons
As I lay in bed after another restless night, waking to another upset stomach, I decided it was time to get real. Dear body, it’s not you, it’s me...
After past indulgences—like bachelorette weekends or the holidays—I’d often turned to cleanses, detoxes, and other quick-fix diets to whip me back into shape (and fast). But surprise surprise, they never set me on the right track. Instead, they often sent me into a spiral of binging, which I really didn’t need considering I’d been doing that for the past five months. I think I’ll pass.
So, what was a good option?
I’d done Whole30 before and loved it, but knew I’d struggle without my own kitchen to cook in (I'm currently living with my in-laws—that’s a story for another time) and a limited budget for buying high-quality produce and protein. Without a diet that seemed suitable to my living situation, I had to look elsewhere: deep inside myself. (Oh boy.)
Though I’m all for focusing on strengths, I knew I had to confront my inner demons and focus on my weaknesses. So instead of having a pep talk with myself, I had a real talk with myself and was honest about where I was struggling:
- I was an overeater. (What does being full even mean?!)
- I loved eating out... all the time. (But it’s a celebration!)
- I #treatyoself daily (All day, every day, right?)
- Exercise, what's that? (Insert every excuse imaginable here.)
Phew, now that I had the hard part over with (ya know, being honest with myself), I just had to figure out a way forward—and a way to decrease my desire for "just one" last glass of wine. Because confronting your inner demons is hard and it’s just one glass and red wine is healthy and… stop right there.
Let the Training Begin
When training for a marathon, you don’t start with a 20-mile run. Instead, you start small, gradually adding distance and weaving in strength training to increase endurance and decrease risk of injuries. Though I’ve never actually trained for a marathon, I knew my road to a healthy, happy me was going to be a similar effort, requiring serious mental stamina and the right kind of training. I also knew it wasn’t realistic to expect change overnight. So I started small.
1. Overeating
When it came to overeating, I decided to stop going back for seconds. Whether enjoying a meal at home or treating myself to a night out, I gave myself one plate to make the most of it—which, as it turns out, was more than enough. I didn’t start measuring my portions, counting calories, or chewing 100 times before swallowing. I just kept it simple—and doable.
2. Eating Out
When it came to eating out, I set a soft rule of sticking to high-protein entrées with a side of veggies. Considering I love chicken, fish, and getting down with greens, this change came easy. And restaurants often cook protein in copious amounts of butter, oil, and salt, so even selecting the healthier options still felt like a splurge. With a glass of wine in my hand—a rich red that made sticking to just one easy (well, easier)—eating out still felt fun, which was key to making me stick with these healthier choices.
3. Treating Myself
Living with family meant a chocolate bar was always stashed somewhere and that there were bottles of wine to crack open at a moment’s notice (and people who were willing to enjoy them with you). Normally I’d go cold turkey and make “no” my favorite word. But this time, I did something unexpected: I said yes—a few times a week. And when I did say yes, I tried to make smart choices. A nibble of chocolate? Make it dark. Beer with dinner? Let’s share one. Matcha latte on this cold and dreary day? Hell yes, but with almond milk, please.
4. Exercise
The exercise was the real battle. I was motivated to move, but the act of moving didn’t feel good. My body was stiff and weak, and most of my runs ended with bags of frozen peas draped over half of my body. Even my trusty barre videos stopped doing the trick. They became boring—as they do when you’ve done them 50-plus times—and I stopped pushing myself. Then I stopped turning them on. Even dog walks started to feel tedious and tiring.
Though I’d initially talked myself out of buying a gym pass or class pack at a studio, I realized it was the best way to hold myself accountable—and make exercise enjoyable again. So I went back to yoga. First I went twice a week, then three times, then four times. A lot of my sessions still ended in ice—holy cow, I’d let myself get out of shape—but each morning I woke up stronger, more limber, and more excited about moving my body.
A Strong Finish
If this were truly a marathon, I’d only be at mile 13. Though I’m two months in and have made strides toward a healthier me, I have a long way to go. But by introducing small changes and incrementally improving my habits over time, I’ve stuck with them. I’m not starving like I’ve felt during juice cleanses. I’m not low energy, which I’ve felt on low-carb diets. I’m feeling good—and better every day. The best part: This healthy track that I’m on still includes all of my favorite things. And now that I’m consuming them less, I actually appreciate them.
It’s easy to want to see change immediately. I’m going to a wedding in two weeks and want to look my best! (Been there.) Summer is near and I want to finally feel confident on the beach! (Yep, been there too.) I finally want to commit to just being healthy! Well, if you’ve gotten this far, you know I’ve been there.
And what I’ve learned is that change doesn’t come quickly and that I shouldn’t force it. It took me five months to get off track; it’s not going to take two weeks, or even a month, to turn back time. It’s going to be a long journey, but for the first time, I’m confident I’m going to stick to it.
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A 7-Day Workout And Fitness Plan For All
This is an in depth article on a 7 day workout program, meal plan for those looking to lose weight and tone muscle. We break it down step by step so that you can follow this easy to understand guide. Have a look and enjoy!!
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5 Signs Of A Slow Metabolism And Hacks To Fix It
Metabolism is the process of how your body burns stored fuel (including fats) to be used up as energy. When your body burns more fuel, you trim down. So if you've been busy at the gym, eating right but you can't seem to see results, you may want to check if you have a slow metabolism.
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Some Simple Ways to Turn Anxiety Into Excitement
A few years ago, when I expressed worry about an upcoming speaking engagement, my therapist drew a little diagram for me. In one corner, she wrote the word "anxiety." In another, she wrote "excitement." Then she drew two lines, connecting them to the same little dot in the middle, to illustrate that both of these emotions come from the same starting place—it's how you respond that informs which feeling you experience.
Of course, this isn't necessarily true if you have an actual anxiety disorder, and some anxiety can't be turned into excitement because it's a very real signal your body is telling you that you might be in danger.
However, there really are a ton of opportunities to turn a negative feeling or thought into a positive one, and turn those jitters into jazz(ed) hands. Here's why that's true—and how to accomplish it for yourself.
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Both excitement and anxiety involve the same chemical process in the brain.
What separates these two arousal emotions are the associations we make with them, says Sal Raichbach, Psy.D., LCSW, of Ambrosia Treatment Center.
When you experience anxiety, the first thing that happens is your senses observe your environment, and you feel that rush of cortisol in your brain as the fight-or-flight mentality begins to set in. This is something humans have evolved to do to be able to sense danger and respond quickly, which is why it all happens in a matter of seconds, Raisbach says.
But a part of this response is also your ability to recall your previous experience, and that's where the anxiety or excitement will start to differentiate, Raisbach says. If you've been anxious in past while public speaking, chances are that you are going to be anxious when you are walking up to that podium again. The difference between healthy anxiety and unhealthy anxiety is your relationship with this stimulus—and whether or not it's making you feel fear.
Distinguish between good and bad anxiety.
So if you see a car about to hit you, you should be feeling fear and anxiety. A more complex example, Raichbach says, is the type of unhealthy anxiety that comes up when you aren't in any specific danger, but your body triggers that response anyway.
"Unhealthy" anxiety could be a fear of meeting new people or feeling trapped in a large crowd. But since you're not really in danger in these situations, it isn't risky or unsafe to try and turn that fear into excitement.
Recent research has found that if we reappraise anxiety as excitement, we will actually perform better—no matter the task.
A.J. Marsden, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Beacon College, points out that there are three different components of every emotion: how our bodies react to it, how we express it, and how we experience it. We then label these feelings good or bad.
Sometimes, she says, it's all relative—an Olympic athlete might more easily experience the starting gun as excitement, since an adrenaline rush is coming, and there's a potential reward at the end. While someone in another anxiety-producing situation—for instance, someone who has to give a presentation to their boss—might be more inclined to feel simply nervous. But if you look at it more macroscopically, in both situations, you're being judged and watched, so what's the difference?
It's how we feel about ourselves and the situation. Often, that comes down to confidence and the way we frame the situation to ourselves.
Raichbach says it's crucial to grab those negative, fear-based thoughts before they settle in.
If you're about to give a big presentation in front of an audience and feel that familiar, nervous gut-feeling, stop yourself before you turn that into negative self-talk.
This is the point when you have you control over your own response: You can flip that negative sentence you were about to tell yourself into something positive. For example, if you're approaching the stage, thinking, I'm so completely nervous, I'm positive I am going to stumble over my words, then this is your chance to flip that script. Instead, you could say to yourself, I'm going to use this excitement to focus on speaking loud and clear, and I'm going to kick ass. Simple tricks like this can set you up for success.
Life coach Mary Kaba Valis of Your Sparkling Potential says that while we can't control everything, we can most likely influence it.
And if we can influence it, we have power over it, she says. She offers the following exercise as a way for us to get better at training ourselves to live more exciting, less distressing lives:
1. Fold a piece of paper in half.
2. Label the left side Column A and the right side Column B.
3. Think about the thoughts or phrases you may commonly use that could drag you down, reduce your joy, or cause you anxiety. On the left, in Column A, write down a few thoughts or statements that bring you anxiety or cause negativity in your day. On the other side, Column B, reword the anxiety-produced thoughts in a positive way.
For instance:
Anxiety-produced thought: I know I'm going to forget what I want to say during my presentation and embarrass myself.
Positive reversal: I'm honestly excited that I was invited to speak. I've prepared for this, and it's going to be awesome.
Anxiety-produced thought: Today is already crappy. I'm exhausted and I haven't even gotten out the door yet.
Positive opposite: I'm going to give myself permission to not be perfect, I'm going to take care of myself, and I'm going to do what I can to make today great for myself.
Planning for upcoming events can also help you feel more secure.
For instance, you may be less anxious about flying if you know you're prepared with all of your favorite comforts, distractions, and stuff you want to bring on your trip—so make a list and prep a day or two before you fly. Similarly, you can have talking points written out for your presentation or be prepared with some small talk for a party.
Envision the event going well and coming out on the other side.
As much as any upcoming event or task can feel like a life-changing be-all, end-all it probably really isn't. It's just another thing to do. Marsden suggests asking these questions:
1. Is this productive worry?
2. Is there anything I can do?
3. Or is this completely out of my hands?
Anxiety often occurs when we feel uncertain and lack control. To address that, use positive self-talk, focus on potential good outcomes, and prepare for the situation.
Using these strategies to handle end-of-day anxiety is also important—it can help you get to sleep.
For many of us, falling asleep is tough, since we're both processing and reflecting on the events of the day, and we're often overstimulated and preoccupied with what we have to do tomorrow, projecting additional worry onto the future.
Psychologist Kevin Gilliland, Psy.D., says that when you feel those negative thoughts coming on, giving yourself a gentle but forceful "Stop!" can be powerful. You can say it aloud or in your head, depending on the circumstances—but this can be a great way to nip those self-defeating thoughts in the bud. Recognize that in hindsight, you have gotten through this all before, and the worry didn't do any good. And the situation is rarely as bad as you build it up to be in your head.
Helaina Hovitz is an editor, writer, content strategist, and author of the memoir After 9/11. She is a native New Yorker, nonprofit enthusiast, rescue dog lover, and has eaten at approximately 500 million thousand restaurants. Follow her @helainahovitz on Twitter and Facebook.
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Want to Poop Better? Of Course You Do—So Start Avoiding These Common Foods
Discussing one's bowel movements is no longer the sole domain of toddlers, new parents, and seniors in fiber supplement ads. It's become perfectly acceptable for your friends to offer up details about what certain foods do to their intestines while you're seated at a table eating those very foods. Well, with that taboo out of the way, we might as well talk about it here, because it turns out that yes, your poop is important.
"Your intestinal health is critical because it nurtures the rest of your body," Lea Ann Chen, says assistant professor of medicine at New York University and a member of the American Gastroenterological Association. In other words, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, or other forms of discomfort down there could also mean that the rest of your body isn't absorbing the nutrients you need to function.
Just in case you're wondering whether your poop is "normal," next time you drop the kids off at the pool, compare them to this Bristol Stool Form Scale. It's not the most precise measure of health, but it can be a good place to start. If you're often staring at something on the higher or lower ends of that scale, or you feel bloated and gassy after certain meals, it's time to reexamine the foods, drinks, and meds that might be messing with your plumbing.
For Everyone
Fried Foods
How sad is it that your mouth and your gastrointestinal tract will never agree about this category?
"We always worry about fried, fatty foods," Chen says. "There's not much good that can come from them besides that they're tasty."
Of course, we all know that delicious fried chicken, tempura, French fries, and the like can clog our arteries and put strain on our hearts, but the fats in those foods also do damage on their way to the bloodstream.
EDITOR'S PICK
"I call fats the most high-maintenance macronutrient because they typically take a long time to digest," says Dana White, R.D.
Studies have shown that diets high in saturated fats can increase constipation. While this study of rats indicated that the oils used in deep-frying foods can cause an imbalance in the gut microbiota, which in turn has consequences for how the intestines handle other foods, the research on humans is less conclusive. We do, however, know that saturated fat consumption can increase the prevalence of the bad gut bacteria that are associated with inflammatory bowel diseases.
Sugar Alcohols
Though the name may conjure up delightful images of strawberry daiquiris, the term "sugar alcohols" actually refers to a group of chemicals (xylitol, mannitol, sorbitol, and others) that occur naturally in some fruits and vegetables but are also manufactured for use in processed low-calorie foods. They don't contain many calories because your body can't fully digest them.
"If you can't digest something efficiently, it sits in your gut and ferments, and that causes gas, bloating, discomfort, and potentially diarrhea," White says. Don't confuse this issue of foods fermenting in the gut with the foods that are already fermented before you eat them (and are good for the gut microbiota), White explains.
Alcoholic Drinks
White is no fan of the empty calories that come with alcoholic drinks and their sugary mixers. Sometimes, a night of drinking can cause diarrhea because ethanol has been found to accelerate digestion. But alcohol's diuretic effect can also lead to dehydration, which in turn can cause constipation. Either way, drinking in excess isn't great for you—as you've probably heard before.
For Some People
Dairy
"The normal thing that happens is people lose their ability to digest a lot of dairy, and the 'mutant,' if you will, is the person who can continue to digest those foods into later adulthood," Chen says.
But that does not mean that everyone should avoid all dairy, all the time. Not everyone is intolerant, and not all intolerances look alike, White says. Some people can eat cheese but not drink milk, while others can have those, but ice cream is off the menu.
"It's not as black or white as people want to make it out to be," White says. So even if you notice some dairy products make you feel gross, you may still be able to have fermented versions, like kefir or Greek yogurt, which are beneficial to your digestive health.
Gluten
The recent trend of self-diagnosing a gluten intolerance without seeing a medical professional is worrisome, White says. Someone experiencing GI discomfort might see improvements by eliminating certain gluten-containing foods from their diet, but they may misinterpret their results.
"If you're eating a lot of breaded, fried foods, and you cut those out because of the breading, and then you feel better, you can't be certain what to attribute that to," she says, explaining that either the gluten or the high fats could be the culprit in that scenario.
On the other hand, someone may begin to feel better by eliminating some major sources of gluten, such as bagels and pizza, and then stop there. But that's not going to cut it for someone with celiac disease—as opposed to a milder gluten intolerance.
"You don't really know it's celiac without doing the proper diagnostic procedures," White says. "If they're still consuming malt and barley, soy sauce, or beer—things that also have gluten in them but are more inconspicuous—they could still be doing major damage to their digestive system."
High Fiber Foods and FODMAPs
This is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. When you eat too many starchy, refined carbohydrates, that usually means you're not eating the high-fiber foods your body needs to create a healthy gut microbiome.
The good bacteria that create your microbiome consume fiber, producing some of the nutrients, such as amino acids, that our bodies need. And yet, high-fiber foods sometimes also cause problems.
"Sometimes I have patients who are eating a lot of vegetables—things like celery and broccoli—and these tough-to-digest foods also cause gas and bloating," Chen says.
Some of those people may be suffering from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a frustratingly vague illness that has no known cause or cure as yet. Nutritional scientists have developed a list of foods called high FODMAPs (fermentable oligosaccharide, disaccharide, monosaccharide, and polyols) to avoid, and there's evidence that it works to reduce symptoms.
"I've seen a lot of people be successful going on a low FODMAP diet, where they're eliminating particular substances that do tend to stick around and ferment in the gut, causing those horrible gas-bloating-diarrhea symptoms," White says.
That's great news for anyone with IBS, but neither White nor Chen thinks you should just go on a low-FODMAP diet unnecessarily because the long list foods you have to skip includes a lot of stuff that's otherwise good for you.
Can't we just get a fecal transplant and go back to eating everything?
Chen says she gets a lot of calls from people who've read up on the gut microbiome and want one of these poop transplants for themselves. While this procedure has been shown to help patients with severe c.diff infections (that's a bacterial infection in the intestines), the science isn't quite there for other indications.
"The microbiome can be such a powerful thing, but we really don't know how to use it," she says.
And while we'd love to be able to cancel out any bad food decisions with a serving of kimchi, it's not quite that simple, White says. A better idea might be to ensure you eat healthily on the regular.
"That would put you in a better position, so when you eat something that's not so great for your gut health, the consequences would be less severe," she says. "Maybe you can be more proactive than reactionary."
Another good option: Work with a physician to get tested for gut health—which can help you determine which foods you want to especially avoid. There's no one-size-fits-all plan, after all!
Sabrina Rojas Weiss lives in Brooklyn, surrounded by her fellow freelance writers and competitive stroller-pushers. Follow her on Twitter @shalapitcher.
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Acne Vulgaris Treatment and Causes
Acne, otherwise called Acne vulgaris, is believed to be caused by numerous components. Overproduction of a typical oil on the skin, called sebum, increments affected by hormones. This, combined with the inadequate shedding of peeling dead skin cells, plugs hair follicles. The stopped follicle can end up aroused and have expanded development of ordinary skin microbes, Propionibacterium acnes.
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6 Important Qualities of CQC Registered Social Care Providers
It is in human nature that we crave for care and attention but sometimes circumstances do not permit to get the desired attention. The CQC registered social care service providers are the best resort for the people who want to get the care and security and live a life with dignity.
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Owning This One Piece of Exercise Equipment Has Completely Changed the Way I Work Out
At the start of 2017, I was stressed, out of shape, and looking for a way to combat my growing anxiety. Despite knowing that exercise was what my body and mind needed, I had a hard time finding the motivation to work out. Going to the gym felt like a chore, and even worse, the money I was throwing away on my underused membership became another source of anxiety.
My aversion to the gym wasn't sudden: The year before, I'd bought a set of hand weights and started doing at-home strength training videos in conjunction with cardio at the gym. I needed an exercise routine that fit my personality, and this was much more my style—something low-key and flexible. Once I realized that I was able to stick to my routine at home, I wanted to drop the gym experience altogether, but found myself reluctant to leave the cardio machines behind.
EDITOR'S PICK
I wasn't into running outside, so I relied on treadmills and elliptical machines to give me the exhilarating feeling of exhaustion that comes from a good cardio session. These were workouts that left me feeling relaxed, focused, and calmer in a way that strength training just couldn't seem to replicate.
At first, the idea of purchasing my own cardio machine seemed far-fetched.
Most of the machines found in gyms cost thousands of dollars and require regular maintenance, after all, and my bank account and I weren't up for either those challenges. Still, I loved the idea of owning my own equipment and fantasized about how great it would be to work out any time of day—without adding my name to a list and waiting for someone to finish their routine.
So I pulled the plug on my gym membership. After months of research, I found a well-reviewed elliptical for $500 on Amazon, which was roughly what I was spending to use the elliptical at the gym for a year. Previously, I would have balked at the idea of trading in all the machines available at the gym for just one—but what's better? The one machine you actually use or the dozen machines you avoid?
It's been more than a year, and I'm still using my elliptical about four times a week.
In fact, I've fallen so in love with this thing that I even moved it from my house in New Mexico to my new, cozy one-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. I'll admit that it's a bit of an eyesore in my bedroom, and my husband has kindly pointed out that more helpful things could fit in the space, but this piece of equipment has become basically non-negotiable for me.
While I was proud of myself for keeping up with my routine, I knew I was in danger of allowing my workouts to become too repetitive, so I spoke with Rachel Cohen, a personal trainer and Pilates/boot camp instructor at the Brooklyn-based Body Elite gym. While she uses an elliptical herself, Cohen confirmed my concern that it's not enough without strength training. "You have to challenge your muscles," she said, suggesting that adding strength or interval training would be more effective than only using the elliptical.
So if you've limited yourself to one machine, how do you combat plateauing and boredom?
Cohen recommends integrating a bodyweight circuit of push-ups and squats with the elliptical, doing each exercise at maximum intensity for intervals of 30 seconds. But she reassured me that my purchase was worth it and wholeheartedly endorsed exercise's role in managing stress.
"Any exercise is great. If it gets you moving, do it. If you enjoy it, do it," she says. "A lot of people are sitting at desks all day, and at the end of the day, you're exhausted. So if you have an elliptical in-home and you don't have time to get to the gym, you can just get on the elliptical and do your 20 minutes."
By investing in the one machine that I truly love, I've kept up with a routine that's resulted in weight loss and the most consistent exercise I've had in years. I was finally able to break out of my rut and implement a routine that would eventually become a lifestyle. It turns out that the gym just isn't for me—and that's OK.
Ashlie Hughes is a Brooklyn-based writer and photographer whose elliptical machine is currently occupying 30 percent of her apartment. To see more of her work, follow her on Instagram @ashliehughes13.
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