5 Ways to Focus on What’s Important, Not Just Urgent

If you’re always getting to things late, or in some cases, not at all, then you’re not alone; one of the biggest reasons people come to me as a life coach is to help get them on track with the things that matter to them that somehow continuously fall by the wayside.

Usually, they’ll say something like, "I don’t feel in control," or "I’m not sure why I’m not operating at the level I know I can be," or even, "I feel unfulfilled and I hate it."

President Eisenhower said, "I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent."

People feel frustrated because they feel like they are ignoring what matters most to them. Among the biggest culprits: feeling that your work/life/day-to-day existence isn’t meaningful, failing to launch a passion-based side hustle you’ve been dreaming of, having sex with your partner too infrequently, not doing the travel you’ve always dreamed of, spending too little time with loved ones, and not making self-care a priority.

Whether it’s crossing something off your life’s bucket list or just saying thank you to a friend, the important things that we never get around to weigh on us over time. It’s understandable that we miss this stuff—we’re all just trying to blast through the urgency of the day-to-day: pay the Visa bill, take the dog out, and check off our Tuesday to-do list at the office. But we still have to figure out how to get the important stuff done too. Here’s how:

1. Understand the difference between urgent and important.

President Eisenhower said, "I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent."

The Eisenhower Principle can describe all of our priorities. Important activities create outcomes that lead us to achieving our long-term goals. Urgent activities demand our immediate attention, and are usually external—helping someone else achieve their goals, like a needy friend, a boss, or a client. Given that the consequences of not complying with the urgent have immediate consequences, we often tend to them first… or for some of us, we only manage these concerns, all of the time.

2. Know what’s important to you.

What are you longing to do? What tugs at your heart and resonates with you? The first thing we need to do to get the important stuff done is know what the important stuff is. This year for me it was writing a book (which registered exactly zero on the urgency scale, but 100 on the importance scale).

What matters to you—jumping on a plane to visit your grandmother, visiting Egypt, starting that jewelry-making business on Etsy?

3. Consider what makes you feel bad.

Some people struggle with identifying what they do want, but know very clearly what they don’t want. What is grating on you in your life? A client said to me recently, "I hate working an office 9-6 job."

That’s a good starting point! She was voicing that she wanted freedom over her schedule. This led us to brainstorming jobs with more work-from-home flexibility, and even considering consulting work and going freelance, full time.

What would you like to change about your life right now? This is a big indicator of what’s secretly important to you.

4. Determine what you admire in other people.

When I’m on my third mimosa at brunch and a girl walks past the restaurant carrying a yoga mat, I always feel a slight pang of envy and guilt... as I turn away and continue to eat my pancakes.

A friend recently said to me, "How is it that most of the people you coach have a full-time job and a business on the side? That’s a trend?! Wow!" She really wants to start a side hustle as a health coach.

When we longingly observe what other people do—from making time for intimacy to starting a business to working out three times a week—we know what our next objective should be.

5. Schedule time to achieve your goals.

A client of mine is a full-time attorney and is also working on writing a novel. I told her to schedule writing hours: two-hour blocks set two to three times a week, and more when possible.

She said to me, "What a palm-to-forehead moment! I thought the writing would just come somehow. Scheduling it like an appointment made all the difference!" She now writes from 5 to 7 a.m. two mornings a week, and also on Sunday evenings. Boom! That novel will be in her hands in no time.

One of my business mentors doesn’t check his phone or email for the first two hours of every day. He sets his own agenda in that time—not the people asking him for stuff, calling him wanting something, or tagging him on Facebook. His important needs come first: writing, meditating, and having breakfast with his wife. External, urgent needs come second. No wonder he gets so much done, and that he is so happy and calm!

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Getting the important stuff done matters. Otherwise, our lives are frittered away on meetings, happy hours, bad Lifetime movies, and Instagram. So know what matters to you, understand what is making you feel like sh*t, and know that you can change it, you powerful thing. Look around you: People are already doing the thing you want to do. Unless that person is a unicorn, it’s possible for you too!

And nothing beats action, my friend. A book won’t write itself. My body won’t magically manifest itself in a yoga studio. Your dating life won’t double overnight as you sit on the sofa, eating Doritos. You gotta get busy! What will you be scheduling in your calendar this week?

Susie Moore is Greatist's life coach columnist and a confidence coach in New York City. Her new book, What If It Does Work Out?, is available on Amazon now. Sign up for free weekly wellness tips on her website and check back every Tuesday for her latest No Regrets column!

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